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Primary education

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Original poster

I'm not sure whether to be bothered or not that my CD will be the only non-white children in their school

31 replies

bran · 24/04/2010 22:19

We are moving to Dublin and have got DS into the school that I want him to go to, DD will also go there when she's older. It's a lovely school, I was very impressed with the headmistress. The whole school seems warm and lively and I think DS will really enjoy himself there. I know people who's DC are/were there and they are happy with it. But the school is entirely white, not all Irish but all white, and my DC are mixed-race.

My instinct says that it's only really an issue if I make it an issue. When I was at primary school (a very long time ago) there were only a few non-Irish pupils but nobody made a big deal about it and they weren't picked on or treated differently in any way.

Am I right to it's not worth worrying about now, wait and see how DS finds it before I worry?

OP posts:
Original poster
bran · 24/04/2010 22:20

Obviously I meant DC not CD in my title.

OP posts:
DreamTeamGirl · 25/04/2010 01:37

I think I would hang on and see, it might make no difference. are there any other options?

Conversely a friend's DD is in Leeds and is the only 'pure' (for want of a better word) white in her class and she was a little worried at first but is completely reassured now as her DD is happy as can be.

kickassangel · 25/04/2010 01:56

dd is the only english kid in her school, not a prob at all (until they go to world cultures, where they learn that america is the only 'free' country )

CheerfulYank · 25/04/2010 02:06

WHAT, kickass? I'd complain! I'm patriotic as all get-out but I don't think my country is the end all be all. It's just...home.

But as for the original question, I wouldn't think it should matter surely? It sounds like a lovely school and that's what's important. Give it a try!

mmrsceptic · 25/04/2010 04:24

Don't know -- my children have been extreme minority children and there has been unkind teasing, social exclusion, and conversely, too much attention.. the balance was all wrong. I wouldn't be happy for my children to stand out that much.

mmrsceptic · 25/04/2010 04:26

By minority, I mean on colour grounds, not nationality grounds (like kickass?), so it was kinda obvious.

kimbles1984 · 25/04/2010 04:32

i dont know, my own instict is that it shouldnt matter, and that kids dont notice....but i was recently offered a house in a predominantly asian neighbourhood and i turned it down as my kids would be the "odd ones out" i know my kids wouldnt notice, but if others mentioned it, they would be sad. My friends dd is the only mixed race child in her school, and has never given it another thought so maybe we give it more thought than our children?

primarymum · 25/04/2010 09:06

We have one child of asian origin in our school. Quite frankly the other children don't care a hoot what colour he is, the only ones that have any problems are the parents ( with the "does he eat the same food as you do?" type of ignorance ) You might find that initially the children are curious about any perceived differences-the why is your skin brown? type of questions-but this soon stopped and we have NEVER had any negative comments, he is just one of the class.

kickassangel · 25/04/2010 14:36

cheerful yank i think it was more a case of badly phrased teaching was then misunderstood.

they were discussing the american revolution (or war of independence, depending where you grew up) & i think the teacher was saying that the US was the only country to fight for freedom against england, dd came home & said england wasn't a free country, on the US was. we kind of corrected her!

sadly 'world cultures' seems to be - safety in the home, how to draw a map (all from US maps) & US history, including, write a letter to grandparents to find out more about the past.

however, i go into a different class & do the US/UK penpal swap, just to correct the balance.

CheerfulYank · 26/04/2010 17:05

Oh, I see. That's one reason I'm considering home-schooling DS. I want to teach him history/other cultures from the ancients up til now, so that he understands where he fits into the world, not where the world fits into his life. If that makes sense!

bidibidi · 26/04/2010 19:04

DC attend a school which only has a tiny number of non-white pupils.
They seem to get on okay I do know of occasional off-colour comments - eg, where a girl was described by her skin colour when there was no need to, iyswim.
It was similar where I went to school myself.

I think that there is usually a lot of tolerance when there's only a few different children, because the majority don't feel any rivalry with just a tiny number of different kids. It's when you get large minorities that mega-friction develops.

Original poster
bran · 26/04/2010 22:49

Yes, I think I agree with most comments in that I should see how it goes before I worry. It is a really lovely school and there are a lot of family links with it which ought to stand us in good stead in terms of knowing the parents of many of the children who go there. The school is in my parents' parish and my DB went there. Virtually all the children go from there to the secondary school that the DC will go to so if it does go well it means he will have friends that stay with him through his entire school life.

When we first talked about moving to Dublin DS was worried about leaving his current school as he loves it so much. He has, unfortunately, had a bit of a rocky start with schools as he was miserable in reception at his original school so we pulled him out at autumn half term and moved him to the one he's at now. That's turned out to be a positive for us because I pointed out that if he was very unhappy in his new school I would take him out and find him a much kinder school just like I did before. I'll keep my fingers crossed that he does like as I'm not at all sure that I would be able to magically pull another school out of the bag at short notice if he doesn't.

