Schools roles is it just me that feels

[BITCAT]

That schools/some schools are taking away any rights of parents to parent there children. I was told i had to cancel and rearrange an appointment for my son for dentist work, (baring in mind he is in pain) because a school trip happens to fall on the same day..the appointment has been booked for several weeks and had the letter about trip afterwards. So its not as if i booked the appointment knowing there was a trip on that day. He has also been to the same trip with previous school so he isnt missing out that much and has told me he wants his tooth sorted out.

Hang on, a child of statutory school age isn't in school, the school doesn't know where he is, and it's 'snotty" of the school to make sure he's safe?

Give me strength!

agree completely with seeker - you have to tell the school if your child isn't coming in, otherwise they don't know! as far as they are concerned your child is missing

It's increasingly normal for schools to contact parents via phone or text to ask where a student is - if he/she is with parent, fair enough, but they need to be with somebody and somebody needs to know!
OP you need to continue to push for a satisfactory response to the bullying issue, otherwise you will always be resentful towards the school and more problems will arise.

To be fair, that text is a bit rude. It would get a sharp response out of me too. But then I would never get a text from the school because the only modern communication device they can work out is the telephone and they would call my home phone expecting me to be sitting there like a good little owman waiting for the phone to ring. I would get the message after about 8:00pm.

(sorry... excuse my rant)

Health comes first.

at coldtits. My ds2 (10) walks to school on his own, as almost all of his class do and he has done for several years. I would be horrified if school didn't contact us if he didn't arrive at school without notification. (If he's ill we phone around 8.30 am.)

"Please tell us why your child isn't at school"
What on earth is rude about that?

But they could have said "Your child has not shown up at school. Just checking that you are aware of this" rather than "Please tell us why..."

I do agree that the school should notify the parent if a six year old hasn't shown up. But, I don't see why they can't be pleasant about the enquiry.

To the OP, it seems you are very clear on what you want your son to do. He has been on the trip and therefore won't really benefit from it. He doesn't want to go. He needs to go to the dentist. You and he both want him to go to the dentist. Don't let the secretary wind you up. Just go to the dentist. But do tell them you are going to the dentist if you don't want a stroppy text.

Sorry to go on but the school does need to ask why a child is not at school. They need to record whether it was a sickness/appointment/unapproved holiday etc. And in some cases schools go out of their way to provide work to do at home in case of longer absences, so it seems fair to keep communication open.

Why on earth is "Please tell us why your child is not at school" rude? I am as ready to take offense as the next woman, but that just seems like a perfectly straighforward question to me.

And tomorrow there will be a thread saying "My child was off school yesterday - I realized in the afternoon that I had forgotten to ring in and the school made no attempt to contact me. I am absolutely incandescent with rage - he could have been abducted by aliens at the school gate and I wouldn't have known til he didn't come home" And everyone will agree.

Am a bit at coldtits post.

I thought it was standard practice to phone the school (or send a note in advance if scheduled) if a child is not going to be in for any reason.

I still think everyone is being hard on the OP though. Medical appoitments can not always be easily altered, that appointment was made before the trip was planned and the child is happy to miss it.

Hope your son's tooth is better soon by the way.

The EWO comes into our school every 6 weeks and checks the register and the late book. She matches notes and emails against absences in the register, and then signs to say that she's done the check. Follow up letters and home visits/appointments are decided by her department.
I think idf a child is not going to be in school, it's just good manners to let them know,as well as all the child protection issues, and what they miss.
But parents getting their knickers in a twist and harrumphing about it has been going on for decades.

It wasn't the initial text message that bothered me - t was when I rang and apologised for not letting them know Ds1 had had an appointment, that the secretary snooted "Oh, well, nobody here knew that!"

No, nobody did, and nobody needed to, IMHO. He's been at that school for 3 years and if anything I'm over protective, I'm hardly likely to send him to school on his own.

Ohhhhh. You had to be there, honest. She was really snotty, you can't put tone across in type. I don't mind enquiries about where he is, I just resent being treated like an errant nine year old.

I only got the appointment through in half term, totally forgot about it yesterday and this morning I was running around like a scalded cat trying to get us all to the ospital at 9am.

Of course the school need to know - they haev a duty of care.

And I bet there's something in the prospectus about letting them know if your child is going to be late or absent.

Nah, same old same old.
You were stressed and a bit disorganisd and blaming the school is better than kicking the cat. Because of course what they said was a prsonal attack on your parenting skills.

Some 6 year olds do walk to school Coldtits.

And some are walked to school "just this once" by their elder brother or sister who might see someone they fancy and leave the little one to do the last hundred yards by themself.

There are a hundred other possible scenarios, including truanting and ending in the extreme example of a notorious appalling crime committed by two children who were supposed to be at school but whom no one had bothered to chase up. Don't you remember the outcry about how these children were allowed to bunk off day after day with nobody taking responsibility? That is why the schools now have to contact parents if their children have not arrived, so that the parents can't say: "Well how was I supposed to know?"

I got a call the other day at about 9.15 when DS1 was off sick. I just hadn't got around to calling in yet. I wasn't cross at all, just apologetic they had had to chase me and pleased that they were on the ball enough to notice he was absent with no explanation.

I guess your school were thinking that you would take him to the dentist, then return him to school at lunchtime and they would have to find someone extra to look after him on his own which costs a lot.

They were out of order. If it happens again, ask them directly who will look after him if the rest of the form are out.

I know I have a massive track record for complaining about schools and attendance issues but I still manage to be completely about coldtit's posts. As in head-reelingly ed.

These are the people you expect to take the parent's place during the school day, to be responsible for your son and to plan for his day; yet you don't even feel you need to inform them that he isn't going to show up! And you think that's manners!? And that they should just shrug their shoulders?

coldtits Tue 23-Feb-10 23:06:19

"No, nobody did, and nobody needed to, IMHO. He's been at that school for 3 years and if anything I'm over protective, I'm hardly likely to send him to school on his own."

So you are expecting the school secretary to remember exactly which parent, out of all the ones that have children at the school, is likely to be protective of them and who is not, and who might usually be protective but might lower standards in an emergency etc etc. Who'd be a school secretary?

Bloody uppity schools and their caring attempts. They should feck off and mind their own business. This sort of thing makes me so angry.

Bloody school secretaries, they've not got anything else to do, why shouldn't they spend all morning phoning/texting parents to find out about every child that hasn't turned up that day. Parents have got better things to do than spend 2 minutes making a phonecall to school...

i was bullied as once i had spoken to deputy head other people came into the conversation and i felt very intimidated, i was alone and there were teachers and school nurse and someone else i had never met before. All trying to get me to move the appointment. And i would always inform school as soon as an appointment came up or if my child was ill..they have to check where children are because there are parents that dont send there kids and children that are left to walk on there own..believe it or not as young as 6..that may not make it to school..and we cant have young children..or any child either missing/maybe abducted, or playing truant and roaming the streets.

I think we may have to define bullying in this context.