Should I say something to the teacher?

[debs40]

DS (7) is undergoing ASD assessment at the moment. He also has Developmental Coordination Disorder. It is pointing towards Aspergers. The head of the diagnostic team (a psychologist) went into school last week. She had seen him individually once before and said she thought the ASD signs were very clear. This time she observed DS in school and spoke to one of his teachers.

School have been very slow to pick up on these issues. He looks like other children so why would he need special help? He doesn?t cause a problem, isn?t obstructive or aggressive. He must just be lazy and overdependent if he needs help. Intervention by the occupational therapist, community paediatrician and joint attendance on a specialist course with us and the class TA have helped.

My concern is that when the psychologist went in speak to the teacher, she was told DS doesn?t have problems asking for help (he has an IEP aimed at helping with this), always gets changed for PE first (he can have problems dressing and this has previously been noted) and sometimes chooses to play with girls (much has been made of late of his antipathy to girls ? for some reason he cannot cope with them and has lashed out). This didn?t sound true.

Anyway, DS says he can never remember choosing to play with girls and looked horrified at the idea. He says he has only ever been first for PE once. As for the communicating, well that has got better after months of battling with the school for help with it. But he has had IEPs addressing this for the last 6-8 months and is confirmed as having social communication difficulties by a SALT. The issues with PE and girls are documented in his home/school book.

What was the teacher playing at? I know school don't like outside professionals interferring but it felt like we were making things up. I am also worried that this undermines the diagnostic process as it contradicts what we have struggled to establish at school and why.

Should I say something?

If you think the problem is with the teacher you could always speak to the head. Outlining your concerns that the teacher, for what ever reason, does not fully grasp your ds needs and therefore will be unable to support him when the assessments are finished and a plan is proposed. However, be as delicate as you can because you will need the support of these people in the long run. As you already have the support of outside professionals, I think they would have a hard time proving you were making it up.

It's unlikely the teacher has seen your ds difficulties and is just choosing to ignore them out of bloody mindedness. Either she hasn't seen them or lacks the experience to identify them for what they are. It can be difficult in a normal class setting to observe children fully, so therefore the odd glimpses that she catches in undirected time may give her a false impression.

Having said that, some people are just self important idiots and that includes teachers.

debs, did the psychologist tell you that's what the teacher said? Am guessing that's how you know what was said. And what was their take on that? If I was the psychologist, the fact your son has an IEP in place shows that there are recognised issues, so it's weird if the teacher's contradicting it - a good Psychologist would surely question that contradiction. What's the next stage in the process?

Thanks.

Yes, the psychologist who heads the team (and who I must admit I have had to drag kicking and screaming to do anything) told us that the teacher had said 'DS is first to get changed for PE' - I mentioned this to a friend who helps out in the class and she stared at me in open mouthed silence

Also, DS apparently has chosen to work in a group of girls in his PE class. Honestly, that is something even DH can say - that would never ever happen. Why say it? Even if happened once. He would have a problem with girls being in the group. Let alone choose them to be.

The 'teacher says he doesn't have a problem asking questions' was presented to us without questioning despite his IEPs on SCD and a SALT report.

I have had cause to complain about the ASD assessment process here before and the MP got involved as the waiting lists are really long (years) and there was no help given to those waiting. Parents are given no infomration. As a result, I saw this psychologist under sufferance when the NHS Trust we're dealing with said they were bringing in another Trust to take over the lists but in the meantime offered us an apptmnt with the head of the team.

She said she would go into school to observe and advise.

So, we are still on the ASD waiting list which means we will have to take ADOS/ADI tests at some point b ut I am trying to get out of this area to a specialist service.

The psychologist clearly doesn 't want to get involved as was at pains to tell us how welcoming school were and how lovely the teacher was etc. Very unquestioning.

Maybe this is a problem with the psychologist more than the teacher??

I had similar experiences with my dd (physical disability): school insisting that dd had never had a pain incident at school or wet herself at school when I knew perfectly well that she collapsed several times and her teacher used to keep spare knickers for her. Selective memories, some of them.

It is easy to get confused and flustered when people seem to inhabit a parallel universe, but you have to stick to your guns and hope they will be the ones ending up confused and flustered.

Thanks Cory. I don't know why they do it. I mean it's not like I want them to make things sound bad....these are not issues for him all of the time...but they are issues and should be put clearly to a visiting health professional and in context e.g. DS sometimes has problems changing and is often slow but he manages ok even without help and was once first!

I mean why pretend it has never been a problem. What would the motivation be?