DD won't be starting until sept 2012 (or even 2013, there is a notional cutoff date for each year but compared to the UK they are blissfully relaxed about letting parents choose when to start their child). I think she may feel the difference more than DS, she is not as extrovert and confident as him. There is more choice of schools for girls though, so I could move her to the all-girl primary school that I went to if I had to.

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SE13Mummy · 26/04/2010 23:43

My DD started Reception (in London) last September as the only white child in the class. Both the teacher and nursery nurse were black so DD was identified initially by other children and parents as 'the white girl'. Yes, it did bother me and it annoyed me that when cover teachers had the class they always handed her over to me without asking who I was waiting for or asking her if she could see her parent because I was the only white adult waiting for the only white child.

Obviously that's the reverse of the situation you're potentially facing but I suspect most schools are better at responding to issues re: racism against children of mixed-race, black or other heritage than they are of white British children because that's not what 'racism' is generally accepted as meaning.

We moved her to another local school after Christmas (we'd never wanted her to go to the first one but she was allocated a place there) where there is a healthy mix of children from all sorts of backgrounds and none are identified by their skin colour, language spoken or identifiable special need; the children call each other by their names!

KerryMumbles · 26/04/2010 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kewcumber · 26/04/2010 23:53

it would bother me Bran, but there's no sense borrowing trouble. If its the most sensible choice and a good school then you'll just have to suck it and see.

twolittlemonkeys · 26/04/2010 23:55

I think at that age, other children might be curious and ask innocent questions about skin colour, but I shouldn't think it'd be a problem. Just see how it goes and trust your instinct.

Hope the move goes well. Thank you again for the cot and the bedding bran. They are great and your children are gorgeous btw! (apologies for thread hijack). Hope the move goes well

thumbwitch · 27/04/2010 00:01

I would also say see how it goes before you make any decisions - I'm sure you'll find out soon enough.

When I was at primary school we had one mixed race child in our class (looong time ago) - we never called him race or skin colour related names but we did make fun of his hair because it was quite afro and not very clean - often had bits of fluff etc. in it. But no colour/ race comments.

Everywhere is different and I think it comes from the parents at that age anyway - the children just seem to get on with it.

CheerfulYank · 27/04/2010 01:50

Obviously, Bran, I will agree with whatever you decide.

sunnydelight · 27/04/2010 02:05

I know Dublin has changed massively since I went to school there many moons ago, but I reckon that in a lot of areas schools will be still be predominantly white. My sister's kids are in a primary that doeesn't have a single child whose ethnic origin isn't "white Irish". It sounds like you have chosen a nice school so you will just have to trust them to make sure race isn't an issue for your kids. Can I be nosy and ask what area you'll be living in? (Vagely nostalgic emoticom )

bellissima · 27/04/2010 08:39

Wasn't there some issue where most of the non-white recent immigrant children in Dublin were rejected on religious grounds by the existing schools and shoved into a couple of new ones?

mummytime · 27/04/2010 09:25

Bellisma - I have a funny feeling that was Belfast, but I could be wrong.

My kids have all gone to predominantly white infant/junior (to the extent I knew the names of all the non-white kids in the school when my DS was there). I don't think it has been a problem, not more than being anywhere where most people are of a different racial type. It does help that languages in the playground include: Spanish, Dutch, German, French, Swedish, Russian etc. So there are lots of kids with differences. So having some non-Irish kids should help.

I wouldn't worry too much, but I would prepare for some wobbles, teach them to be assertive and to know about your DP(?)'s cultural heritage. I do actually think in someways celebrating diversity is more important when there are few of other backgrounds.

Original poster
bran · 27/04/2010 14:12

SunnyD, I'll be near-ish to the the Carrickmines Luas stop. The parish that we will be in (Tullow) doesn't have a school so DS will be going to the C of I school in a neighbouring parish.

I think what will work in DS's favour in this school is the deep compulsion that the Irish have to define everybody that they meet in terms of other people that they already know. So, because my family is so deeply engaged with this parish and school, DS is more likely to be referred to as "X's son/grandson/nephew/cousin" than as "the foreign one". Hopefully that will give a stronger sense of belonging than if I move him to a school with more diversity but where nobody knows us.

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suitejudyblue · 27/04/2010 14:35

I remember vividly the first non white child joining my school, too many years ago to even count but nowadays I can't imagine it being an issue.
My DCs go to an all white school (just the way the catchment area is) but I don't think they would really notice if any non-white children started but I'm in England so don't know if it would be different for you.

CheerfulYank · 27/04/2010 15:55

Here in my little rural town in Minnesota we've only got a handful of non-white kids and I've never noticed it making a bit of difference.

One of the kids was describing a group of children and he said, "There, with the brown girl," and I was ready to have chat about that when I realized he meant the (white) girl wearing a brown coat.