been told my 6 yr old will never be academic

[lilandbill2009]

hi
i would really like some advice please dd is in yr 2 and has been struggling with reaing spelling and writing since yr1.
when she started in yr 2 in september 6 weeks later she had parents evening and i was told that she was behind the other children.and if she didnt sort of catch up by christmas they were going to bring the educational women in to test her for dyslexia

well cut a long story short i have been told today that my daughter has a memory problem she does not have dyslexia but trouble remembering the words which is holding her back when i asked could they put her in the reading group i was told shes too old when i asked why another child was in the group she told me its to do with ages and she missed it by 2 months
she then went on to tell me that she will never be academic.......... i am at a total loss as what to do the teacher said that she is a bright child and cant understand why the penny hasnt dropped regarding the reading
i am so worried now and i think a couple of times a week extra reading with the ta is goning to help any ideas on what i can do

thanks in advance

Only 25 and already Assistant deputy Head! Then frankly she knows nothing. That means she's effectively been in the system for 3 years and as you say has had insufficient classroom contact time. Go and insist she is put in the reading group and don't take their excuses about missing it by 2 months or whatever. Also I would actually complain about the never be academic comment and point out that this is hardly supportive of a child. I would be fuming in your situation (finding it hard enough that ds is gaining the label of 'chatty').

Read to her at home
Read together
Let her read to you

All this will help enormously.

By maverick Thu 25-Feb-10 09:19:25
Do NOT accept any of the following excuses for your child's reading and spelling difficulties: While there may be one or two here that could be relevant, none of them are are reason for the school to give up.
Here are my suggested replies to these excuses.

• Your child is lazy / isn't trying / doesn't pay attention / needs to concentrate / lacks motivation

"and how are you (the school) planning to improve child's concentration, motivation etc."

• Your child spends too much time watching television / playing on the computer

"at school???? I hope not"

• Your child has emotional barriers to reading created as a result of your anxieties (Rose 2009 p21)

"so what is the school doing to reduce those anxieties?"

• S/he hasn't memorised the list of essential sight words yet

"and what are you doing to help her memorise them? Can I have them to procatise at home? Why does she need to know these first?"

• Boys are often slow learning to read

"and lots of boys are quick. What are you doing to help the "slow" boys?"

• His/her brain is wired differently from other children

"so you need to teach her differently"

• S/he's got an phonological processing disability

"and what is the school's plan to deal with that?"

• His/her particular learning style / 'intelligence' doesn't suit phonics

"so you'll be trying some other methods"

• His/her 'brain isn't well matched to a literacy-based society' (BDA. Pollak p131)

"so the school has to give him extra help, as this is the society he's living in"

• S/he's still at the whole word stage

"and what are you doing to move her on from that stage?"

• Don't worry, s/he will catch up -s/he's just a bit slow developmentally

"HOW will she catch up? what are you doing to catch her up? Other than holding the others back?"

• You have unrealistic expectations; s/he's just not academic.

"how can you tell?"

• It's because s/he's left handed / 'right-brained'

"so are about 1/4 of the class"

• S/he suffers from 'visual stress' and needs tinted lenses or overlays.

"which the school provides of course"

• It's because his/her diet is deficient in essential fatty acids

"that would be the school dinners, because I feed her properly at home"

• You haven't /don't read to him/her enough at home

"how do you know what we read at home?"

• S/he's inherited your dyslexia genes

"and therefore needs more help"

• It's because English is his/her second language...

"so are you planning to teach in the other language? No?, then get on with teaching him to read i English"

• It's because of his/her ''medical difficulties - constipation (!), anaemia, poor diet etc'' (UK Gov. LI16.Hewes)

"The doctor is dealing with those, the school needs to deal with the reading"

I think I got a bit carried away there, but I do feel very cross at a teacher dismissing a child this early.
The thing is, there is a whole range of abilities in any class, which may well change over time, but in the meantime, the teacher should have a plan to help ALL children learn at their own pace. To just say, she "is not acedemic" is a total cop-out.

• It's because his/her diet is deficient in essential fatty acids

"that would be the school dinners, because I feed her properly at home"

classic

Your child spends too much time watching television / playing on the computer
"at school???? I hope not"

My son struggled through primary school, speech was slow to come etc. I always thought he'd end being diagnosed with something as he struggles to remember things. He managed to get 8 good GCSE's and is at college doing IT.

Not being academic is not the end of the world, anyway I know people who were 'written off' at school for various reasons and are hairdressers, builders etc some with their own successful businesses. There are actors etc who are dyslexic too.

Try to relax. She's only 6 after all. Read with her etc, do what you can and home and encourage other activities so it's not all about education.

thanks again for all the messages it means a lot im off round the school in a little while to pick my dd up and while im am there i am going to tell her teacher, not ask her that i want the ep woman to come and assess her as i feel the longer they try and fob us off the worse it gonna get and the more she will fall behind...............ill be back later to tell you what happend so watch this space thanks again xx

Very happy to read some of the stories on here - my DS is in Year 2 and is missing a lot of school at the moment due to his illness, plus when he is physically there, is often "not with it" due to his medication. I had a big wobble for a while that he would never catch up or be able to do well at school, but maybe there is hope!

Dd got levels 1a and 1b in all her sats in year two. It just didn't click.
On leaving infants to go to the junior school where they had a whole different method of teaching and something clicked, she left with three 5's.
Last year she got twelve A and A* GCSEs and is expected to apply to Oxbridge later this year.
Don't let anybody write off your dd at 6 chances are they haven't found the right method to teach her nothing more.

