How to encorouge dd to read to me

[Acinonyx]

DD is 4 in reception and has roughly 2 books changed twice a week. They are changed when I have written in the report book that we have read them at home. And sometimes I can't keep up as dd is so reluctant to read.

Astonishingly, she is actually learning to read from no words beginning reception. She always cooperates with teachers for reading

I don't want to bribe or reward - I think that will backfire down the line. She adores being read to - but not reading herself.

The teacher thinks that reading comes very easily to her - and although I agree - it seems to me that she is very intimidated by reading. It takes a lot of coaxing and encorougement to get her to read her school books (and there is no effort left over for any other reading) and recently she has just refused completely.

I really want this to become a normal daily routine. Also, I need to build her confidence and enjoyment somehow. Help! How did you get reluctant readers to read without resorting to chococlate?

Personally I would back off for a bit and just go back to reading to/with her. The last thing that you want to do is to get any negative associations with reading. Maybe try some very familiar books so that she can 'read' along with you, even if she is just remembering the words. Or some rhyming books, where you can stop just before the rhyme and encourage her to jump in with the rhyming word. And loads of praise whenever she does read.

I do think that at her age it's more important to keep her enjoyment of books than it is for her to be reading herself.

We went through a very similar thing with DD this time last year (now in year 1). School send home a new book every night and we ended up with one very stressy weekend where DD refused to read at all.
So I went in and saw the teacher who advised me to back off a little that a lot of them go through this stage. She reassured me that sufficient reading was being done at school so that if it didn't happen at home it was okay.
After about 4 weeks DD settled down and went back to reading happily and we have had no problems since.

i was that child! i was a very,very good reader, liek your dd it seemed to come naturally and i did enjoy reading

but I also LOVED being read to. I was fine at school, but when I was at home what I really wanted was my mum to read to me. I can remember vehemently denying that I could read so that she would read Thumbelina to me! I would have been about 6 then

Maybe your daughter is the same? I would take all pressure off to be honest. If she wants to read to you then listen, but if she doesn't then don't push it.

she is only 4 years old, let her enjoy reading for its own sake. if necessary lie in the report book, or read it to her and write that in the report book

I wouldn't force a 4 year old to read.

I think my main concern is that they don't change her books at school if we don't read them at home even if she reads them at school. I may talk to the teacher about that as she keeps up fine at school. It's hard to expain to the teacher as she experiences a completely different, compliant child. Teacher asked me to get dd to point to the words as she reads - but I absolutely cannot get her to do that and she even slaps my hand away if I do it. But of course, she does it when the teacher asks her I think I'd like to see a video of this other dd who reads to the teacher without complaint.

The books she likes read to her a long way from anything she could read herself or memorise (chapter books, non-fiction) and I think this inevitable gap adds to the difficulty. That must be common though.

''if necessary lie in the report book'' I will keep this in reserve

Thisisyesterday you sound just like my 6yo dd who has been assessed at school to have reading age of 9yrs 3 months. She just will not read at home (altho these days I catch her sneaking a read here and there).

I'm thinking that I make story time too interesting and she wants me to read to her all the time. We're on BFG atm and I'm trying to coax her to read a page to me every couple of chapters but otherwise, I agree with other posters and think it's better to back off.

Read some fun magazines together; CBeebies website..... something she enjoys reading.

Your DD sounds a bright girl so this may not work BUT..DS was in reception last year and I sometimes did role reversal with him which he found very funny. i.e. I would read the book and either hesitate at words or say them incorrectly and then he would be the 'grown up / teacher' and correct my mistakes. Might sound a bit daft but it made reading time a bit more entertaining whilst still doing the job as they have to read with you to correct you!

Are you absolutely certain that your DD is a 'good reader'? When you have managed to persuade her to read to you have you felt that she finds it straightforward and doesn't have any problems with word attack (i.e working out what unfamiliar words 'say'). Is she bringing home decodable readers, based on the phonics she is learning or repetitive 'look & say' readers?

I don't for one moment want you to think that I think that your daughter can't read, but, while her reluctance to read to you might very well be because she prefers you to read to her, there does exist the slight possibility (whatever her teacher says) that she is finding reading difficult.

I certainly agree with everyone who says 'Don't push it' She is only 4 after all and a little delay won't do any harm at all. However, it might be interesting to see how she gets on with 'helping' you to read some little words which are not familiar from her school reading books but which she should be able to sound out and blend with the phonics she has (I hope...)been learning at school.

I wouldn't lie about her reading the books just yet until you are sure that it is definitely disinclination, rather than incapability, which is holding her back!

P.S. I must confess that I never had to go through all this anxiety because when my, now grown up, DS & DD were at school reading books were never sent home...

It's a lonely & boring thing reading out loud, and its a drag even as an adult. Feel your throat dry up and your voice droning, it's ghastly, especially after a full day at school or work: -

So I used to do fair turns of a sentence for me, sentence for DC, then paragraph for paragraph as reading improved. Much less tiring, the story moves along, DC learns to put a bit of expression in, no downsides really.Might be worth a try, as it shares the pain between you.

biddy - I have tried that. Dd is absolutely scathing if I ask her anything she knows I really already know. I've tried playing schools with her soft toys - and it worked for a few days. Except it was fantastically tedious for me as she made Panda read every word backwrads several times before he could get it right - I almost counln't stand it.

mazie - she's very good with phonics and is good at her level but very reluctant to try words that are more difficult. If it takes more than 2 seconds whe's off. She will make the effort at school though - she won't say no to her teacher and I also suspect she's eager to impress her. Both teacher and I think that dd thinks reading is difficult just because it involves some effort - but the effort is actually less than for a lot of children. I really don't want dd to develop the attitude that effort is to be avoided. In fact I think that is my bigger concern really.

Sometimes she will read some words from a reading book I am reading to her - but that has lapsed recently too. I will see if I can negotiate a deal to do that again.

I do read to her a lot - my patience does wear thin after about an hour. Perhaps I love the sound of my own voice too much

typos! - I am sober, honestly....

"she made Panda read every word backwrads several times before he could get it right "

I think that is so funny! What a clever girl she is. Didn't it make you laugh?

She sounds absolutely fine, in fact , more than fine if she is able to deliberately read words backwards!! I wouldn't push the home reading at all. If she loves you reading to her, understands and appreciates the stories and has a good 'literate' background she will make good progress on the reading she does at school.

Please remember that she is only 4. She has her own priorities in life and they aren't necessarily the same as the ones you have for her. Reading aloud to you is obviously not high on her list.

It was funny for the first sentence. After several pages, I was less amused. I like to think I can be patient when needed - but that really made me want to rip Panda's head off....