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DS getting mistaken for someone else, does it matter?

9 replies

RiverOfSleep · 23/03/2010 11:11

DS and another boy in his class are the same build, same colouring, same hair and obviously wear the same uniform. They get muddled up by one of the teaching assistants (there are 3 or 4 on a rota) and some of the lunchtime staff. DS is a bit shy so doesn't really correct people.

I've never thought its a big deal - the two boys are friends and the other boy is very very lovely and its not like they get each other into trouble. They say they are like twins.

However DS came home with his learning book thing showing photos of what hes been doing with written observations and what key stage it links to etc. Its really lovely. But some of the photos aren't DS - they're the other boy! for example DS is adament he didn't take part in x activity and there is a record saying that he did and he learnt whatever it was they were learning, with a photo of 'him'.

Would you a) laugh and ignore it (this is only reception) b) encourage DS to correct people more often c) mention it to school?

or d) something much better that I haven't thought of?

I never really thought it matters but if records are being made incorrectly should I stop being so lazy relaxed?

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SugarTits · 23/03/2010 11:13

I think you should talk to the school, it's important that his records really are his.

AMumInScotland · 23/03/2010 11:30

I would definitely mention it to the school - even if neither of them is getting the other into trouble, it would be daft if eg one of them was getting extra help with their spelling when it was the other who needed it!

It would also be good if your DS could correct it whenever it happens, but if he's a shy lad I can see that he'd feel uncomfortable correcting an adult. Short of dying his hair purple, is there anything you can change to make more of a distinction? eg lunchbox/pencilcase with his name on it, that kind of thing?

Whippet · 23/03/2010 11:36

DS2 used to have this... he has very 'common' features apparently

Can you find someway to distinguish him? A badge, different coat, slightly different haircut?

Also 'role play' with him how to politely tell the TA if he's being muddled up. Many children are convinced they'll get told off for pointing out things like this....

potplant · 23/03/2010 11:37

I wouldn't be too bothered about it if it was just the dinner ladies getting him mixed up but I would be very annoyed about his school books showing he did things he didn't do - especially with photo evidence to back it up!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 23/03/2010 11:53

I'm with potplant. Our dd has a friend who is the image of her. Same height, shape and hair. Luckily this year they are in different classes but for the past two years they've been together. DD and friend are pretty much matched cognitively, but friends first language is french. This caused a few problems witha couple of topics they undertook. One part of her school report spoke about DD's progress in ESL.

asdx2 · 23/03/2010 13:15

Ds had a child with an identical name to him although the surname was spelt slightly differently (no e)The times it caused problems were when the school (secondary) would phone informing me of a misdemeanour when it wasn't my son and the other child's parents had the same.It did cause issues of confidentiality and on one occasion my son was issued with an exclusion notice for an assault the other child had done purely because his name was first in the register and they didn't proceed further.I would wish that my child's records were his own tbh and would raise it with school just in case there are any negatives put in by mistake.

RiverOfSleep · 23/03/2010 14:04

Thanks all - I'll have a word with the school then. To be fair the photos aren't brilliant quality and DS is very quick to know which isn't him, while I had to pore over it examining the shoe fastenings to work out if it was or wasn't !

They don't really have personal belongings in school, I could start gelling his hair into spikes I suppose....

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Scrudd · 23/03/2010 14:08

Presumably as they get older, and as the staff get to know them better, they will be able to differentiate between them better.

In the meantime, if it were me, I'd be asking my dh what he'd been up to... ;)

RiverOfSleep · 23/03/2010 21:20

LOL @ Scrudd
He gets his colouring from my side so I think we're ok...
We role played tonight - he just kept being silly ie 'I'm not x, I'm y' when he is in fact z - but I think it might have helped him.

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