Would you choose a 'middle class village' primary over a 'town, mixed demographic' one?

[Flum]

If you considered yourself to be 'middle class'. THis should get a few of you going. I know the class thing always gets blood boiling. But I mean with the assumption being that the village school MAY expect to have pupils who may behave better, conform to rules eg be a bit more biddable and a more protective atmosphere perhaps.

Whereas the town school will have a more mixed group of kids from all walks of life,,,,, not that mixed if truth be told it is a VERY white part of rural England where we live.

Our nearest school is the town one. DH is very keen to move kids to the village one and I am not sure if they will get any benefit from that. They will all end up at the same comp age 11.

There does not appear to be a lot between them educationally and standards wise.

Would it be fair to say if you are going to end up swimminng with the sharks is it better to know em! Maybe there won't even be any sharks!

Opinions of any nature welcomed!

If teh town one is your designated area school, apply to the town school. Otherwise you will be driving/ busing your kids at your expense to a different community where they will be come friends with kids you live nowhere near , after school clubs will be tricky if your kids are in different years or have different interests and they won;t be able to get used to travelling to school independently before the move to comp at 11..

If village school is out of area you will be lower on the admissions criteria and may not get a place any way. Village schools have their share of troubled pupils too, and they sometimes are more noticeable in a small school, one disruptive pupil in a single class intake is affecting the whole year, not just a part of it.

I'd choose the one I lived nearer to.

I really really would.

I live in a middle class suburb of a city so maybe that's easy for me to say, but hey!

If I lived in the nice Victorian streets in town where a lot of my friends live, I would go for the nearest school to them - which is a lot more mixed in demographic (tho still I suspect broadly mc, thanks to my friends )

Yeah its tricky though as she is at lovely infant school now, then they all re-apply in Yr 3, so potentially could still mover her to village school then, but it may not have spaces then.

...... not sure I can bear to go all this heart ache again. She has visited the other school and seems fairly relaxed about staying or moving. She does know quite a few kids at the village school. I walked it today - 30 mins alone, 40 with kids at least!

Manners has nothing to do with being middle class. The way some middle class children speak to their parents is a disgrace. The politest children at my boys school are the Albanian and Romanian asylum seeker children. I'd go for the town school every time

At the end of the day, the responsibility for your children's manners will lie not with their school friends, nor with their school friends' parents- but with them.

My dcs attend an urban school with an intake which is mixed socially (though not very mixed racially). tbh I don't know what the behaviour of every single child in the school is like: I know, and my children know, what behaviour I consider acceptable for them and that's really what we need to know. School is also very good on clamping down on unsatisfactory behaviour, particularly good track record on bullying.

I've worked in both. The village school was terrible - the worst year of my whole career and I couldn't wait to get away. The very mixed town school, however, is fantastic and I love it. I would happily send my children there, but shudder at the thought of them ever going to a school like the village one!

My dd goes to a town school, although being working class maybe that is what she deserves ! Despite our class we have managed to teach her table manners, she is at the top of her class and is very well behaved.

I have to admit that I did not think about it and she just went to the local school which had a vacancy. I actually think it is a better than some of the local village schools. I am not bothered tbh she is happy which will do for me.

Tough one.

I think there's a lot to be said for the feel of a school - its ethos etc. See if you can speak to the teachers and observe the pupils with each other. Sometimes a good indication is how the Y6 kids treat the Y1 kids etc.

School ethos, class sizes, Ofsteds, facilities, clubs, diversity of pupils all to be considered - maybe other criteria too. Decide which things you and your DH value the most and that should decide for you.

Ds spent a term and a half in a 'middle class' school, I couldn't move him quick enough, appauling behaviour from some of the children (and a parent who spent three weeks at the gate trying to sell tickets for a movie played in the school so he could "educate the parents" ). Ds was bullied there aswell.

But your son wasn't bullied because the pupils were middle class. He was bullied because those children were unpleasant and badly behaved.

No, what I ment to say was it didn't matter what class they were, middle class or not (sorry, the phone rang and I lost concentration )

Opt for the closest school, the behaviour is bound to be the same at both schools.