People with dislexia are generally above average to genius intelligence. My brother is dyslexic and was made to feel like he was stupid when he was in primary. By middle school he was smarter than his science teachers. In high school, he took his chemistry final only to be told he had gotten the hhighest score on the exam in the history of the school. He is very very bright. But, he can't spell a two syllable word to save his life. However, with the advancement of the spellchecker this is not quaite as much of a problem as it was when we were kids.

Push for a test of dyslexia and don't accept any non-qualified judgements. Push for an IEP if they feel she is not where she should be. Either she is doing fine, or she needs help. There is no space in between those two possibilities.

hello everybody
heres what happened i told the teacher that i am not happy and want her to see the ep was told that the teacher has already put her on the senco list and was told there is a wait
sometime in the summer she should be seen by the ep and we will go from there i do think that it is an long wait but still a least she will be seen.

i also told her that i thought that her comment was out of order by saying that she will never be academic she is only 6 and i told her that she was struggling in yr1 and the knew and nothing was done so i told her that i blame the school for letting it get as far as it has she was not a happy bunny once i finished with her lol

i would like to thank everyone that replied and i wish you all the best of luck

Am taking a great deal of heart from this thread! DS is in Yr 2 and summer born - I am so fed up with being made to feel that there is something wrong with him. He is always around the bottom tables (along with alot of other summer borns)and now feel the pressure of what he will get in his SATS. I know that he is capable , intelligent and has good potential but resent that because he doesn't tick certain boxes yet then he must be abit slow. So I am hoping in years to come I will be posting my anecdote of how well it all turned out!

Of course the teacher should not be saying such stupid things but

FWIW

I was told that my son would never be academic.
He isn't.
Lots of very happy, well adjusted and successful people are not academic.

Not being academic is not the end of the world.

The 'my dad/sister/brother/nextdoor neighbour was told he was not academic and now translate Japanese while doing algebra and teaching the unicycle' stories are lovely.
But not every child actually is academic. And thank christ for that or the bloke I paid a farking fortune to make my replacement period door would want to be at uni doing astro physics

Back on page 1 of this thread 'nooka' wrote

'I also found dyslexia.org (although the site looks very different to the last time I used it) and the Reading Reform Foundation www.rrf.org.uk really good reading in understanding why ds was struggling'

nooka, I think you mean www.dyslexics.org.uk?

Yes, thats another good point. While its true that the teacher is talking rubbish in labelling a 6 year old, and that your daughter may well end up doing very well academically, if she's not, its not the end of the world.
Here's a slightly different anecdote: one of my younger brothers is dyslexic and was treated as though he was "a bit thick" in school. Truth be said, he is not academic at all. BUt what he excelled at was dance. He was the most amazingly beautiful, graceful dancer and he ended up winning lots of prestigious dance awards. SO I strongly believe every child has their niche.

Your 6 year old child is not to blame here. She doesn't read, and the school says this is her fault, rather than theirs. Your DD has not failed. Her school has failed to teach her how to read.

Who 'diagnosed' her memory problem? And what is the school's specific plan for teaching her to read? What method do they plan to use?

Also: Do you have any scope for homeschooling her past this problem, either part-time or fulltime? I reckon you're right and she needs one-on-one attention and will then come on.

Oops sorry Maverick - I wasn't sure you were around any more, otherwise I'd have said that it was you that helped me and my son.

I haven't looked at the dyslexic stuff for a while, as ds is really romping with his reading now. I had the wrong address for dyslexics site, but I seem to recall the Reading Reform one is interesting too (it's in my favourites anyway).

Your advice to get a tutor in synthetic phonics really turned things around for ds, he's still very terrible at writing, sitting still and generally doing what he is told, but he is a great reader now, Really enjoys it and gets through books he likes at quite a rate. He's currently reading aloud our bedtime story, something I would not have believed possible three or four years ago.

OP, getting access to the EP is great - it's usually quite hard, and waiting times long (I understand that they are expensive and in short supply).

choccypig...I thought your responses were hilarious and spot on. Reminds me of when ds was in first grade and his teacher pulled out a tv to show them some movie or other and ds raises his hand and says "but Ms. --- I'm not allowed to watch tv during the week." And then in second grade they were doing a unit on nutrition and the kids were all asked to give up some form of junk food in the house and his teacher just would not believe ds or me that we had no junk food in the house to give him. She kept saying, but surely you could give up potato chips or cookies. In the end she decided that instead he could try "new and unusual" types of fish. I decided not to point out that ds had probably already tried (and liked) more kinds of new fish in the last month than she had in her lifetime.....

Lilandbill, just give your dd lots of support at home and make sure not to let her feel inadequate because she isn't at the same level as the other kids....remind her what she is good at. As someone else said, make sure you read to her and have her read to you (I used to alternate pages with my ds). Let her pick what you are reading (with helpful suggestions from you, of course). And just try to ignore the teacher. I just kept saying to ds' teachers "please let me know what I can do to help you teach him, since you are the expert." It seemed to calm their blaming mom hysteria a little.

I dont have experience like others on this thread but making remarks like this about a 6 year old is clearly barking

I am in Scotland and therefore my son wont start school until he is 5.5 so at 6 he will still be very new to school life.. I would be mad at anyone who made this kind of assumption at such an early change