Boys and writing in reception

[electrofagz]

Right, I have just read the thread where a few posters have highlighted that writing stories in reception is a 'norm' in their dc's class. I am now panicking in a big way. I don't think that is the case with DS' class but I am pretty sure he is behind in his writing.

DS (Summer born boy) started reception in January - he is still not keen on writing. I try to get him to do a couple of minutes but it is a real struggle. He knows what the letters look like (tells me how to write then - for instance would say 'round, down and round the other way') and his reading is probably better than many other 4.5 yr old boys, but the writing is not happening. He will say the way in which the letter is formed whilst doing a frenzied scribble on the page and just doesn't get what is wrong nor seems bothered. His scribbles are enormous too.

I have gone down the route of concentrating on prewriting skills/playdoh/threading beads etc. but I am not sure if it has really made a difference. It is as though it is all there in his head but he cannot translate it into writing. His talking is fantastic, his physical coordination is great, doubt it can be eye-sight related as he has had his tests. Great at jigsaws too (clutching at straws here!)

What can I do to help him?

My DS has just turned 4 and is at pre-school. I was chatting to his teacher last week about how he's getting on, was his writing coming on ok (he can write his name, which is quite long, but thats it) and she told me that they don't worry about boys writing until they reach 7, can't remember the exact reason why - somehting to do with co-ordination development I think.

I know it is easy to say and hard to do, but I really truly would not worry about this. He sounds completely fine and normal. If you are truly worried I would speak to his teacher.

You can relax. I don't think a big thing should be made of reading or writing as it puts them off. Generally speaking, the ones with supportive mums, like you sound you are, just "get it" when ready. He's a summer baby anyway - the other ones in his class may be relatively much older.

Many are older, but not all, as far as I know. It is just frustrating that he is not really getting any better despite my extra input. There are a few kids in his class with parents who could not care less - however, they are self-motivated enough to want to learn for themselves - ds is not like this.

I know he is young but there is no way I could turn a blind eye until he goes into juniors - I am really worried that he is going to end up a non-writer.

He won't though. There seems to a point at which they all 'get' it and tbh ime all the extra input in the world doesn't seem to change it. You are doing everything right, the only thing I would say is I would really try not to let him know that you are frustrated.

It might be a bit late for that - dh was giving him pep talks only this morning. I'll back off, hopefully no harm done

All children are different and learn different things at different paces.

I know but sometimes you just don't manage to be philosophical about it. I just wish I had an enthusiastic learner rather than one who loves reading but hates writing with equal passion.

I know anecdote is only that, but my eldest only truly learnt to read and write at 8 and is now years ahead in her reading age from her actual age. She was being taken out of the class for handwriting and reading. Her school was brilliant about it, she didn't seem to notice that others were reading chapter books and writing 'stories'. It was so hard not to freak out and to just have faith that she would get there, but once she did, she just went WHOOOSH.

If you feel like you need to get a measure of how he is doing wrt the rest of his class, do book in to speak to his teacher. Teachers will give you a less rose tinted view of what the class are doing than parents!

I'm not for a minute suggesting anything is wrong, but I was a little taken aback that my 5 year old son was showing no signs of being able to read or write. Very recently, I found out that his brain is being forced down his spinal canal (it's a rare condition) which has put pressure on his brainstem to the extent his eyesight is so affected that he virtually can not see and due to the same condition he is dyspraxic and is unable to hold a pencil properly.

I have managed to take this in my stride. You need to relax (or be philosophical) and let him develop at his own pace. Really

I think that boys especially take a little bit of time to 'click' with writing and your little boy is still very young

It sounds like you are doing everything you can to help him with this but try not to turn it into an issue - you could well put him off if he picks up on your anxiety. Try not to show your disappointment when he doesn't want to write but lavish him with praise when he does!

My eldest son was very slow to get started with writing but now (in year 6)is top of his class in literacy.

I think sometimes, when they are very small, they can't really see the point of writing! We tried to get round this by getting him to use writing in a way that got results. e.g:

Write a shopping list that includes some of his fave things then go to the shop and get them.
Write on invitations for party.
Write a letter / postcard (I got several of my kind relatives to then write back to him!)
Write on Gran's birthday card and get her to open it in front of him showing HUGE pleasure and surprise that he has written it himself!

Might be worth a try

Have you spoken to his teacher? My ds1 who is March born in reception is absolutely loving reading but isn't at all interested in writing. However at parents evening last week I was shocked when his teacher says that his writing is above average and whilst he doesn't spend much time writing he will do it when she asks him to.

His school sets very formal homework and recently had to either write or draw a story which was a nightmare - he's not all interested in drawing either. If I'd persisted in trying to get him to do think it might have put him off homework forever. Is he interested in doing puzzles? eg my ds will try to do mazes, simple word searched, ringing differences in spot the difference puzzles.

I also think part of the problem can be that boys see writing and drawing as 'girly'. Ds sees dh reading but rarely sees him writing or drawing (or only writing on the computer). My ds is definitely more interested in drawing when his father does it with him rather then me.

Ds1, no bother, happily writing from Reception.

Ds2, different completely. Has only really started wanting to write and draw since the start of Yr1.

It has taken a lot of effort to relax about it!

He's now forming letters properly and holding the pencil correctly. He can happily write a little story.

Some children just take a little longer to get their heads round it. He very obviously didn't want to do it until he was ready.

