Moved schools in September and now unhappy do I move him again?

[oiseau]

We moved area last September and I started my DS in our local village school in year 3. He seemed to settle in really well the first term but the last term he has become more and more withdrawn and quiet and almost depressed when he gets home from school. He loves his teacher and academically he is doing well but the problem is his class is so small (just 10 of them) and he hasn't really bonded with any of the other children, people have been very friendly but they just haven't clicked. At his old school (class of 30) he had lots of friends and was really popular and I am finding it so upsetting when he tells me he plays on his own at playtime - he says "I don't mind Mummy but sometimes get a bit lonely" . I just don't know what to do - we could move him to a bigger school, and there a few different options but having moved him once already from a school he liked I don't want to really unsettle him by moving him again, especially as academically I don't have problems with the school. Any advice, similar experiences greatly appreciated.

I haven't been in your situation - when my dd changed school it was to one the same size as she left - but I think you have to stick with it to the end of the school year. Moving school so quickly after the last move would be unsettling. How hard have you tried to introduce your son to the local social scene? Have you invited any of his classmates back for tea? Does he go to Beavers or anything after school?

Does your son miss his old home, school and friends? Is it life in the village which he is finding it hard top adjust to, rather than the school itself?

Sorry, more questions than answers here.

Not much help, but we have always avoided smaller schools for largely that reason.

We have moved round the country quite a bit and our 3 children have gone to a total of 5 primary schools between them (2 have been to 2 schools and one to 3). The one that went to 3 primary schools was moved twice half way through KS1 and then when going into yr3. It wasn't ideal, but he seems to have come out of it OK and is now doing A levels. The main thing that I think has suffered from the moves is his handwriting as each school had different styles and he has ended up with just a dreadful scrawl.

Personally I would hesitate to move a child for friendship reasons if you are happy with the rest of the school. After 15 years experience of schools and social groups I have seen how transitary friendships can be.

Good luck.

I dont think its the village he says he likes living in the country and we have tried really hard to mix in, friends back for tea etc and people have been very friendly inviting us round there as well. The one boy he does seem to like, has said to him he will only play with him when he comes around to our house not at school .... Beavers has a waiting list so long he'll be in sixth form by the time he gets in .... He doesn't like team sports much otherwise we'd do cricket, football etc but think that would just add to the misery ...

We moved around when I was young and I went to three different state primary schools. They were all very different and I was less happy in the third because it was so very different to the second. (I went from a hippy primary school full of the children of academics to a village school in a fishing village).

I coped and was averagely happy in the third school. I do feel for your son but you need to be very careful if you move again that you get it right this time. Ask him what he wants to do.

I know people love these small schools but I think you need a few more people to choose from sometimes.

Greenshadoe - I learned three different versions of joined up handwriting!

My dd has moved 4 schools all different.

She's a very sociable child, but it has always taken the first year for her to settle in. I would not be making any consideration for change at the earliest until the end of the summer term, and actually would encourage him to go back, my dd has always had different perspective on friends and therefore time at school, by october half term, of the 2nd year.

HTH.

Just a thought but have you voiced your worries to his teacher. It can really help if the teacher knows as they can often help children to develop friendships.

I agree with other comments. If everything else is good I would stick with it.

Hope things get better for you and your son.