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Is it me or is this OTT?

6 replies

asdx2 · 15/05/2010 11:04

Dd's teacher (y2) asked to speak to me after school on thursday.
It transpired that at carpet time dd had been asked by a child to sit next to her and dd said "no I don't want to sit next to you" in an unkind tone (according to teacher)
Teacher then proceeded to tell me that the day previous dd and my child had been the best of friends and she felt that dd was being devious and using this child for her own ends because this child had voted for dd in some election.
So teacher had told this other child to remember how dd had behaved and bear it in mind next time.
Teacher told me this with dd in such a way that dd was told off all over again with an audience of children as well as having been placed on the sad face for the day.
Dd has no behavioural problems, she does have a statement and she does have autism so my feeling is that it was a very trivial offence to be called in over, the teacher has read far more into dd's tone than was meant,teacher has accredited dd with the social deviousness of a politician when she has recognised and diagnosed deficits in this area, dd didn't need reprimanding twice for the same thing and given her social and communication difficulties it should have been addressed as a difficulty rather than a behavioural issue?
Am I being PFB (bearing in mind she is my fifth) and is it unreasonable to expect the teacher to respond to my letter detailing my concerns? (I couldn't chat at the time because dd is very anxious and if she saw me chatting she would assume she was in trouble again)Teacher pointedly ignored on Friday me so if I don't get a response would I be unreasonable to forward a copy of letter to the headteacher?
Thanks in advance

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Hassled · 15/05/2010 11:09

You aren't being precious, the teacher sounds clueless wrt social/communication issues and I agree with everything you've said.

BUT - writing a letter is not the way to go at this stage. Make a proper appointment - can you get the teacher at lunchtime if after school is not doable (or is there anyone who could do school pick up for you one day?)? Talk to the teacher first - a formal letter is just going to make an already bad atmosphere worse. Then go to the SENCo. Good luck - let's hope the Yr3 teacher has a clue.

lavenderbongo · 15/05/2010 11:12

I think she totally overeacted and she got involved in something that should have been left to the children to sort out.
I think she needs to respond to your letter and obviously needs to be reminded about your daughters age and autism. She sounds a bit nutty.

cory · 15/05/2010 11:17

She sounds totally gormless. Why couldn't she just say to your dd "that's not a nice thing to say, dd" and then move on? If parents have to be called in over every minor "ner ner ner ner" issue, what are they going to do over serious issues?

asdx2 · 15/05/2010 11:18

I would have preferred to chat but dd was in a state on friday (because of the dressing down she recieved thursday teatime) and my concern and priority was her.
I wrote because teacher only works thursday and friday in dd's class and I don't generally pick up dd on friday so didn't expect the opportunity to see her after drop off friday.
I did write in the letter that I would like the opportunity to chat at a time when dd wasn't about as it would add to her anxiety so didn't expect to be ignored on friday teatime.
Now I will need to wait to thursday to ask for an appointment I suppose or see her in the other class that she works the earlier part of the week (would that be inappropriate do you think?)

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bellissima · 15/05/2010 11:39

Crikey - my Yr 2 DC is NT and wouldn't have the nous or guile to behave in the way that the teacher is alleging of your child. Ridiculous! Maybe, given that you have written, you should ask to see her early next week, I don't think that would be inappropriate.

asdx2 · 18/05/2010 05:57

Just an update met with the headteacher because the teacher asked him to handle it But the outcome is that he apologised on her behalf and the teacher will be apologising on thursday.
All requests for meetings to discuss dd will be made through her home school book and never in front of dd in future. The teacher is now aware of the need to make reasonable adjustments (love those words) to take into account dd's social and communication difficulties.
There is no bad feeling well not on my part, the teacher made a mistake and now it's been recognised then it's forgotten. Maybe the letter should have followed a chat BUT the outcome has been successful so alls well that ends well

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