Is there any point in me going to these parenting classes ?

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, my 5 year old daughter is the only child in her class (possibly the whole school) with SEN's.
We had an open day recently with an Ed psych who runs parenting classes at her house. I put my name down to go, and so did most of the other mums.
I thought it would be good to get some tips on how to handle dificult situations etc. The more I think about it though, I don't think it'll be relevant to me or my daughter. I don't particulaly want the other parents to know about all her problems and how hard they are to handle.
On the open day, one of the mums who's child is very bright just wouldn't stop talking and no one else got a word in edgeways. She's comming on the corse too.
I'm a bit worried that hearing about other peoples children in the same class will really make it hit home how far behind my daughter is.
I'd like to think it'd be a positive experience, but I think it might make me feel very alone.

bump

I think an ed psych will be the perfect person to keep everyone in order and stop someone taking over.
You should go, you don't have to mention your daughters problems. If it helps you then it's worth while.

Good. I know the corse is aimed at children aged 5-10, my daughter is developmentaly aged about 3.
There might be some good tips though, and I could use it in the future too.

What sort of course is it? I ask because when I was on placement at a children's centre I assisted to run a Family Links Nurturing programme. It's focus is on positivity, for discipline, praise and for nurturing the whole family.

The parents who attended it had children of differing ages and thay all had very different issues with behaviour and family life. All who attended really benefitted.

I don't know much about other classes, but I do know that these sort of classes help as they give parents different parenting strategies and a better understanding of their children.

You may find that people are attending with a common interest, to improve their skills in order to have a better understanding of their children. They may be really supportive of each other and you.

Sorry if I have waffled on a bit! Hope this helps.

Thanks. I hope it's like that. I don't want to sit there thinking, "I wish I could ask about that, but the other parents would be They have no idea she isn't potty trained, so I can't mention that, although I really do need advice.
I might try to speek to someone else about that.
I think I'd find it frustrating having an expert there to ask, but not being able to for feer of being judged.

It is a very small school BTW, and the mums do like to gossip.

Have you approached the school nurse about toilet training? They are really useful. You can ask for one to contact you at the school's reception, you don't need to tell them what it's about. All schools, even private ones, have access to a school nurse.

Still go, your absence might speak mroe than your presence. Only volunteer what info you feel comfortable in the group setting and maybe ask what individual support EP could offer. Your dd may be the only one with her specific issues but you may learn some more generally useful techniques. EP would n't be the best person to discuss physical issues with anyway.

btw did you get your trip - there was a thread wondering ?

I'm pleased cat64 asked that because it was just what I was thinking. Really really odd for an Ed Psych to run things from her own home.

Can I ask another question that I cant see has been asked?

Wouldnt an Ed Psych be a great person to back you up? In that, a little education of the other parents? You shouldnt be embarrased about your dds SEN - they are jsut part of her. If you ask these questions in front of them, showing that you are not embarrassed and happy to deal with things (iygwim?) then the answers form the EP might let them know that these things are 'normal' for a child with your daughters SEN...TBH I think this would be a better way to prevent the gossip that yuo think will happen rather than 'hiding it away'.

But then again, I have no idea, so feel free to ignore me!!

When I went to one I found that the other parents were very supportive and we found we could talk about anything without being judged. I don't know if this was unusual. I would give it a go.

Thanks everyone, I will still go. My daughter is going to see the consultant again over her incontinance. The school does have a nurse, so I could speek to her too.

LIZS- yes, we've just come back from our holiday. It was fantastic! We were delayed by 4 days, but we stayed with my family in Eastborne during that time which was nice. Lucy loved it and actually kissed a dolphin. It was briliant.

bump

Dear mll, I'm not sure why you're bumping? You've asked 'should I go', everyone's said yes, or given other good advice - there's not really much more to say, is there? fwiw it sounds like the classes would be a good idea and like pretty much everyone else I think you should be looking seriously at getting your dd into a state school where she can access the help she so clearly needs. You've been asking for advice about this for the entire time I've been on MN (about 2 years now) and quite possibly before that, and everyone's said the same thing. Does that not tell you something?

Your dd sounds delightful but it really doesn't sound like she's in the best school for her particular needs, however lovely and small it is and however cute the uniform

I was bumping to let LIZS know about the holiday.

I am going on the corse tomorrow, I think it might be helpful.
Everyone I've spoken to who have taken their children out of the school and put them into "Outstanding OFSTED schools" have said that it's not as good and there isn't as much support or they've been bullied etc.
I'm keeping her where she feels confident, safe and has lots of friends. She's just got an Ed Psych and speech therapist, so it's all good.
I doubt a state school would offer her any more, it would be impossible with 30+ children in a class all with different abilities.

aww thank you . Really glad you all had a nice time.

I'm not sure you're necessarily right about the state system though. I have a teacher friend with 2 nt boys at private school but 3rd with sal difficulties and other SNs in the state system. They fortunately can afford to choose which suits him best. Definitely take advice from the specialists with experience in both sectors locally and access as much support as you can but this will increasingly cost in the long term .

cat/mrz - I wonder if it's relevant that MLL's DD goes to a private school - i.e. this ed psych is running these classes as a private outside her job money spinner?

I disagree with everybody - I would have found it far too depressing to talk about behaviour etc issues when DS was so far delayed in front of parents of NT children of the same age. Better to be in the more mixed environment of the surestart centre (different ages of kids, different backgrounds etc)

Thanks TotalChaos sounds as if it could be the reason. Have to say as a SENCO I wouldn't be keen on the idea

The Ed Psych is the sister of my daughters teacher. She also has two girls at the school. The corse is free, we just take it in turns to buy cakes and 's.
Maybe the school pay her, I'm not sure.
She ran the corse last year, but I didn't go. A lot of mums have said how good it was and that they put in to practice what they've learned and it's really helped.

Thanks for explaining mll as SENCO I would not be happy with this arrangement I'm afraid.

How was it ? Does seem rather coincidental that the Ed Psych is so well connected to the school

What is her background. Does she get referrals do you think and does she work with children beyond that particular school either privately or for LA.