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Primary education

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Help Please!! My sons school is failing him.

9 replies

Smileeveryday · 25/03/2010 12:00

My DS2 age 9yrs has problems with his bowel, his bladder, has severe nut allergy. I tried to get him statemented 4 yrs ago, but his school blocked this saying there was nothing wrong with him. He was assessed for Aspergers, diagnosed, put in the 'grey area' as not to label him for life, again the school say there is nothing wrong with him.
He most definatly has Aspergers, but the schools views had an major influence on his final assesment.
Now, my DS2 is kept in most break times, as he has difficulty with putting anything down on paper. This makes his deeply depressed and violent at home. He has stopped eating.
He goes to school eats nothing, drinks only a small carton of juice 200ml, at lunchtime. He is dehydrated most days. The hospital have written to his school 3 times in the last 4 years stressing the importance of him having fluids. DS2 has visits the hospital every 3 months for his medical problems for the past 5 years. No one tells him to drink in class, so he does not, because of Aspergers he NEEDS to be told to drink. His School is making him ill, no one moniters if he eats or drinks. His physical and mental health are affected. The school listens but does absolutly NOTHING. Moving him to another school would be too traumatic for him. He cannot cope with change. Since reception class he has had a reading age of 12, is brilliant with music, computers, science, does very complicated animations, he is quite gifted....But his hadwriting is non existant he writes literally only a couple of lines very badly. He only does a 10th of what is expected. He has never written more than 5 lines of work, he has never completed any work in school,now in Y4. The school do not see this as a problem?? but still keep him in most break times?? My son is being punished for having Aspergers, I cannot get a correct diagnosis, while he is at his present school, as his school gives false information. The SENCO at his school has no understanding of Aspergers whatsoever. She said to me in a meeting, 'I can't believe he has problems he seems so bright'. DS2 has no comprehension of other peoples feelings, he has no real friends, he does not get invited to parties as he is 'different', wierd. He has no social skills, he is very happy or very sad, there is nothing inbetween. I have had countless meetings with the headteacher, I get lip service, no action. DS2 gets no help at all.
What can I do???
Please???Please, someone point me in the right direction for help and advice, my son is so unhappy.
I am at breaking point.

OP posts:
MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 25/03/2010 12:02

Would you consider researching the possiblity of home educating him? I know loads of children who have changed dramatically for the better when they've been withdrawn from the pressure of the school environment.

Don't dismiss it as an option if it's just because you think you wouldn't be able to do it - research it thoroughly if there's an inkling of a chance it might be an answer.

memoo · 25/03/2010 12:05

If I were you I would be looking into finding a new school. Not all schools are so useless! I worked as a TA in a primary school until recently and know of at least 2 pupils who had extra support from TA's because of being on AS. One boy in particular had one-to-one all day includig lunch time and playtime. There really is no reason why your son shouldn't have the same

Smileeveryday · 25/03/2010 12:08

It has crossed my mind, but I work part time. Home schooling would be a massive undertaking in time, commitment and finances. I don't know anyone who home schools to get advice from.
I assume I would get no funding to help him??

OP posts:
cory · 25/03/2010 12:13

There are two ways you can go down:

One is to do as other posters have suggested and withdraw him from the school, either to find another one (doing your research carefully in advance!) or to home educate. Yes, it will be stressful with the change, but eventually he is going to have to leave this school, you cannot protect him from all changes in life, and if the outcome is better it may be worth all the upheaval.

The second is to put pressure on the school- and that means threatening to sue them under the Disability Discrimination Act. If the school is punishing him for failures caused by his condition, without first having made Reasonable Adjustment to meet his needs, then you could argue that they are in breach of the Act. For an idea of the kind of situation where the act might apply, try googling Disability Discrimination Act Education supplement, and you should get some useful info.

Smileeveryday · 25/03/2010 12:24

His school does need a kick up the.....
When I explored moving school last year, none were interested in a child with severe nut allergy, let alone anything else. I have no energy left for a legal battle, the school should be sued. Other parents of children with statements and special needs have withdrawn their children and gone else where. The SENCO really is to blame. But they all close ranks and cover each others backs, rather than think of the child and what is best for that child.

OP posts:
MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 25/03/2010 12:30

Smile - there is a home ed topic on MN, under 'education'. You may find it helpful to read through some of the threads on there. There is bound to be lots of home educators in your area who would be happy to talk to you about the realities of home educating and what the local 'scene' is like - if there are lots of activities on etc.

You won't get funding, no, but there are lots of discounts to be had as a home educator, and there are ways and means of doing things if you decide it is the best for your son.

Whereabouts in the country are you?

AlphabettiSpaghetti · 25/03/2010 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smileeveryday · 25/03/2010 14:11

Thanks everyone for input. All valid points to consider. DS2 did not get a correct diagnosis from the Specialists ( throught GP and Consultants), because of the information that was given to them by the school. I will ask for a second opinion, but while he is at the same school, they will give back the same answers that DS2 has no problems at school. He does, and if they admitted it then they would have to do something about it. Someone then might realise that the SENCo is not up to the job!!!
I will write to the head insisting that he is monitored and that I get a daily report on what he eats and drinks and that his fluids are kept up.
And then, BATTLE on from there...
I will write to OFSTEAD and LEA as soon as my son gets some fluids in him...
Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
SE13Mummy · 25/03/2010 19:24

Not a great deal of help I'm afraid but to help improve your son's fluid intake could he be given a watch with alarm functions on it and when the alarm goes off have it serve as a signal that it's time for him to drink 2 cups/1 bottle of water?

I teach in a primary school and would be hopeless at remembering that one of the children needs to drink throughout the day (but I do remind them all to drink during lessons anyway) but because I know I'm likely to forget I'd come up with a system that would do the remembering for me!

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