School trip, do I make dd1 go or not?

[ShinyAndNew]

If not what do I do with her?

She doesn't want to go because she is worried she will get lost. Now we all know that this is impossible. The school would never leave without her. She is also worried she will be sick in front of all her school friends as she suffers badly from travel sickness. She can be sick on the way to the supermarket it is that bad. Travel sickness pills work brilliantly for her 90% of the time she is not sick after taking them, but still often feels nauseous.

Her whole year group is going so the school have basically told me to keep her off if she won't go because there will be no one there to teach her. She would have to join another year groups class which would be difficult for her and the teacher/ta. It would go down as an unauthorised absence because she is not ill, even though they have asked me to keep her home. Her attendance is being monitored because she had a lot of illness/medical appointments last year.

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Could you go as a parent helper? Then she might not feel so nervous - she'd know that someone was there to look out for her and would definitely notice if she went missing.

Alternatively, you could tell her that you will go and pick her up at any time of the day if she needs it, and just to ask the teacher to call you?

Could you not offer to go as a parent helper so that you could allay her fears? It is a shame to miss out on a trip that everyone else is going on and like most things cannot be avoided forever.

No I am working that day, so I can't go. But I can arrange to have some one collect her if needs be.

Have you talked to her teacher about her concerns? She might take reassurance better from the teacher than from you?

You probably can't force her, but IIWY I would do my absolutely utmost to convince her by any means possible as this is a bridge she really is going to have to cross sometime.

Other reasons she has given for not wanting to go is that she is allowed to take a camera and she still has a 'baby' camera, her friends have 'big girl' ones and I never give her as much money as her friends.

I have offered to buy her a disposable camera and I always give her the max amount of money that she is allowed to take.

Can you tell her that someone will go and get her?

What about a special friend from her class who stays with her all day? It needn't be anything special, just that she knows that people are looking out for her.

Is there a nice teacher/TA who she likes going on the trip? If there is, then maybe they could be nominated to keep a special eye on her to make sure she doesn't get lost?

Does it help her if she sits at the front of the coach to stop her being travel sick? You could ask the teacher whether she could have 'reserved' seats so that she doesn't have to sit at the back?

Where is the trip to?

What are the cameras that her friends have?

It sounds to me, sorry if I'm wrong, that she's clutching at straws there for reasons why she doesn't want to go.

reading through the lines, I would guess that she has no friends in her class, that her friends are in another year group and won't be there, and she can't bare a whole day of sitting alone.

i'm projecting hugely, because this is EXACTLY what was going on with me when I was 10!

It would be good for her to go...that is how she is more likely to make friendhips. It will give her the message that she can't always opt out of things because she doesn't want to do it.

friendships*

She has a small group of three friends all in her year group who she is very close to. Too close to at times the school thinks.

Pixie, I doubt her friends have more than v cheap digital cameras or disposables. They have more money than us, but they are not spoilt. She is going to Beamish. Yes, some one could pick her up.