The only feedback I have recd is that "he is beginning to form letters". Other than that, I don't think they get much 1-1 - it is more a case of the whole class crowding around a whiteboard and each child writing one letter of the short phrase with teacher's guidance. I have mentioned that he starts holding the pencil correctly, then forgets after a minute and uses his fist again but tbh, even when he is holding correctly, the writing is not emerging well.

He is quite bookish and has mainly girls as friends - not at all boisterous - so I guess I assumed he might enjoy it; it makes it all the more frustrating infact.

I am not sure how much conscious effoer I should be putting into helping him, but they bring home one letter a day and it is starting to seem really daunting

Ah he sounds exactly like my DS1, who is 3 and a half and due to start reception in Sep. I am sure he will be the same. He can write his name (badly) but has no interest in writing at all and can't even hold the pencil properly. However, he can read (simple) CVC words and knows quite a bit of letter sounds etc...he also recognises numbers up to 20 etc...I was saying in a different thread that he has trouble putting shoes/socks/coat on so it is in my case linked to fine motor skills - and confidence - ie the fact he is not able to do it quickly/well means he doesn't like to try. I think it will come, I am already saying to myself I will not worry about it until Year 1 when these things become more formal. As far as the short stories thing is concerned - I know there was one or two people saying this on here, but my DD is in a class of 60 (30x2) and nobody is writing short stories, yet it is an outstanding rated school and they get well above average results in Y6. So what I am saying is, although some schools might have kids doing this, it is not expected/the norm. If you read the targets for Reception, the average is to write a few letters with some meaning and anything on top is a bonus )
HTH xx

Hello - if it is any comfort my aug born ds (5 now) is still only really writing his name with any fluency and is fantastic at building lego masterpeices but not at reading (yet). Was barely writing at all at Reception and now half way through yr1 is making steady progress.

I have had panicky phases but at his last parents evening his teacher said he was being placed on the schools G&T list! Which shocked me rather but it goes to show that being able to read and write before you are 4 is not necessarily the only indicator of an able/ bright child... so do not worry do not push your son he will find his way in his own time. I have found pushing or pressurising my ds very counter-productive.

Be encouraging and praise evry mark that looks like a letter - he will get there and honestly the teachers will tell you if they have concerns.

Thanks - I know that it may be too much to ask of him at 4.5; I just don't want him to go into yr 1 in September and get an even bigger shock! I guess I am going to pay a lot more attention to those marks he is making and give him credit for at least trying.

I do know that writing stories is some way off and not all that common though my mother said that 2 of her 4 were certainly doing it by this stage of reception and definitely spent a good half an hour on it of their own free will.

I also question whether ds' inability to sit and do what I ask is proof of my crap abilities is effectively disciplining him. I have seen those mums out in public; who can stir up fear through a single filthy look - their dcs seem really desperate for their approval - I am right at the other end of the continuum there- my dcs would just laugh if I tried that!

Had the same problem with my son, who is now 8 and in year 3; his writing is fine now so it will come - I was told by two of his previous teachers that it is something to do with the way boys hands develop; apparently the muscles in their thumbs develop slower than girls so it make is harder for them to grip the pencil for long periods without it becoming uncomfortable. Thicker pencils helped a lot as did pencil grips.

Hope this helps.

It is perfectly normal for children NOT to be able to write stories, or anything very much, until well after Reception!

MN always attracts far more posts from parents of early readers and writers than average or later ones.

My DSs couldn't read or write at the beginning of Yr 1 but were achieving level 3 and 5 SATS in Yrs 2 and 6 respectively.

My ds is 9 (in year 4) and has only just, in the last few weeks, started to write with any kind of fluency. I had become really panicky with the realisation that he'll be starting secondary school in two years but now feel very positive.

Yes he has dyspraxia-type issues but I honestly don't think the (fairly low key) intervention he's had has really contributed to the writing side of things.

His reading has always been fine btw and he (for example) could ride a bike from 4 - his neuro/sensory issues were well hidden I think.

FWIW I don't think writing stories in reception is the norm.

Very much agree with others. I can't see that more than one or two kids would be writing stories in reception.

I think ds is probably fairly average at writing but don't know for sure. He can do most letters correctly but sometimes gets things like a b and d the wrong way round in writing. He has only just managed to do an s properly and can't always do a k. His writing is fairly big and he hasn't much clue about spacing words neatly on a page. Does that sound normal?
He can write a little note or similar but couldn't do a story - two short sentences would take up pretty much a page of A4!

The pre-writing activities that you listed are really helpful.

So is writing in lots of different pens/other media (can even be things like toothpaste, squirt bottles 'writing' on the pavement', etc.) - anythign that lets the child practise the shapes of the letters. It doesn't have to involve holding a pencil at first. And even when you do move to writing, it doesn't have to be small - lots of children just can't get the co-ordination to make the letters the size that they are being asked to, but if you give them a big sheet of paper, they can.

There's a programme called "Write from the Start" that has a lot of exercises to work on the flow needed for writing that can be helpful - lots of things like drawing spirals and zig zags and so on at different sizes, eventually working up to letters. I think it's by LDA publishers.

I've taught lots of R/Y1 children who can't really form letters well yet, but are fine in the end.

This is a very encouraging thread. DS is also a summer born in reception and can just about write his name but not much else. He knows his letters and the sounds they make he will point out letters while we are out and about especially if they are in his name but he is reluctant to write.

He is fascinated by cars, lorries, tractors etc and a while ago I found a work book about modes of transport. He was hooked, trying to do the puzzles etc. I have never seen him use a pen/pencil so much and with so much enthusiasm.

Is there anything your DS is passionate about?