year 1 boy very unhappy

[sleepyle]

Hi all

Am very stressed and not sure what to do. I have always thought - I am not worried how my children are doing (aged 9 ...and 5 ) as long as they are happy (and trying hard ;) ).

However, at parents' eveninglast week we were told that during a school questionnaire our son was the only child who said he was unhappy, didn't like school at all, did not enjoy his work and is not stretched by his work. The teacher is upset too and wants to help him. We are going to ask for a after ester with the new acting head and his teacher to discuss.

according to our son has good friends, he is generally happy at school or so he and his sister say, but we are quite anxious.

He says he only hates school because the work is boring and the children are too noisy while he is trying to write. He has been tested this term (not happy about that!) and he has a reading age of 10 1/2 and has gone from 'working to a level 1' in september to a 2a+ (whatever that means) in maths and english, so maybe the work is too easy, but I really don't know.

We don't want to push him or ask for harder work so he is bored when his classmates do other work or so he stands out, and really really don't want to overdo it with him.

Am stuck and need help, any advice?
Thanks

Hi, we had similar problem with one of our DS's. He's a very keen reader & has a huge appetite to learn stuff. He did not say he was unhappy at school, but he would be very withdrawn and quiet at end of the school day. He also complained of the work being boring.

We ended up taking him out of the school and putting him into an independent school. Now I'm not suggesting that's the right thing to do, as obviously not something most people can do. But, he is a changed boy since. He loves his school and comes home chatty and full of all the new things he's learnt.

I suppose my point is that my DS is loving being challenged and it is patently obvious to us now that he was really bored with the work before.

Your DS's teacher seems keen to help, so maybe it is worth letting them try your DS with more challenging work. Maybe they can do it in a way that isn't obvious to the rest of the class?

I think you'll find that there are quite a few children spending some time each week out of the classroom, working in small groups or even on a one-to-one basis with other teachers and that most children just see this as something normal. The vast majority of the time they will be with their class, in any event. So don't worry too much about your son being marked out by his classmates as being unacceptably different if he is given slightly different work occasionally - he will still be doing a lot of the same things with them, as the whole day is not made up of reading, writing and maths.

My ds1 has a couple of hours a week having some one-to-one time with a teacher and he loves it - he has really come out of his shell. Prior to this, he needed prompting to get on with anything in the classroom, despite the teachers recognising that he was extremely bright. I think he feels less like the odd one out now than he did before and has gone from having to be supervised to write one sentence to writing entire stories over several pages, and he is finally excited about maths again after a couple of years of being taught things he'd been able to do since he was two or three years old. He never complained of being bored, mind you, and always says he loves school, but I guess his behaviour indicated that he was daydreaming most of the time, or that there was some other kind of obstacle preventing him from participating fully in the classroom.

So, if you think a large part of the problem is that your ds is finding the work too easy and is getting bored, then don't be worried that this will mark him or you out to say so. There may be other reasons for his malaise, too, of course, but a good and sympathetic teacher will eventually work these out and be able to help. So try not to worry too much!! So long as he has a few friends at school and seems happy at home, I'm sure things aren't that bad, really.

thanks all

I am feeling much better now I have sort of said things out loud.

pipplippin ;-Private school is not an option - not enough money and not poor enough!! what you have said has helped.

rabbitstew- thanks, I won't stress so much about him going out or doing something different. He has been in a mixed class anyway - yr 1 and 2, but doing the yr 2 work.

I have written a big list of things to discuss with his teacher - just not sure which teacher he will have next year...

With regards to his behaviour, he is polite and friendly and hardworking but has started to get grumpy and stroppy. But we have upped his sugar etc levels and he is getting better.

thanks again