Life's unfair!

[TheStarsWillShineTonight]

Or how else do I put it?

The school have implemented a new dicipline system about 2 weeks ago - you get a star for hard work and good behaviour.
DD came home from school yesterday very upset because despite behaving well and working hard the teacher has failed to notice her - lots of the children have had a star - some have had several. Her twin recieved one yesterday and he didn't help matters when he said that he was surprised he got it as he didn't feel he was behaving particularly well.
She's a very sensitive little girl and feels quite rejected that her efforts have not been appreciated, while other have been recognised.

I'd say "I'm sure the teacher will notice soon", and then have a quiet word with the teacher to make sure she does get a star PDQ!

The trouble with a lot of these systems is that children who are habitually quiet, well-behaved, hard-working etc often do get overlooked, as it gets taken for granted that they will do that. And the badly-behaved get a star for having been ok for a short time, as the teacher notices this and wants to reward it.

Do speak to the teacher, and suggest she makes sure the "good" ones get a star reasonably frequently as well as the "bad" ones.

My school did this way back when I was in Reception. I came home and announced to my Mum that I was going to do something naughty, then be good again, because you got a star if you were good after being naughty. Cue my Mum popping in to have a chat with the teacher.

Funnily enough, I got a sticker the next day

kids who behave and get on with their work and are acheiving fine get passed over in school

unless their mothers have quiet words with the teachers

Are your twins in the same class? I definitely think it's worth mentioning to the teacher, ideally with your DD alongside you so the teacher has the opportunity then and there to praise her too. If it's a new system it sounds like something that would have benefitted from a slightly different approach i.e. every day give a star to those who have been behaving (so only those who are silly don't get one!).

FWIW I don't think all well-behaved, hard-working children get passed over unless parents speak to the teacher; some of us make an effort to ensure that those who always do the right thing get noticed! Today I had most of a Y3 class complain that I let X, Y and Z do some sticking (it was the lettering for a display, not that exciting) and wanted to know why. The answer? That X, Y and Z have been working hard and behaving brilliantly all day....

DS1, like most 5 year olds, has a well-developed sense of fairness and talent for spotting unfairness. His school give out "clean plate awards" for those who eat all of their lunch, and it took all of two weeks to realise that if you clean your plate every day, you don't necessarily get a sticker every day. He was most aggrieved.

I think these systems are rotten, really, as the quiet children or those who behave sensibly most of the time, do get overlooked. Surely it just encourages them to stop trying?