I never thought I'd be asking this but how do you support a year 6 child who will be leaving their friends to go to secondary school?

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

He's said he's really sad to be leaving. He's made alot of friends, he's popular at school and has a couple of close friends. He's been there since September, he was bullied in his last school and he's been made to feel so welcome. He's happy and has had no problems (apart from the teacher worrying about his gun pictures and need to write about rockets). His caring side has really come out but it's almost time for all the year 6's to leave. There's only 8 of them and none of them are moving to the same school. How do I help him adjust?

same situation for my ds last year

i bought him a cheap mobile phone as his primary school allowed them to take phones in on the last day of year 6 so he exchanged numbers with some friends and this helped him keep in contact with them throughout the summer holidays

Once secondary school started I also encouraged ds to meet up with some of his primary school friends, at first i was concerned it would somehow prevent him making new friends in secondary school but it didn't and he found it useful to talk to his peers about the changes he was facing

He is coming to the end of year 7 now and has gradually built up a new friendship group at secondary school but he has stayed in regular contact (phone and meeting up) with 2 of his primary friends

i know how worrying it can be not just for your ds but for you as his mum but it has amazed me watching ds change before my eyes this last year, he has changed from being tearful and really missing primary school to loving secondary school and keeping really fond memories of his primary school with him

Its amazing how much they grow up over the course of year 7

That's really lovely to hear.

He's moved schools a couple of times before, he plays on Runescape with his old friends but they don't play any more and they don't keep in touch. I hope his new friends are different. He's just come back from having a few days away with the year 5/6, he's pleased he went.

i needed to push my son at times to keep in contact,

I also organised a sleepover during the summer holidays to try to keep the friendships going and also a couple of days where they could come over and play xbox together

at times i felt i was doing more work than my ds or his mates at keeping the friendship going!

My ds is also in the same position. He is the only child in Year 6 going to his particular school (but it is far far better then the schools his friends are going to )

To be honest, the move to Secondary School means that previously established friendship groups change dynamics and groups split and reform elsewhere.

My DD made TONS of new friends when she started Secondary school in additions to staying frinds with her Primary School crowd.

Make sure that he collects phone numbers/email addresses of his friends so that he can keep in touch via Facebook etc (if you are Happy for him to use it).

You should also find that the Head of Year 7 will make sure that your son is well intergrated into Year 7

He has a facebook account, it's for family really though. I don't think his friends are allowed to have an account.
The school he's moving to has a junior school so most of the boys will know each other but there will be some new ones starting aswell so he won't be completely alone. There's alot of things that he can do (reading group/debating etc) so he'll mix with boys from all of the year groups. He's done so well this year though, he's really matured, I'm a little sad the year hasn't been longer.

My ds also leaving this summer. His best mate of the past 7 years is going to another school - in fact most of his circle are split up secondary school wise. I don't think boys are as good at keeping in touch as girls but I'm hoping it they will all see each other as they live fairly closely and we mums all get on well too. I may have to be proactive on ds's behalf at first though.

I have a teenage dd who is quite shy too. She's kept in contact with all her 'old' best mates and they see each other regularly - she also has a good group of new friends from her class. First term was hard but then it got better

Is your ds going on an induction day at his new school?
Get him to chat to some boys- try and find one he's got something in common with and maybe get together over the holidays.
Tell him to be smiley and friendly- first impressions are important!
I'm sure all will go well- dd hated all the girls in her yr 6 and is a social butterfly in yr 8! Friends in yr 6 aren't necessarily the ones they'll have in secondary school.
Good luck!

Agree with deaddei, try to find at least one boy he knows ? perhaps from Cubs or sport or one of his outside interests ? and get them together a bit over the holidays.

We did this last year when DD was going to a different secondary school from all her girl friends, it just gives them a little bit of confidence to start with ? 2 terms on and DD has a whole new crowd of friends, and still sees her old primary school friends too.

Belle my Y7 DS is at the school your DS is moving too - he had no problem at all mingling in with the ex-junior school boys - the school works very hard to balance the classes and ensure that no existing friendship groups dominate. Now, nearly one year in, DS is friends in some capacity with the majority of the year, and very good friends with 20 or so boys. It's been fab for his self-esteem as he had very few friends at primary school, and has only kept in touch with two of them.

Also, in his mix of friends now I'd say roughly 50% are boys who were at NHS juniors. After the first week or so everyone seemed to forget who'd been to which school. It's a very friendly ethos and they are encouraged very quickly to make friends. Also they don't get homework for the first few weeks so it's a good idea to have a few friends back for tea etc in that time.

Good luck,I am sure your DS will blossom at his new school

My son is in year 9, has only one friend really at his seniors from primary days. He has a few friends from primary at other schools who he keeps in contact with. He also has a whole load of new friends from other schools.
At private schools lots of kids from ds's year were the only one, or one of 2, and they all seem pretty well integrated now.

Just go with the wobbles over the summer, and keep optimistic for September.
Good luck!

Belle, DS3 is in the same situation. He will be the only going to his secondary school.
He is not very happy but like Betty's DS, he is going to a the best local Comp.
What upsets him most is not so much the fact that he is the only one going, but that nearly all the rest of his friends will be together at the local grammar. Not only that, but both his older brothers have gone to the grammar.
I know he will be fine, but the first few days could be hard.