We are just planning dd's 10th birthday party for next month, and have settled on a murder mystery. So dd goes to school on Friday, with strict instructions not to breathe a word to avoid spoiling the surprise for her friends.
Of course, she mentioned she's having this party, but remembered my words and tried to say nothing more. She mentioned this on the way home, saw my exasperated face, and promptly burst into tears.
Seems one of the girls had been mean to dd, and in her words, made her tell what was going to happen.
After this, DD added that this girl has been "mean and nasty, taking her friends away" and trying to get dd on her own to bully her. I estimate that this has been building up over the last 2-3 months, which would tally with one or two things she's said.
Took me an hour of patient talk to persuade the name of the girl out of dd, through all the tears, she's very frightened of this girl.
We've had a long chat, and it does seem that when on one occasion dd did the right thing and told a teacher, the girl retaliated later on in the playground, but this was seen by the teacher and stamped on quickly.
DD's friends have been good; one or two have also been picked on by this girl, who's dragged another girl-bully in also. Her friends are starting to band together, and from what dd has said, they've managed to distract the bully on occasion, allowing dd to move away.
I plan to raise this with dd's teacher tomorrow, but I've asked dd to also speak to teacher during the day and raise it herself, as I want dd to get into the idea of going to the teacher if the girl tries it on again.
I have spoken to the parents of the other targets, and we're all keeping an eye on this now, and passing info.
Are there any other suggestions? Any advice gratefully received! Needless to say, this particular girl is now not on the party list.....