Disinterested 8 yr old

[shera67]

Hi, I'm new to Mumsnet so please forgive me if I have posted in the wrong place.

My son is 8 and coming to the end of Year 3 -the problem I have with him is that he is totally disinterested in his school work. I have spoken to his teacher several times and they say he is very bright but not productive during lessons. He would rather gaze out of the window or chat than do his lessons which is resulting in him producing work that is not as good as he is capable of. The annoying thing is he can do the work if he concentrates, he whizzes through his homework with no problem yet he cannot produce the same quality of work in class. I am worried he is going to lose all interest in education if this is not addressed. Help please!

Thanks and sorry it was so long

I have one of those - he very quickly loses concentration and drifts off into staring into space. He is bright but is behind on maths and spelling mainly because he was not concentrating when they did it in class ! The teacher has my sympathy because it is not easy to keep him focused - but it is what they are supposed to be trained for - so you need to lean on them a bit to get them to do it.

I would have a meeting with the teacher and discuss ways in stimulating his interest. The school is supposed to give him the chance to reach his potential - and it sounds like they are missing that. So - have a constructive meeting (or series of meetings) with the teacher to help keep her mind focused on keeping him interested (I am so glad I am not a teacher !!).

Your DS sounds just like mine and several others in his class. We have had several fruitless discussions with our DS's teachers over the years. Our impressiion is that our DS just isn't a priority - he is meeting "targets" (albeit teacher says he is capable of much more) and doesn't disrupt the class. Like your DS, he simply "switches off". However, on the rare occasion he has a quizz or test, he is very motivated and does well. My DH sees this as completely normal - why make an effort for the sake of it? Maybe male brains can only focus if there is a clear objective! Perhaps, it is the lack of competition and/ or tests in our schools which is preventing our DSs from engaging? I'm hoping someone will come on with some concrete suggestions as to how to get our boys to focus!

it sounds like for a least a subset of boys the current teaching methods do little to engage them.

I know my 8 year old can really get into something and concentrate and come up with some really good ideas - but that rarely happens in the school room - and as far as I can tell his teacher (who has taught him for nearly 2 years) has completely failed to recognise that he has any ability.

He is quiet and not disruptive so tends to get left to his own devices - which tends to be gazing into space.

I think boys (they are what I know having 3, can't comment overly on girls) - really need more practical teaching - more thinking while doing rather than trying to tackle abstract ideas. You hear that boys are falling behind girls in school - and I think it starts really early because often it is not approached in a boy friendly way so they lose interest and then they lose confidence because they can't do what the teacher thinks they should be able to (and some of their peers can do easily).

The trick (not an easy one) that many teachers seem to be missing it to keep them interested.

Dd has a similar experience tbh so I don't think it's necessarily a boy thing. She engages if the subject really interests her, science or literacy. It is partly down to the enthusiasm of the teacher, perhaps he will be happier next year with a different teacher.

Is he doing any extension work at all? Have you asked his teacher if he is capable of doing extension work? If so then suggest to him that if he races through his 'normal' work he may find the extension work is much more interesting and challenging for him.

Have you aksed him why he gets distracted? What does he really knuckle down and enjoy doing? Could he be moved to sit next to another child that might encourage him to be more interested in a kind of competitive way?

And by the way, welcome

I wonder if your daughter if more male brained ? If so then the same sort of arguements will probably apply.

I guess it would be most helpful if we could segregate our kids by the way they learn rather than any other criteria. Some do really well using current methods, and others are just left totally disengaged.

Will your DS have the same teacher next year ? If not then try and get a meeting with current and both teacher and express your concerns and get them to work out a strategy that you can all help with to get your boy interested.

Thanks for your advice - it's a relief to know I'm not the only one with these frustrations.

I think I'm going to have a nice long chat with him tonight and see what we can come up with.

Thanks again.

Me too I have an uninterested boy. He has been quite effective at finding out about home schooling to counter my arguments that he "has" to go to school because its the law - and found out about Summerhill too! Shows he can do it if he's motivated. In a really corny way he likes it if it is competitive or practical. This year he is in a class with a girl who is a year younger and nearly as good as him - that gave him so motivation! Beaten by a girl? Euuchh

[And no, I am not going to homeschool him]

I have a very disinterested boy, he is now 9. He pays absolutely no attention in class, would much rather stare out the window or chat with his friends or listen to other peoples conversation. He drifts along in his own little world, however could spend hours chatting to you about rubbish to get your attention. AND if you change his routine he falls apart. We are in discussion with his teacher at the moment considering if it is something we should be concerned about.

Hoping it is a phase.

As I was saying on another thread (cant find it now) but he has totally changed from a hard-working, intelligent, articulate boy to a whinging, complaining, stroppy boy, who cries in pubic .

Uninterested, people, uninterested.

Hackneylass - my DS is also an advocate of home ed. and, like you, won't even go there! Like your DS, mine really responds to competition and tests. He LOVED doing the KS1 SATS - I think it was the only 2 weeks of the year he was quiet and focused in class!

mussyhillmum may be we could put all these home-ed advocating boys children together to sort it out for themselves...

I'd love to have a disinterested boy. Mine is always looking out for number one

sorry did mean uninterested