Taking children to Parents Consultation? Yes or no?

[siblingrivalryisrelative]

DS has his parent consultation coming up and this time we're allowed to take the children with us if we so wish. I don't have any big concerns about DS so don't actually mind him being there but is it really a good idea?

yes....has worked for us. why exclude the dc if its them we are discussing?

went to ds consultation yesterday,was good for him to see parent/teacher get together!

he's yr7

Do you mean in the school or at the actual parents/teacher meeting?

In our school children can come with parents but stay in the hall watching a cartoon or playing with legos or suchlike. They do not come top the actual interview.

I do not think I would want them to anyway, even if I tell them exactly what has been said. I think the level of concentration I need to 8nderstand every single point of the teacher could not be achieved if the Dcs were present in the room with me.

If your ds is in Y5 or older then yes I think it could be valuable. Our parents evenings usually consist of lots of dd is good at reading, needs to improve handwriting, needs to put hand up more in class, is better at maths than she gives herself credit (its the same every year). Needs to be more organised, needs to get dressed quicker after PE.....

For these sorts of comments, it would be quite useful to have dd1 there, although obviously if there was a more serious problem, then perhaps I would not want her there.

At Dc's primary the only time they let the children be there for the actually chat was when DD got to yr6, which had changed since DS was yr6.
In secondary they want the dc there.

Sorry, should have said, he's in reception so only just 5. I can see it would benefit older children but didn't know if DS would benefit from it - I guess if he hears from the teacher that he needs to concentrate more rather than from me then he might be more inclined to do it

In dd's primary school we've had the choice of bringing the children in from YR. Last year I didn't (because I misunderstood, tbh), but this year (Y1) I did, and it was actually really good - dd got a huge boost from being included in the chat. Though if I had a lot of concerns, I might have wanted time without her to discuss them.

Interesting to see its common to do that with older kids, I had no idea what would happen further on!

It's standard practice at secondary, and common at the upper end of KS2 in primary. As a teacher, I would say it entirely depends on the child. If a child has problems, then sometimes you might wish to say things to the parents that might demoralise the child, just when you want to be boosting their confidence. Alternatively, I have found it particularly useful when pinning down a slippery customer in Year 6 who was trying to pull fast ones by playing me off against his parents. He had nowhere to run once sandwiched between all of us!

At 5 years old, however, I would probably not take them along.

Depends on age and circumstances and what you actually intend to discuss with the teacher. I don't take ds (9) because I know parents evenings at his school are usually going to be about the school's crappy support of disabilities and he doesn't need to hear that. Otoh I wouldn't dream of not taking dd who is in secondary: whatever changes or targets are discussed at the parents evening are going to be more her responsibility to implement than ours.

When they were little I used to take them, as there were no particular problems to be discussed.

We take 7y (Y3) DD along but she does not come in the room. They are not permitted anyway, so she sits outside and reads ror does homework.

I think at primary, or certainly at this age anyway, there is no need for DD to be in their. We need to speak to her teacher and vice versa. DD's teacher talks about progress, etc with the pupils individually at other times anyway.

I think when children are older it is different.

Ours actively encourage it, we are after all talking about them. They start from reception, we get a set time to see the teacher so there isn't a lot of hanging around.

If there are issues to be discussed that the child should not hear then they can go back and wait outside or you can arrange to see the teacher at another time.

Parent consultations (hate that phrase) is about how your child is doing, and what they need to work on and aim toward. It is good that they are there to hear what their teacher has to say.