Does anyone else fret about their child starting school?

[BelleDameSansMerci]

I'm not sure if I'm being completely ridiculous or just a normal parent here...

My DD/PFB isn't even three yet but I'm already concerned about how she will fare at school. I'm just about decided on the school - by some weird chance live in catchment for local "outstanding" primary etc. My problem though is that I am really concerned about how she will be treated. She's very popular at her nursery and seems to make friends quite easily but I'm worried about bullying as a result of this.

I could leave her at her nursery/school until she's about 8 but would then have to go through all this at an age where she might be less "adaptable". Her nursery/school environment is very nurturing and "respect" based (Montessori) and I think it would be more of a shock for her to change at 8 than 4 or 5.

Am I being stupid or is this concern normal?

yes! i mean, i also worry about this but dont know if its normal or not.

and actually, i am even more of a pansy ass than you because i havent sent DD to playschool either.........

It's hard leaving your dear child with strangers and wondering how she will cope. We have had very anxious parents who stayed every day for over a year at my school! This had the effect of the child looking to the parent for problem solving rather than learning to deal with social situations himself, with the help of the staff, who are usually well able to deal with such matters.

My own worst day was leaving my eldest child at high school, when it definitely looked odd to be hanging around.

oh! you can stay with your kids? that never even occured to me.....[wonders off to see if this will fly at the local montessori]

Phew - not just me then!

I'm very aware that I can be over-protective

frik parents often stay with the very young children at DD's Montessori. Suspect it gives the staff a break tbh!!

Frikonastick - I don't know how common this is, but my school does not mind parents hanging about, but prefers them to be useful.

BDSM, i hear you with the over protective thing. i always comfort myself with the idea that after she has escaped my sticky grasp (at saaaaay, 30 or 40....) she can then engage in as many risy things as she likes.......kidding of course (although, not really)

am seriously cheered up by this thread! have put in call to local montessori (they just finding someone who speaks english to call me back) and then i recon me and DD will be trying it out.

although, less enthused by the useful requirement [lazy bum emoticon]

It's difficult as a parent to imagine your child older than they are now. In 18 months/2 years time they can be very different and will be ready for school. My DC are less than 2 years apart, but are very different maturity wise.

Having said that I'm still panicking about my DD crossing the main road to get to high school and that's years away!

Also, school can (and should) be a very nurturing and respectful environment, too. So the transition will not be as hard as you imagine.

And for god sake don't worry about being bullied before she has even reach school - you'll be a nervous wreck before then end of the first term!

I think I would just leave it and wait and see what she is like at 5 or so - at least you have the option to leave her in the Montessori nursery if you don't think she is ready for school. Our Montessori only takes children up to age 5 and I worry whether DS will be ready for school at 5. I have heard of parents HEing until age 7 or 8 if they felt their children were not yet ready for school and they didn't seem to have any problems settling in.

Are there other children at the nursery who are likely to go to the same school as her? Have you spoken to the other parents (maybe nearer the time!) to see if they are planning on moving them at 5 or 8 or some time in between?

Oh I worry too. My dd is just 3 and I suspect will be ready. She talks about school, asks when she can go and I think will benefit from nursery from September. She's friendly and sociable and craves company. I know it's the right time for her.

But but but they don't love her. The can't read her, can't know what to say to make her smile when she's hurt. And I'm very child led. She's never had set times or routine really. I worry about the transition. I worry about how I will cope.

I am v pathetic I suspect.

SoH, don't think you're pathetic at all. My DD has been at nursery from very tiny (had to get back to work) so they do know her etc, etc. I think my problem with the idea of school is just the same as yours really. I'm certain she'll be ready for school - she's, ahem, rather precocious or is that precious?!

It's me, not her.

Thank you all for responding too. Makes me feel less PFB-y about it.