Having friend round for tea...

[SolidGoldBrass]

How do you start the ball rolling on this? I am at a loss. DS is in reception, happy and mixing well and I do think he would enjoy having a few friends round now and again. But I don't know any of the other parents, so would like to hear how the rest of you got this sort of thing going.

Lol, I expected you to say Spain or something

With tea is fine. Without tea is fine. DD is going to her friend's house between school and Rainbows in a couple of weeks, which will be all of about 35 minutes! You just need to make sure the other parent(s) know what's happening, so they're not taking a starving child home, or trying to jam a second dinner down the poor kid! If both have had a hot school dinner that day you can do sandwiches or beans on toast or something.

We've done everything from the playdate arranged entirely by note, text and phonecall (child was coming to MY house but I was the one to suggest to the mum we might want to say hello to each other first, as neither of us had a clue who the other wasy) to the first one with DD's (now) best friend where the mum came too as child had never been anywhere apart from nursery and school without her.

' would find a note from a parent I didn't know asking my child to go round a bit odd tbh.'

We've done this because I didn't collect from school and it wasn't a problem at all. The other mothers just rang me and we booked a date.

I would say just one friend at a time, and not for a meal. 2.5 hours is as much as -I- any of mine could stand having a friend over for at that age. I've never had any mums over at the same time, as I didn't really know the mums personally, plus a lot of them had younger children and they would all have had to come along too. They are capable of consuming vast amounts of snacks, ime, just to warn you. Some of them were extremely annoying, even downright rude, and I dreaded having them back. I often felt after 2.5 hours that I wanted my life back tbh.

Certainly even numbers. NEVER under ANY circumstances allow yourself to get into the situation when you have an odd number of children the same age in your house. This applies to ALL ages - including teenagers.

Yes, depressingly, I must agree. I'd thought we could do this a few times (and we have, on occasion) but it does seem to lead to someone being left out and feeling lonely.

Abride: what do you say in your notes that is successful? I mostly get blown off , no matter how nicely I think I've asked for any sort of meetup.

Kamer, you can't rely on parties as opportunities to invite children because

A) I have a child who has refused to attend any parties so far (not that he has been invited to many, anyway), and

B) in the huge scrum of waiting for DC to be released from school it is hard to chase other parents down (especially when I barely recognise their DC, much less which parents match up to that child) and

C) You'll need to give the other parent your phone & address eventually, anyway, so may as well start out with all info they might want to know (like where they'll have to go to pick their child up).

Find out who your DS wants to play with after school, locate their parent and invite the child and mum/dad over after school. It's a case of biting the bullet at first - and then it gets easier.

I organise a couple of playdates a week for DS (five), since it's just the two of us at home and they give me a break give him an opportunity to mingle with his friends outside of the constraints and structure of the school day.

We have three or four boys who come over now, and DS's "girlfriend". Some come with their parents/siblings still, and others on their own. Several of the parents have become good friends.

Oh, and I would assume that tea wouldn't be in the equation unless you've specifically asked if they'd like to come over for tea. I always make a snack and drink after school, though. We make tea probably for about half our playdates.

We've sent a note - well, an email - to arrange a playdate before. DS was desperate for his new "girlfriend" to come over, and he didn't know her surname or what her parents looked like. I managed to meet the dad at the school gate, who seemed keen, but was struggling with a younger toddler at the time. He mentioned his wife's (unusual) name, and I later found her email address on an email sent out to parents in the snowy weather. I apologised for getting hold of her this way, but she was fine about it - and I didn't know what else to do! We have since been to her house for a play and tea, and the little girl, her mum and toddler sister have been to ours for tea, too. I think you just have to go for it. The ones worth having over and getting to know will be friendly.