tips on lighting that spark for a reluctant reader?

[ErnestTheBavarian]

Hi, I'd be grateful for any suggestions to set ds off.

He is 6 and due to start school in September, I'd really like him to be reading well-ish by then.

With ds1 & 2, I used the book 'Teach your child to read in 100 lessons'. Neither of them got past chapter 45. By then they were sounding words out, then suddenly took off and away they went, devouring every book they could get their hands on. They are both now still avid readers.

Now with ds 3 I have dragged him with metaphorical bloody knees right to the end of the book and he still is shut down and risistant to all attempts. I think he wants to stay a baby in Kindergarten all his life. Not a bad wish but a tad unrealistic. He just has no desire to try. I have bought him books, games, I have ried just writing the odd word on the etch a sketch type thingy, writing a shopping list, any little tricks or games to get him to read but he just won't.

I must be missing some cool fun trick that'll have him wanting to do it.

I have dropped it for a while now as I don't want to make reading feel like a battle or punishment, but I am very aware that September is creeping up on us, and I'd really like to have him reading English, even a bit before he has to start reading German.

Any ideas?

Yes, continue to back off with the pressure as you have done - it is just counterproductive as you've worked out.
Introduce books that appeal to his interests - trains, planes, whatever he is into. Let him look at the pictures if he's not ready to read them himself but chances are he'll get curious if they are about something he loves.

Make sure you are a good role model for reading enjoyment too but I imagine you do that.

My 6yo dd wouldn't read at all. A year ago, her teacher wrote in her report that she refused to read and found books boring. She had a big aversion to books in general.

Our spark came in the form of the video game, Animal Crossing. She wanted to be able to read what the characters were saying and ended up teaching herself. She now is never without a book in a hand (although sadly, mostly these are Rainbow Fairies or Pixie Hollow at the moment!)

I agree with 'ireallyreally...' - find what he's really interested in and use that. If he loves cars, read the make on passing cars or car stickers. Also look at comic books, video games (with text in), sticker albums... anything that feels like 'fun' and not necessarily like picking up a book.

Try comics, magazines, newspapers. The sight of a book might be putting him off slightly.

Oh another thing is to write him silly little messages using wording appropriate to his stage. I also sometimes write little stories for ds - they were really rubbish from a grown-up viewpoint but appealed to his interests and were fun for him.

maybe he just isn't ready yet? don't put too much pressure on or he won't enjoy it and that might jus tput him off completely

IMO it's school's job to teach them to read and write, and while obvioiusoly I would encourage and assist a child who WANTED to do these things, I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to teach them before school if they weren't bothered.

ds1 is in reception at the moment and has been utterly uninterested in reading or writing until the last couple of weeks

it started with him sounding something out and getting it right. I think the key for him is knowing he can do it, and having got that one right he is really keen to do more

Ds didn't start reading (as opposed to learning the books off by heart) until he was 6.5.

The school was really supportive and said that some kids (espcailly boys) just aren't developmentally ready until they are 6. They supported him with extra 1:1 tuition before deciding to drop him to the "middle" language group so as not to damage his confidence. 2.5 year later (late on in P4) they moved him back to the top group and this last year (P5) he has just flown thourgh his language stuff.

What did help was "Captain Underpants" and "Super Diaper Baby". The combination of cartoons and puerile humour relly got his interest. You just have to suppress your onw sensibilities.

Is your ds interested in sport? That's another thing that encourage ds to learn to read: intially he would just take the sports pages to find the scores - but then he tried to actually read the articles about the teams he was interested in.

Are you Germany, OP? What does school actually expect him to be able to do by the time he starts?

In the British and American systems it's expected that the child will learn to read after they start formal school. It's increasingly common for American kids not to start kindergarten until after their 6th birthday, too.

Can you get hold of the Beano? It is completely uneducational, full of naughty characters, and great fun to read. Maybe he will read for pleasure before reading to learn - like the Animal Crossing girl.

Hi, thanks for suggestions so far. yes, sorry if unclear. We are in Germany and he isn't expected by the school to be able to read at all. I just really would like him to have English under his belt before he has to start formally learning German, as the reading has many differences and I thought it would be less confusing if he was confident in one language.

I am a little at a loss, as the experience with him is so different from that of his brothers. And yes, his dad and i and 2 brothers are big readers so it's a bit disappointing he won't do it.

I paid for him to join club penguin thinking that might tempt him, but no. Any one know of an iPhone app or something that might help, he's addicted to my iPhone.

If he's not ready, he's not ready.

Just to reassure you: ds, who as I said did not "get" reading until he was 6.5, despite lots of extra 1:1 support from the school, is now, at 9, an enthusiastic reader, devouring "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" and actually takes books in to school to read during quiet times.

One peice of advice the depute head gave us (who was the one who gave him the 1:1 tuition) was to encourage him in whatever he was interested in. In his case, the trigger was the desire to read the football and rugby reports. What is your ds interested in? If, say, it is dinosaurs, get some "easy" books about dinosaurs. "Horrible History" and "Horrible Science" books are also tuned into young boys' mentalities.

I wouldn't worry to much, all children are different. My DS was reading Harry Potter at seven but then he wasn't bilingual. I would just make sure you read to him every day - sure it will come.

When I used to give DS pocket money my rule was 'books don't count' so he could have any book he wanted as long as he read it and it didn't come out of his money. Amazing how motivating a £5 in a bookshop can be....That is not to say I wouldn't use libraries but I used to find if DS wanted a book, he wanted it then and there so if the library didn't have it we bought it. Also, in the end the library fines cost more than buying the books. 'Books don't count' also means that the child thinks they are getting an excellent deal, but it can get expensive if you develop an avid reader. Sometimes DS used to buy utter dross, but most of us don't read high brow material all the time and I don't expect children to be any different.