when discipline alone ain't going to work, how to implement things that work?

[DidEinsteinsMum]

Ds' school have been involve in his CAF for 8 months prior to his start. They are aware of his issues and stated that they would be able to provide for his needs. When he started they claimed that there were no problems and they didnt see the need. So far in the last month we have had 12 incidents arising from the fact that they haven't implemented the strategies that we recommended. They have been escalating in nature to a point where it is very concerning. WE were supposed to have a letter home today. We have had no such letter. However, I did email the head to express my concern over the matter and request a meeting. As yet I have had no contact. I had to remove him from a nursery that did long lasting psychological damage because they failed to provide him support and covered up the fact that they were failing him to cover their backs in their ofsted .

Is there anyone who can offer advice. ds is right on the boarderline of asd, has real issues with change of routine and cannot interact with peers correctly - a fact he is finding incredibly distressing.

The poor kid is having a rough time at home whilst I try to complete a PGCE and through custody allocations. He is unable to feel comfortable at home so his reactions are coming out at school which is the other environment he experiences regularly.
It was agreed at the beginning of the year that information about disruption to the normal routine was notified in order to prepare ds and help him to use his coping strategies. This has not been done and with 6 major changes in normal school routine he has just gone completely off the wall.

How the hell can I calm him down and sort him out so that he is a happier boy and thus the behaviour settles down?

Hi dideinsteins mum, it's fluffybunnygonebad. I remember you from last year when you wanted some advice over this, I'm so sorry that things have not worked out the way that you needed them to.

Your first step that you need to take is to go into the school and discuss your concerns with them to see what they say, I don't think that there's really anything else that you can do at the moment until you have spoken to the SENCO or the head.

I know but getting in to see them is difficult. However, ds' dad pointed out that I am on holiday the first week they are back for easter so i intend to make an appointment for that week.

It is stupid because a few simple things would have made such a huge difference and prevented this from happening. He has now earnt himself the naughtyboy reputation which has completely stopped him forming the social skills that he is so lacking.

I am considering asking for a reconsideration of the ed psyc report that I wanted prior to him starting school. The issues that weren't addressed prior to him starting school haven't gone away and still need addressing properely (sp). I am cross, worried, very stressed (I have my own school related issues) and very concerned for ds' welfare.

Oh and the senco is his teacher and the parents evening report was as about as useful as an ice cube in the artic. I think it is why i am so pissed off as she really should know the importance of this and the impact not implementing the strategies have.

Has he been placed on the sn register/schools action plus?

As far as I can establish no. but then I haven't asked specifically and assumed that I would have been told if this has been done.

I am not sure that they believed me when i was describing what he reacts to and is like. What they saw when he first started school was very different to what they see now. The only difference that I have noticed is that he feels comfortable inschool and when he is comfortable in a environment he controls his behaviour less there but ew get less at home, when it is managed properly. Becuase his stresses aren't being dealt with at the mo it is having an acculumative effect and it is now completely out of control.

I need to get him out of the permeanant melt down state where the slightest thing pushes him completely overthe edge as he has run out of coping strategies and nothing is helping.

You need to work with the school in this though as you are not there with him when he is there, routine helps him so it's in his best interest if you both have the same way of supporting and dealing with him to save him from becoming confused. I'd meet with the head first and request that he's put on schools action plus which means they have to put measures in place to meet his needs. I'd also request an educational psychologist assessment, I don't know if it's changed though, I was told I had to see the GP when I asked for advice about this as it no longer goes through the schools????

I'm off to bed but will catch up with this in the morning.

He is under a CAF and I was told that an ed psyc needed to be accessed through the school by the GP around 12 months ago. it could be a case of different areas, different strategies, or change or left and right hands. Will book appointment tomo. Have good contact with gp so will go back and talk to him about the situation.