Discuss...

[lovecheese]

DH went off on a rant last night, basically "Can't believe you go on MN, its breeding a generation of competitive, paranoid women. It doesn't matter what fxxxing reading level a child is on or what KS1 SATs results they get; what is important is that the child is motivated and enjoys learning, and the rest will fall in to place later" etc etc. I wonder what others think of this?

DH is a secondary Headteacher BTW...

I think your DH hasn't seen much of MN

I think that is life though and like anywhere in RL or on here you get ultra competetive mothers and others who are not.

why is comparison such a bad thing?

Of course, on many levels, your DH is right. If we OTT on the Kumon, the tutors at Yr1 etc. our DC will burn out. Also, it doesn't matter how many degrees, or what class they are, that any DC may get, if they can't get on with people, then they are not going to get very far in the world outside school or beyond school.

But, today you often, very often, need more than just one degree to even get onto a professional course (eg you need a masters to get onto a building surveying course, or to become an educational psychologist). Then there are all the professional qualifications that follow on from that. I was beyond belief the other weekend at a family lunch when I discovered that my uncle who is retiring as a successful barrister, did not EVEN HAVE A DEGREE. Double !!

Plus, and this is pure conjecture on my part, but is how I feel about myself: I am a stay-at-home mum, out of choice, and I feel it's part of my "role" to keep an eye on my DC's education and to support them in it, particularly in view of this future competitive career-market that I've mentioned. It's part of my justification for staying at home and not supporting the family more financially (and we could always do with it!).

Finally, I would say, that I meet many more like-minded people here than I do at the school gate, so it's also a great support when I'm perplexed, worried, interested or just !

I think your DH must read over your shoulder

I agree with your DH. He has the older DCs and so has the bigger picture.The reading level and the SATs results are unimportant in year 1-the vitally important thing is that the DC is keen, eager to learn and takes the risk of failing i.e. is open to new experiences.

MN is not influential enough to make a "whole generation anything.

I agree with squashpie.

Although I have to say....not necessarily re the SATs etc, but say, crawling..peopel go well little Tommy was crawling at two weeks and someone else says well Little Susie came out crawling rah rah and it CAN get quite ridiculous. there is little to NO chance whatsoever that at the school gate in 10 years Susie will say to Tommy 'you cant come to my party cause you didnt crawl early enough' or whatever, teething, walking, first word, tied shoes....

There is an element of competitiveness, but the only time we care about is the time we are in iyswim? In 4 years or so we will look back and go 'gosh we were just MAD to worry about that!'.

BUT education is a little different...

At 10, 14, 16, 18 etc etc no one knows, or cares, which ORT reading book they were on at 5yrs of age! It is quite probable that the DC with the string of A* was a late developer.

It is helpful to have an idea of how your DC is doing, so general chat is helpful-however there are posters on here who sneak a look in a playdate's book bag and don't like it is the playdate is on a higher level!!

Well I don't think it's really that bad lol
I think that most people on here might come across that way but are genuinely interested and concerned about their kids education. No it doesn't matter if a child is on ORT 2, 3 or 4 but it DOES matter if they are stuck on the same level all year, even in reception, as it does raise concerns in general over the quality of the education they are receiving. Lack of progress is bad at any age imo. I think for me, seeing that other kids are progressing steadily through has given me the motivation to question what is going on - I don't think that's competitive, it's just caring for your child's education.