Ds doesn't want to go back tomorrow. Help.

[Flightattendant]

He is nearly 7.
It's been a pretty hellish half term, lots of sibling warfare, me shouting and arguments.
He also got very anxious when I had an appointment the other day, despite my mother looking after him - he made her stay with him in the waiting room instead of going somewhere else or staying at home, and cried and clung to me when I had to go in.

He hasn't done this since starting school when he was 5 and a half.

This morning he came and cried in my bed saying he can't go back, he hates the 'system' of being told off all the time, and saying he cries in every lesson - not true afaik, only ICT!

I know he has a good social circle at school, was looking forward to footie club starting this term, and usually when I collect him he says it was great and seems carried away with laughing and having fun.

So am not sure what's gone wrong or how to respond.

Thanks for any thoughts...I would be oK to teach him at home if I knew it was the right thing but am not sure it is.

it wasn't all awful btw - we went out and had some great times at home too, but there was tension at times.

I wonder if I have made him anxious by shouting too much, or maybe because I have other issues going on atm and am focusing on some fairly serious stuff, some of the time.
He may be picking up on that.?

I think you are probably right about him picking up the tension at home and is worried about you so is anxious about leaving you. It doesn't really seem to be a school issue as such although he is using this as an excuse. Some cuddles and reassurance might do the trick.

I don't know how it works with attendance, but how about wangling yourself an authorised absence for a week/fortnight (go to your GP with him, explain that he's having this separation anxiety thing, and ask to get him signed off for 2/3 weeks while you focus on reestablishing his confidence and work at not transferring your tensions to him)

Then, during those 2/3 weeks, if there's a day he feels like going to school fine, and if there isn't, you've got the GP's sign-off for that period of time.

Reassess towards the end of the period.

Hard to make a good decision when school is looming, like, TOMORROW

hi Flight
I think the opposite of ommmward I'm afraid
I think he'll be fine once he gets to school and being away from you will take his mind off the tension at home and give him somethign else to focus on
Maybe you could arrange one of his friedns to come back for tea - that always seems to lift my ds' mood about going to school if he has somethign to look forward to

Agree with compo. He will get distracted with other things at school, and you will have the opportunity to catch up with thing and recover from the half term.

I would carry on as normal this week, your ds going to school as usual, you being matter-of- fact and breezy and affectionate. I think this only becomes a problem if he is still like this after a couple of days.

Flight hi there ,I think that you should carry on as normal and take him to school-perhaps find something extra special he can take and show his teacher ....and see how he gets on.

Ive read other threads of yours and I know you are concerned about your little ds but sometimes when we have stuff going on we kind of over compensate whats going on in their minds-maybe being in school is a good thing for him if your feeling a bit out of sorts.

You can always do fun things after school even if its only colouring in a colouring book with him,or making special icecreams.

Dont worry about tomorrow until its here.

def would send him to school, he wil be occupied and hopefully will be really happy to see you at the end of the day.

Have had to do this with dd, and always feel the routine helps tbh. It's hard, but sometimes they get clingy, if things are going on. can't fail to feel emotional, or insecure, just like we do.

Thanks very much everyone...I think I will probably just carry on as usual, he tends to have these panics late at night or early in the morning. He might be fine by tomorrow.

He already knows his friend is coming round on Tues after school and football club is weds so hopefully these will start to seem more real once he is there again and back into routine.

Does anyone else find half terms tend to be a nightmare? It's like he has to adjust to being around me and ds2, it takes all week then when he finally cracks it, back to school again!

never mind.
Thankyou again for all the suggestions, I have read them all and will think on't.

Flight my eldest ds is 16 and I still feel sad when half term is over,I always wish wed been able to do more stuff and that wed have had more family time