really upset by school letter advise please?

[fernie3]

my daughter is in reception and has had alot of time off since September due to illness.She started getting ill about a year ago after a bad infection that lasted for many weeks and sent her to hospital etc. At first the time off it was mostly due to repeated urine infections which she was off for a week at a time for on antibiotics etc and back and forth to the hospital. She was under the care of a consultant but was discharged from him before christmas as the infections were slowly getting less frequent. However since starting school she has also had a whole host of other illnesses such as chest infections, an eye infection and sickness bugs. The school have sent her home on more than one occassion.

However today she had a letter home saying that she had had too much time off ill and that the school had made an appointment for me to see the nurse and the family liason officer to discuss what they can do to help "increase her attendance". i know it sounds silly but I am so upset by this I just feel like crying, She is only 5 and I feel that she has been through enough being so ill so often if I knew how to fix it then I would and I certainly dont want to talk to the school about it. I have given them copies of all her hospital appointment letters and have called them each time to explain whats going on what more can I do?

I wouldn't annoy them, for a start. Go along with it. Let them give their suggestions for "increasing her attendance" and just nod. I must say they'd be very interesting to hear, if she has been so ill. I can't imagine what they'd come up with.

Aren't these letters getting a bit routine now? Seems half the world has had one.

Relax - the school have to do this. Really, don't take it in any way personally.

Attendance is something the Local Authorities are getting very het up about - they have targets, the school has targets, and if a child's attendance drops below a certain level then they have to trigger this sort of letter. But realistically they understand all the perfectly good reasons you have, and know that lots of Reception children get lots of bugs.

So go along, smile sweetly, listen to anything they say and carry on as before.

Completely agree with Hassled. It's an arse covering exercise. These days school can't just not bother the parents whose kids have been off through genuine illness - they have to be seen to be dealing with low attendance levels. I ended up getting sent a letter from Educational Welfare because DS had so much time off in reception . Nothing more ever happened after the letter.

I really think this is a routine letter they send to anyone who has been absent for a certian percentage of the year - I would take rainfatclouds advise....go and ask them if they would like you to send her in ill??

We keep getting letters home from school reminding us not to send in ill children and to keep them off 48 hours after the last bout of sickness, but at the same time, they send out letters to those who are off school!!
Seems a little contradictory to me.....but then if it helps to spot (and by no means implying this of your case) children who are being neglected/ill treated ect. then maybe there is no harm.....???
I really wouldn't get upset, I think it is just routine.

You could ask them if a teacher could possibly teach her at home when she is too ill to come to school but could do some work at home. Do it very politely but put the ball back in there court and ask what they are going to do to help you and your DD not fall behind.

Don't take it to heart though I think these letters are just routine.

It's a routine letter that schools have to send out - the LEAs are really hot on attendance and come down like a ton of bricks on schools who aren't seen to be doing all they can to up their attendance. There are parents who take the p*, and the school can't just send letters to them, or they would be able to say "Look at child x and y, their arrendance is as bad as mine and you're not writing to them!"

Just go to the meeting, show them all the letters, have a chat and come home again. They will sympathize and say don't worry about it, tick the box on the LEA form and that'll be the end of it. Honestly.

I agree. Ask them how they are prepared to help your DD. Ask them for homework / lessons to come home. Say she will enjoy having something to work on whilst ill. Ask them if she is behind. If they don't know, ask them to find out.

Any medical advice I would absolutely insist on coming from the GP / consultant.

ok I dont feel quite so upset now I will put down the box of tissues!.It sounds silly but I feel as if I am being accused of something which I suppose I need to forget about.
do you think it would be weird for me to talk to the family liason person tomorrow it does say on the school website that you can go and speak to her anytime between 9-3:30. I know I am going to be in a state about this until I know more about it no matter how much I tell myself to react!

honestly would I look weird to try and talk to her tomorrow?

Of course not! But you may not get an appointment at such short notice - particularly as you're not one of the people they REALLY want to talk to!

Personally, I wouldn't be seeking medical advice from the school. I would seek medical advice from a proper doctor, and educational advice from the school. SOmetimes I think schools forget what their purpose is.

The school nurse does not outrank the GP/Consultant. Since your DD has a GP and a consultant I would be skeptical about what value they were going to add to your daughter's health.

Keep the conversation about her education and talk to the GP about her health.

Think about it another way. Wouldn't it be worrying if they didn't check up on kids who had a lot of time off?

The school nurse isn't trying to outrank the consultant. This is a standard letter. Most children with a lot of absences are not under a consultant's care. The parents of these children may very well benefit from advice from a school nurse.

I'm sure the school means well. I'm just pointing out that their business is education and since this child has a consultant, it is best to seek medical advice for him/her.

I think it's a bit odd that the school is seeking to improve the attendance of an ill child and not ask how they can help support educate the child whilst she is too ill to come to school?

Again, I'm sure they mean well. But if I were the parent in this situation I would be keeping the school as my educator and the doctor as my health provider.

Schools have been set targets and they must achieve this to maintain/improve their Ofsted standing. Dd's school has been set a target of 4% absence. They achieved 5% last year, so as with all targets, it was raised this year. Some schools must be faced with having to achieve 100% attendance!

Also it is unfortunate that there is no difference between time off for sickness and skiving off for a holiday. The head of dd's school told me that this was because if holidays were banned in term time, parents would just claim their child was ill.

I have been on the receiving end of The Letter after dd had a run of illness and then I took her out for three days for a wedding . I was a bit annoyed though that certain families seem to be immune from any censure, and the school pussyfoots round them.

I've had the letter recently for DS2 because he has had lots of time off for chest infections (his attendance this year is hovering at 81% atm, in my LEA the EWO is triggered as soon as attendance goes below 85%). They told me that I could send him in when ill (he's in hospital on oxygen for at least the first 5 days each time!) and then they'd send him home. I asked how they would do that when he's on oxygen and nebulisers that they're not trained to give, and the EWO said I could go in with him as I'm CRB checked!. I told the EWO to politely piss off talk with his consultant and paediatrician and asthma nurse. She shut up after that. . Haven't heard anything since.