I live within .5 -1 mile of no less than 4 town primaries...
Dd goes 7 miles south to a village primary
ok you have to buy the Joules sweatshirts...
But is good!
OP are you the original skibumflum?
If you are big kisses lovie!

i think I was skibumflum when I started and had a more exciting life,= now I am school obsessed stupid classobsessed mum.

Been on Mumsnet since 2004 though so I spose quite long time.

still having sleepless nights about it.

all my friends whose kids go to the nearest school are being really lovely and supportive and saying we should do what suitts our family and if a slightly more middle class upbringing suits us thenshould switch.

My husband v. posh you see, it matters bit more to him than to me.

but being in the same situation as you I'd say that they will have a middle class upbringing if you bring them up - school doesn't bring them up iyswim ;o)

what's the village school like? Have you had feedback from parents about it? It might not be as great as it looks, just going from my own personal experience.

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very drole thread
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I think it depends a lot on the cohort at the village primary.I have 4 DC and 3 have been very happy a a middle class rural primary of about 60 children.But the other one found herself in a class with only 4 other girls who were, unfortunately, very pushy and spiteful little madams.We have recently had to move her to a school with nicer children in her year group.
A bigger school can dilute the unpleasant children a bit , and your child can more easily get away from them.

Well the village primary is still quite big. It has 200 kids as most classes full and has a class for all 7 years. It is a tiny overextended building with v. little outside space. The parents are satisfied ok, it has a satisfactory Ofsted, used to be much better.

Our local schools are split between infant and junior so 150 at the infant and 200 at the junior. They are soon to amalgamate though in next 5 years.

The difference and the perceived benefit to the village school seems small to me so I am wondering whether it is worth rocking the boat at all.

Lou, were you always sad? Its not so funny on here as it used to be. When I was pregnant with my 1st baby I used to sit at my dry Chartered Accountants office literally p*ssing myself laughing at Mumsnet and I used to spend ALL day on it. No time now as STay at home mum and seems to be much more to do than when working!

Thanks for all your advice guys. My DH thinks I am literally going a bit mad. I just can't make my mind up. Everytime I plump for one, something makes me change my mind. It is like being on a seesaw.

Today I am for the town school. At least I know I DO NOT want to drive everyday so have turned down the Outstanding school 15 mins drive away.

Anymore views??????

Today I am for sticking with the town schools. The infant has Good Ofsted but the junior is only satisfactory. But the village school actually only Satisfactory too!

When I plan to move her to the other school my heart starts racing and I get all nervy. I think my heart is in the town. Going OUT to dinner with DH tomorrow to discuss and nail this as it is getting ridiculous!

Still struggling with this. I have the letter from village school accepting DD1 in Yr1 and they have room for DD2 in Reception in September too.

Have just gone over it all with my mother in law she said she would go for the one school together eg the village one as nice for the kids and it sounds eversoslightly better.

But she thinks I will go for the town as my heart is there, and it is.

I think that is why I can't bring myself to make the decision as in my heart I don't want the change. It is keeping me awake godammit and I have become a total school bore, it is all I talk about, think about, hot damn, move on girlfriend!

Ho hum, still not made my mind up. Keep going for the village school and then getting cold feet about it.

Would go to the closest school so the kids have local friends

From the perspective of a parent with much older children (two not even 'children' anymore!!), I would say the town school will prepare your DC better for, shall we say, the 'rough and tumble' of secondary school.

Mine went to the less middle class popular primary school in our region, which had a complete mixture of children there, and I feel their transition to secondary (and this was a grammar school, not the local comp) was better than those who had been in the village schools. Just my personal opinion though.

I felt it was good for them to meet a mixture of other children and it certainly did not impact on them academically. Obviously at the secondary grammar school, the mixture was/is not quite the same (I'll say it before anyone else does....)for many reasons, but that is another argument discussion.

I think it really depends on what your priorities are though.

There is a lot of prejudice going on against inner-city, ethnically mixed, state, call them whatever schools.
I believe they are good and they give your child a better ands balanced view of the world. Put it this way: if your child goes to a small village middle-class school, does it mean that he/she will mix and compete at work tomorrow with same type of people? Unlikely so. I am all for preparing our kids for realistic things in life.
Unless of course, a school has a horrendous result/reputation, I think more mixed, the better.