Has anyone taken their child out of sex eduaction classes (yr4)

[drivinmecrazy]

DD1 is a pretty sensible, sensitive child who is really not happy about watching the videos. She had tried to hide the letter from us which invited parents to view the DVD last Friday (only found the letter last night). DD thought if we didn't have the letter she wouldn't have to watch the DVDs. She told me that she didn't feel she needed to know 'all that stuff' yet.
Ideologically I agree with her. She is still a little girl, the idea of sex has never entered her head and i don't really want any one to push that information on her when she is not ready.
However, I am aware I will be in the minority in her class if I take her out (2 other parents doing the same). There will be play ground talk and friends will be talking about it. I don't want her to start hearing half truths and information out of context.
I really never thought I would be so prudish when it came to my PFB and sex education

If you don't allow it, you may find that she is the sensible, sensitive pregnant child who tries to hide her pregnancy from you. The stereotypes about who ends up getting pregnant aren't always true.

My dd is yr 4 but as far as I know she won't get sex ed till nxt year. I am of the opinion that she needs to know the facts and not the playground version. I have told her the basics about puberty and sex and she is disgusted that her mum and dad did that . However, when she tells me there is kissing competitions in the playground where the boys pick a girl to kiss a group and vote the best one (she doesn't participate apparently I feel she can't be kept in the dark about sex and relationships much longer. As she now knows the facts from me any dvd she sees in school won't be so embarrassing/shocking/ disgusting and she should feel comfortable to come back and ask me about anything she doesn't understand.

If she feels she doesn't need to know all that stuff yet, and is hiding it from you, then she really does need to start learning about it. She's frightened and worried about the unknown. It has entered her head, she does know something, but it doesn't make sense to her. It's up to you, as her parent, to prepare her and start teaching her.

Sex education doesn't need to be 'taught' formally. It can be the result of a cosy discussion. But if it scares her so much you need to address it.

I am determined that I will teach my children about sex. I don't want their first knowledge to come from school, to seem academic and soemthing outside the family. So, as ds1 (my PFB, and also a sensitive, easily worried type) hadn't asked any questions by the summer holiday before he entered Y4, I engineered the discussion. It came about because he was in the room while I was dressing, and commented on my fat tummy - how did I know that there wasn't a baby growing inside when it was so big?

Perfect jumping-off point!

Short question and anwer discussion resulted in him being delighted "You mean that when I'm an adult I'll be able to get married and make babies with my wife?! Oh Wow! That's brilliant!"

I was quite suprised at his delight, and at the happiness the discussion would give him.

Allowing her to continue seeing sex education (and by extension, sexuality) as something scary and horrible and wanting her mother to protect her from it is actually harmful to her. Fear and ignorance are a lethal combination. She'll end up with distorted ideas about sexual behaviour and without the knowledge necessary to take care of herself physically and mentally.

I was getting a bit worried that my DS (year 3) hasn't asked any questions about this yet, so I'm quite happy to hear that they'll learn about it in year 4 and he can ask me any further questions he might have after that. I haven't broached the subject because I wanted to leave it until he wanted to know rather than suddenly throw a load of information at him he might not be ready to hear. So no, I wouldn't take him out of the lessons but would be interested to see the DVD they use first.

If your DD has said she doesn't need to know about 'all that' yet, then surely she must know some of it in order to know that she doesn't want to know more, IYSWIM?

We are, and always have been very open with her. We have answered questions as they have come up. She knows how babies are made, as she was nearly 5 when her sister was born so had that conversation very early. I do think I have to trust her to deal with it.
Think will definitely explain about letter to teacher this afternoon and ask to see the DVD at home. At least I will know what she will be watching and be able to talk to her afterwards.

Maybe she's thinking soemthing along the lines of when she learns something at school she is then expected to do that thing. After all, it happens in maths classes, in PE classes, in science and DT classes...

That could be very worrying to her.

"DD1 is a pretty sensible, sensitive child who is really not happy about watching the videos." Why is this? Has she already heard "half truths and information out of context" and has misunderstood what is in the DVD?

If you already knows then maybe she is just afraid of feeling embarrassed about watching the vid with her classmates as there will probably be a lot of giggling and silliness? Or maybe she thinks it will be very graphic?

TBH I'd be a bit worried if my Y4 son was uncomfortable about watching the DVDs. If she already knows about it, why's she unhappy? I think if DS2 said he didn't want to watch them I would insist that he did, precisely because allowing him not to would be making some kind of taboo out of sex and puberty.

Neither of my sons are sensitive or sensible, though - they just thought/think it's a laugh.