anyone with experience of a cathedral choir school?

[Snowybird]

I have twin boys who are seven; DS1 is very engaged with music and I took him along to a cathedral choir test in very hesistant fashion, mostly to get a professional opinion about his talent or lack of. The music director was very keen and offered DS1 a place. Now I have the dilemma of 1. moving house 2. uprooting DS2 (his twin brother) for no obvious advantage to himself, although the new school would be at least as good as his present school. On the other hand, joining the cathedral choir is a fabulous opportunity for DS's self-esteem, motivation and general personal development and it's really now or never since all the cathedrals are recruiting now, if they have not already done so. BTW we do not want to send DS1 into boarding and this is one of the few choir schools which is not boarding. Anyone with thoughts/experience? Is there any other way to get DS1 a serious musical education without going this route?

you must definately go for this its a unique experience and an honour worth doing for its own sake he can only be a chorister now many other life chances can be done say as mature student but this is very special special celebration of boys vocal talents and has been for centuries is twin def not interested? however,there are other music schools(including state)you ought to be able to get an official list somewhere i think theyre affiliated whatever probs may arise mustnt stop this opportunity playing safe and avoiding controversy doesnt alwys work either it may not work out but it may be amazing at least in part his twin will do other stuff but this may be his main chance to shine nothing venture nothing gain

ps i do have experience it wasnt all perfect but def no regrets in spite of that go for chances with your son not play safe dont break the mould

I guess this is really a twins question, doesn't matter so much what the enthusiasm is. Would anyone with twins like to offer an opinion?
Many thanks

Hi snowy bird, I have dts. I think I would not want one of my dts to miss out on such an opportunity. I would try to make sure that the other dt had other opportunities to do something he was interested in. Perhaps find a new activity that he can do on his own. Are the choristers treated within the school? Are they second class citizens? Good luck with your decision.

We just cannot see a way through without making ds2 miserable; he would at home alone with our childminder four afternoons a week while his brother had a fabulous time. It's just too cruel. So very reluctantly we are going to have to say no.

...unless a miracle solution presents itself...

We were talking about siblings generally today.
2 mums thought it was advantageous to send them to separate schools so they had their own separate identities.. not just so n so's little brother or sister.
Maybe this applies even more so in the case of twins? I guess it would depend on their age and your own values around this?
How would you, and they, feel about being separated? Would one twin mind making a "sacrifice" for the other one?
Then again, the standard of education at specialist schools is usually better than at regular state schools, so they would end up benefiting too? Win/win really : )
Good luck with your decision.

Just read your post above, what a shame.

Is there anything that he is good at or wants to do? You could get him into an after school activity while his brother is busy. Don't the school provide anything?

I know it's awful, but what if twin shines at some other thing in future and music one's 'chance' wasn't taken???it's awful either way, but think of it as a positive chance for one child, rather than missing out for other one- find out about music schools in general as well. As they get older,being'fair' is only going to get harder and harder- it can take all the joy out of things in a way,but you still have to take opportunities when they come

No, don't do that
Keep thinking for a solution, think around the problem etc etc
Don't miss out on this chance, it sounds fab

Have you talked it over with the school? They may have had similar situations before and have constructive suggestions. OTOH if they don't give a shit about your DS2 that probably tells you what you need to know.

It is a tough decision and only you can make it.

I agree with Grimma that it would be worth finding out how non choristers are treated as this will be telling.

I have always tried to treat my DTs equally but there will come a time when one pulls ahead and you can't hold the other one back.

Mine ended up in widely different streams at secondary school for instance even though at primary school you couldn't have got a fag paper beteen their abilities.

As a cautionary tale, I met a retired teacher recently who was still very bitter that his mother had decided that he shouldn't go to grammar school as his twin had failed the exam.