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Was I Wrong?

18 replies

merrilymerrily · 28/06/2010 17:00

DD came crying to me as I was talking to other parents in the park after school saying that 2 girls in her class had just hurt her in the park.. I had heard one girl's name mentioned far to many times and quite frankly I had enough.

I went to the girls and told all three of them off asking them to play nicely and that I did not want to hear about any arguments between them. One girl took this opportunity to tell my DD off for pointing and I stopped her in her tracks and said that I did not want to hear any tails.

My last word on the matter was to tell my DD that it was enough (i.e to stop her tears and to stop the conflict)

As I turned to return to my conversation with other parents a group of parents were looking at me in disgust.

I am from the old school that if a child/children are misbehaving I will pull them up regardless to who is around. It just so happened that these girls parents were not around at the time

When I asked my dd if I dealt with the girls too roughly she said yes. I do not know if this is because she does not like being told off in any shape or form or if this is because she was just embarrassed or what.

I thought I would throw it out there!

Was I wrong? What would you have done? How would you have reacted if you had witnessed this?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
cornsilk5793 · 28/06/2010 17:02

did you get their side of the story first?

bigstripeytiger · 28/06/2010 17:04

How old are the girls?

2shoes · 28/06/2010 17:04

will watch with interest

cat64 · 28/06/2010 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Runoutofideas · 28/06/2010 17:08

What form did the "telling off" take? If your daughter thought you were too rough on them does this mean you were angrily screaming and shouting, or was it a calm approach?

merrilymerrily · 28/06/2010 17:23

i did not hear anyones complete side i stopped my DD mid sentence and told them all off. naybe i should have just listened to them all.

my telling off was a firm tone slightly raised voice but i did not shout.

am beginning to feel bad

OP posts:
merrilymerrily · 28/06/2010 17:24

they were all 6

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 28/06/2010 17:33

The problem is that you didn't actually see what happened, so it's hard to say if you were justified or not. OK your dd said they hurt her, which is bad. OTOH when you started telling them off, one of them started to explain something about what your dd had done, and you didn't hear her out. Maybe they only hurt her by accident after she had done something herself. You just don't know the whole story, and didn't wait to find it out.

I don't think there's a problem with pulling up other people's children when you see them doing something and their parents aren't around. But wading into a disagreement on the basis of what one child tells you isn't quite the same thing.

merrilymerrily · 28/06/2010 18:04

Amumin Scotland i get your point thanks guys i will think before i act next time

OP posts:
Tidey · 28/06/2010 18:11

It sounds alright to me, it's not like you screaned and swore at them, neither does it sound like you took your DD's word for it and just told off the other two. If all of them were told to stop being silly and play nicely, it sounds like you were quite fair, imo.

pontypandy · 28/06/2010 18:17

i agree with Tidey

thisisyesterday · 28/06/2010 18:23

I think it's ok myself.

you say there have been problems with some of them before anyway. your dd was upset, the other girl was telling tales as well.
I think it's within reason to tell them all to stop the nonsense, your DD included

luciemule · 28/06/2010 18:27

Yes I agree with todey too- you didn't single any action or person out and just said they should generally all play nicely. Stopping the other girl in her tracks is neither here or there- you're letting the the other child know you don't want to hear any more tales; effectively giving her the chance not to get herself deeper into trouble either. You were fair in that you were telling all 3 including your dd.

claig · 28/06/2010 18:32

I think it was OK. Even if you did get the wrong end of the stick, the children will realise that and not be bothered about it

piprabbit · 28/06/2010 18:35

I think you behaved pretty reasonably. TBH, I'd be happy for someone to deal with my 6yo DD like this if she was acting up and I wasn't around to sort it out.

judytzuke · 28/06/2010 19:37

OP - I think you were spot on esp. as you included your own child in the telling off. The other parents were looking on in admiration not disgust. I have done the same and more myself (told a boy off for telling my child to "Go and tell your mum to F* Off", I did this in front of his mother and his teacher: he was v surprised and so were they, and I saw some looks at me from other parents but so what? I'd be glad for my DCs to be told off if they were behaving atrociously - I am a firm beleiver that it "takes a village to raise a child" i.e we all need to take responsibility.

merrilymerrily · 29/06/2010 09:29

thank you all for your comments i am so happy to hear all the perpectivesI i do feel so much more reassured it seemed right to me but really started to doubt.

Many thanks again

OP posts:
sydenhamhiller · 29/06/2010 20:29

Judytzuke - 'takes a village to raise a child is one of my dearly held beliefs' - I think I love you

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