If your kids play an instrument, how & when do they practice?

[NormaSnorks]

Am struggling a bit with this for DS1 (10).

He plays two instruments (his choice, but very supported/ encouraged by me...)but I am finding the whole practice thing becoming a bit of a chore/nagging session (for me).

He knows he has to do it, and actually quite enjoys it when he gets into it, but it's the initiating it that's a problem, as we don't seem to have a fixed routine in place, and every week is a bit different with matches after school, and friends over etc.

He also still tries to persuade me to come an 'sit in' when he's practising, or to play with him (as I play one of the same instruments) and I simply don't have the time to do this all the time, and then he gets stroppy and says "well, I won't practice then"

So I guess my questions are:

• WHEN do you kids practice - is there a set time each day/ no. of days a week?
• Do they practice on their own, or do you get involved?
• If you play an instrument, how/when do you play together?

?

(I realise I'm astonishingly lucky!)

at BadKitten.... you see, you are one of those mothers who got into a good routine early.....

ds has the most beautiful mini cello that the school has lent him as part of a year 4 music programme. he never brings it home anymore as he 'can play it already'

I don't know. My dd is a bit like that too - she also enjoys packing her school bag fgs.

Right. He's got talent. We're ON him Norma. We can forget about my ds1 who was utterly talentless as far as I could see.

Yes. He MUST do this. I'm going to make him too. I'm going to live vicariously through your son, and become the pushiest interested- party alive.

I think the rationale is supposed to be along the lines of -

you don't get anywhere without effort, you need the discipline of effort to reap the rewards of success.

Such rationale DOES make me exceptionally sleepy tbh

DS2 plays the piano and I am absolutely firm about 30 mins practice every day.

The better you get at something, the more enjoyable it is. So it's essential to be firm in the early stages. It's like playing beginner tennis: you can't hit the ball over the net and it's humiliating and not a bit enjoyable. But stick with it, and gradually you manage to hit the ball over the net, then return serve, then rally, then serve, then to play a proper game. Then you play in a match and you experience losing and winning.

In the early music lesson stages, if there was any complaining, I used to say: Carry on to the next grade exam and if you want to give up after that then that's fine. But you mustn't help them give up easily and get into the habit of failing at things. But if someone has given something a reasnoable go and it's not for them, then I wouldn't struggle on.

I think I'm confortable with being firm about it because I would have loved to have had piano lessons as a child, but I never asked because it was very clear that it was only the most privileged children who had private music lessons.

If DS2 stopped practicing, I would very quickly stop paying £1,000 per annum to his music teacher. So it's win win for me.

Just one instrument here and dd gets it done first thing in the morning after getting dressed/making her bed and before breakfast. It works well for us. So far no moans/complaints

Saturday mornings we don't manage atm due to early sport matches, otherwise every day at pretty much the same time

I used to be very involved but have stepped right back. I encourage and praise but that is it now. I generally get one piece played to me at the end, anything dd wants.

oh gawd, I knew Swedes would be firm too.

We're just crap. We need to get tough like these other go-getting types I think Norma

I used to have dd practice early evenings and was very involved in it for the first year or so but like you Norma, we have so many afternoon activites and so on, mornings worked better and dd is less tired. I also have her generally practice less than before

100x Oh gawd. I'm really not a go getty type at all. I am scared of gogetty types.

But I often think families need pre-music lesson counselling with the music teacher and a signed agreement the three parties will stick with the deal. I might set that up "musiclessoncontracts.co.uk which shows the rights and resonsibilities of the three parties.

You must! I didn't mean it horribly at all. I meant just being firm and fair and everyone sticking to the contract, and having some rigour about it. Rather than wishing the whole business would just go away and 'oh your guitar seems to have been at school for a whole week, and you haven't brought it back and I haven't told you to.'

I have fresh scars too, as ds1 did do clarinet for four painful 'you must put in the effort' years

Pupil: Will do 20 mins practice every day except Sundays unless unwell or away from home. Will not give up between grade exams.

Parent: Will not mention piano/sax/guitar practice. Will pay. Will not moan about cost.

cue me wailing: 'but you signed the contract ds1. When you were seven, you signed a contract!'

ds1: shrugs

uhuh

It's a bit like giving your toddler blueberries, blackberries and strawberries to eat while he's sitting on your white loose-covered sofa and then moaning about how long it takes to wash the covers.

100X Yes seven is a bit young. I didn't start paying for private lessons until DS2 was 11.

practice
practise

Yes, very like that. Also though, must add in guilt about having told toddler off sternly for having eaten said soft fruits on white sofa ....

ZZZ - it's like advise and advice.

I'd advise you to practise the piano

Thank you for your advice about practicing the piano

is that right Swedes?

Iknow
but I seem to always write it wrong
even though I know

me too

also then the whole doctor's practice bit confuses me too

I need to get ds in to a better routine re practising. He started piano in reception and frankly practising has been hit and miss. Sometimes he wants to do it and other times it ends up as a shouting match with me offering to give the piano away.

He started Stagecoach recently and that has given him more interest in all things musical so piano practice is getting easier. The thing that annoys me most is when he finally does sit down to practice he can do whatever he has to do very easily indeed. I just wish I didn't have to do all the chivvying in the first place.

thank you for your advice about practising the piano

see what I mean? Seems to be a blockage somewhere, we all know but we don't do it anyway.

I couldn't fit in practice with two instruments.

I really couldn't get the motivation together as a parent to be on top of it

would have to be something dead easy - tambourine possibly

practice/practise confusion makes me feel anxious. I know it's Solicitors' Practice Rules other than that?

ZZ LOL at tambourine.

ds1 showed no inlination for music so I managed to resist pushing him into it.

Must work must work.

Right, I've ordered the sax stand (tick)

I'm liking the idea of morning practice... would have to distract DS2 (7) who normally bugs DS1 at this time though....