I don't know if I am being precious or not

[BeingRidiculous]

My 8yo dd has music lessons with a tutor who comes into the school, all CRB checked etc

She had a lesson with him last week when the rest of the school were off-site for their assembly (they use a neighboring venue as it is a small school)

I feel a bit uneasy about this - they were alone together for about half-hour

Are there guidelines about this? I don't want to raise it as an issue if it isn't one

Tell me to get a grip if appropriate

hmm, i would feel a bit uneasy and so too may the tutor. is this the usual set up? have you met him yet?

Have you met him? Is there any actual reason for you to feel uneasy or is it just the thought of them being alone?

you are being a little bit precious- your DD will have to spend time alone with other adults at some point.

I haven't met him, but dd likes him and loves her lessons

I don't think it's the usual set-up

I feel I am being a bit precious tbh

I would feel the same, but that doesn't mean I think it's right iyswim. Make sure she knows what is not acceptable behaviour from an adult and that she must tell you if she's not sure about anything the tutor said or did.

I had a male childminder for my 3yo DS, and ashamed as i am, I worried myself out of my mind & I nearly cancelled on the first day, and I'm ashamed to say it, even checked DS's personal areas that evening. Turns out a male role model was exactly what he needed and he was a fantastic person. The best childcare I've ever had.

It's a tragic mirror on society that men can't play normal roles in kids lives anymore without us being this way but I understand exactly what you are feeling.

I agree with a littlebitbored, do the whole acceptable behaviour talk, but obviously not in relation to him, you don't want her to feel uncomfortable.

Didn't we all at one time have a male music tutor, swimming coach, etc etc. I never thought twice as a kid tbh...

Surely music tutor (if 1-1) is always alone with yr child?

My DS2 has piano lessons from a woman. Isn't that the same thing? I have no problem with it at all [puzzled]

Surely there was someone else in the building?

They wouldnt have left your DC in school with only the music teacher? What if there was an accident.

I dont have a problem with my DC being alone for music lessons but I have gotten to know their tutors.

I would mention your concerns to the teacher, if you have a good relationship with her or the HT.

I think you are being precious - and whilst I might have similar thoughts I hope I would dismiss them quite quickly as unreasonable. It's a bit off to be suspicious merely because he is a man - unless your dd has give you reason for concern

Thanks for the replies, I thought that I was being a bit unreasonable

I've done the same in the past about a male nursery nurse, until a few posters gave me a good talking to on here

I don't think the teacher being male is all that relevant tbh, but nor no I think you're being PFB.

I doubt the teacher would be thrilled if this set up was a regular occurence - don't unions warn against it?

Posted too soon - of course pupils should be able to have 1-to-1 music lessons, but it sounds as if the two of them were alone in the school, which isn't ideal.

Are you sure they were completely alone? What about the cook, the office staff, maintenance man, teachers who did not attend the assembly? sounds unlikely that the school would have been entirely abandoned during the day. Also what do you think might happen if they were alone in the school that could not just as easily happen if they were left in the room alone together which presumably is the usual routine?