Good reasons to request our child is moved to another class??

[Nunu500]

Hi ,

Our son TS has recently been admitted to reception year. However at induction day it was apparent that a little boy from his nursery with whom he has had some problems with have been put in the same class. We raised concerns about this other child during nursery and have made two formal complaints about him to the nursery as he is very disruptive and has caused some injuries to our son. Namely horrible scratches, (drawing blood), biting and kicking our son in the back bruising his spine as well as hitting him over the head with a chair because he was not getting his way to name but a few.... We are not the only parents with issues with this little boy as I have heard others parents complaining, however I do think he targets our son. TS definitely stands up for himself and does not cry easily so I don?t think the nursery teachers were not quite as aware. Instead when he comes home he complains that this little guy has hurt him yet again! I have checked with the nursery teachers and the events are always started by the ?other? boy. We have also noticed a difference in TS?s behaviour at times and seen an element of ?copying? the other little boy when not getting his way. This is not how we know TS to be and when questioning him he says (so and so does it). I am concerned with him being in the same class for the next 7 years with this other little boy. At induction this little boy attached himself to TS indicating his insecurity so I can only imagine when they officially start school that it will be the same and to be blunt I don?t want him associating with this boy. I want his experience at school to be positive and happy from the start and not have him being hurt & worried or for that matter getting into trouble because he feels it ?cool? to copy this other boy. Has anyone any good reasons to convince the headmaster to move our son to a different class as they are quite strict once they have placed everyone and reluctant to move them to a different class? I might add that TS nursery teacher agreed that TS in singled out by this boy and that she too would agree they not be placed in the same class and has offered her support by way of a letter to the headmistress.

I would ask that the other boy be removed until the school can guarantee your child's safety.

Don't be afraid to ask the school.
Most will be quite receptive and probbaly better sorted out now than part way through the year.

TBH, I'd just lay it out the way you have here. If other staff have noticed that this OB seems to victimise your son, a report may have been made to strengthen your case. OTOH, it may be character forming for him. Is it possible that the OB is jealous of your son in some way?

I would ask what exactly the school is doing about this behaviour. What is their policy?It is unacceptable for one child to be behaving like this. Keep a record, make sure that the school is aware of each incident - be calm, firm and not emotional about it. I wouldn't ask for MY child to be removed - he is not the problem - the problem is that the school is tolerating this and not (evidently) doing anything about it.

The problem with moving classes once they've been decided is that a child from another class would also have to move in order to accommodate your son. The other child may be happy because they're in a class with friends or happy that they're not in someone else's class, so moving children around can open a whole can of worms. I would instead speak to the class teacher and outline your concerns. Teachers can quite easily place children in different groups, move them to the front of the carpet etc... It may be different at outside play when they can choose and seems to be less supervision, however at my dd's school the 3 reception classes play outside together, so moving classes would not solve your problem.

I do sympathise, as it is a horrible situation to be in, but I think the best you can do at this stage is very clearly make your point, and go in to see the teacher at the first sign of any trouble.

Do you mean they start together in Sept, rather than they are already together? That is how I understood your OP but others seem to think school is putting up with his behaviour already.

I think you should schedule in an honest and frank discussion with the class teacher. I wouldn't go in all guns blazing - who knows what this other little boy's problems are? - but you have a right to voice your concerns and ask what strategies the school are going to put in place to ensure that your child is safe and able to learn.

Is the nursery your DS attends attached to the school or is it a daycare nursery? If it's attached to the school I would imagine that the nursery staff have been involved in the allocation of pupils to classes so it would make sense to ask to meet the teacher/FS co-ordinator and seek reassurance that your DS will be encouraged to make new friends and that they will keep an eye out for problems arising between the two.

If it is a daycare nursery then it may be that information has not been passed on about your DS and the other child's previous clashes in which case I would suggest you ask to meet the FS co-ordinator and see what can be done at this stage.

In some schools classes are mixed up at the end of Reception, every other year or every year so it's also worth asking if that's a possibility. Reception is very different from a daycare nursery and it may well be that this other child copes much better and/or that your DS quickly forms new friendships so isn't a target in the same way.

Hello everyone, thank you for your replies. Maybe I have not been clear, my son is currently at nursery with this OB and this is where the problems have occurred. However they are both to start at the same school and same class in September later this year.

I did go to see the headmaster of the school he will attending from September and asked if our son could be placed in a different class to this OB as we want his experience of school to be a positive and happy experience from the onset. Also 3 of his little friends are in the other class we want him changed too however my husband forgot to fill this part of the form in when sending the application.
The HM advised that it would be very difficult to try and move him to a different class now as all the other children were settled in the knowledge of where they would be going. I however feel that as school has not yet started, that children in their respective classes have not yet bonded and formed friendships although some may have at the respective nurseries they attend. My biggest concern is that my son will again be targeted and influenced by this OB and I do believe it will affect his development in some way as he may be branded as ?the naughty? one or more importantly be hurt again by this OB. I was rather emotional about it in the meeting and possibly should have been more firm in asking what exactly the school ?s policy was on this sort of behaviour and what they would do in the event that the same issues occur that have at nursery. I am going to write a letter to the HM to back up the conversation we had in out meeting by way of making it formally known that we have raised these issues. If anyone has had a similar problem and might have some good advice by way of what to document to make it clear to the HM that I am serious about this and that these incidents were not a little scratch here and there. Our sons happiness and safety are paramount and we want his experience of school to be happy and positive! Is there any ?body/organisation? of sort one can use as leverage to show the school how serious we are? I do believe that they can make an exception and move OS as school has not yet started. We would rather avoid a possible situation in the class and not have them together from the onset if we can, than for issues to arise and be dealt with at a later date. My son?s nursery teacher has also agreed that they not be in the same class and agrees that OS will be targeted as she sees this on a daily basis at nursery. I don?t want to come across as emotional and I want the school to take this seriously. The HM did open a door stating that should someone from the other class drop out before school commenced that OS would be moved.

Of course you want your DS to be safe and happy at school but I'm sure you also wouldn't want to prejudice the happiness of other children by having one relocated away from the class s/he is expecting to join because, in part, your DH didn't complete the friends section of the application form!

I think you may have to accept that the Head has said he will transfer your DS in the event that someone drops out but cannot do anything else at this stage. Perhaps your letter could simply thank him for his time, restate that there have been numerous incidents at nursery between your DS and another child, apologise for the fact that your DH missed the opportunity to include details of friends on the form and simply request written reassurance that should someone drop-out (or maybe not turn up in September - it happens!) that your DS will be given the opportunity to change classes.

It might be prudent to include something about how you would be happy for your own DS's new friendship circle to be disrupted and for him to be moved even if a space in the parallel class doesn't become available until later in the year (I'm thinking of summer-born 5-year-olds whose parents have deferred entry and maybe decide to HE). Otherwise it would be easy for the school to make the assumption that, in April, you may feel your DS would be being 'singled out' for a transfer and that this may affect him socially and so they mightn't automatically move him.

I am sorry you are feeling so unhappy about the class your child has been placed in but I'm afraid that it's not something any parent really has control over if they choose to have their children educated at school. There will, throughout life be children we might prefer our children not to mix with and demanding that others be inconvenienced/upset every time we encounter such a child is neither possible nor fair. Assuming your son won't be 5 when term starts in September you could always keep him off school until later on i.e. when a place becomes available in the other class...