ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH ds is so frustrating!

[queenoftheslatterns]

he is bright, popular and funny. a bit too funny tbh. last year we had an issue with his nursery teacher who said that he was behind on his reading and writing. he wouldnt sit down to write and would instead prefer to play. we fretted about it for a while but figured that since he was able to read (well, recognise words) with dh and myself at home and has a great vocabulary with multi-syllable words used in the correct context we wouldnt worry too much.

he is now in reception and yesterday they were reading words. simple words and their names. if they got 6 out of 8 right they got a certificate. ds didnt get any right. instead he acted the clown and pretended that he didnt know. his teacher now thinks that he is massivly behind in development. I have sat down with him this afternoon and he has written his name, all the letters, spelt out words and identified which words are missing.

what on earth can i do? at school he acts the fool, at home he is quite studious and finds the "homework" set easy!

anyone at all?

please?

Erm ... He's in reception ... This is normal - it should be play-based at this age and I can't believe his nursery teacher said he was behind

Sound like he is actually a very bright little boy, maybe he is a bit bored at school? Surely they should be learning through play anyway?

phew, thank you. I keep telling myself that but its really worrying.

boohoo, he is very bored. tells me that he doesnt want to go to school, its "exasperating" the problem is, he speaks like this at school too and she hasnt commented on that!

I would be questioning the schools methods, whats with the certificates, its not a competition and it sounds more like your son is acting up because hes a bit unsure of what is expected.
They should not be expected to have tests especially in reception they should be having fun, thats what the eyfs is all about.

hmm, think you might be right. i have to say i wasnt too pleased about the use of certificates. ds is was one of just 2 who didnt get one.

btw, he can add and subtract simple numbers 2+2=4 etc in his head and that was only mentioned that he is the "top group" for maths when i mentioned it to her

My DS is a bit like this in that his writing is awful at school, I think he is too distracted by all that's going on. It's much better at home when we sit down and write a shopping list or something.

he is very easily distracted. have your ds's teachers said anything to you? how old is he?

shameless bump

go and watch Uncle Buck and relax he is in reception it is ok for him to be a silly heart and a dreamer. Plenty of time to take his academic career seriously later on. He will really be fine.

thanks, i just dont want the school to pigeon-hole him at this early stage. which is what seems to be happening.

another thing, they are on the oxford learning tree books, he has been reading the purple and green ones for a year now, but she gives him the wordless ones because when he reads he doesnt do the "D.A.D" sounding out. he knows it says "DAD" so just says that.

queenofslatterns.
we have had this problem although ours wasnt quiet the same as we didnt have a supportive nursery but one who told ds he shouldnt be read and writing at 3. ds was complaining about being bored, but allowing himself to get distracted easily and being the class clown. IMO the rep they get in recpetion does follow with them through the next few years unless they have fab teacher/end up in a class where the kids dont know them. so tis ok to be a little concerned.

We took the approach that how can the teacher know what you can do if you dont show her? Of course you are bored but then you will be if you dont try and muck about." Ds has settled down since then and is brining home certificates for progress left right and centre.

thank you, thats really reassuring. how long did it take your ds to stop messing around?

they make them know the sounds as it is very important for building on, is there any way you have have a meeting so that you can discuss your concerns and maybe get ds to show her what he can do when there arent any other kids about. School were sceptic about ds and his reading, until we were persistant about the fact that he hated the school readers they were sending home. they have changed the style and he is better. But he only does 1 or 2 a week (which he have arranged) and he reads the horrid henry early readers with me for fun. The ort system is very repetitive and ds gets into the swing of the pattern and can 'read' it without even properally looking at the book we stay clear expect some for him to read to himself in the car for long journeys.

i think we shall have to, i agree that after a while they dont even look at the books. how old is ds now?

just turned 5, but has a much older educational age, and a younger social skill age. he has a few ishoos with social skills but is a very bright lad whose thirst for knowledge can be exhausting. just glad it is now school that deals and not me having to do it so full on... It took him from about christmas to now and that is despite him being slightly bullied as he wears glasses and talks with very big words that half the other kids dont understand he has keyring key words that he has to sound and read but will happily define the words. he is a freak child in a lot of respects but is my freak child.... who is about to be shouted at for stupid behaviour....again parents evening coming up next month. it wil be intersting.

hope that you will get somewhere, but i would get him reading other stuff at home try an early reader for horrid henery there are quiet a few and lots of fun. sorry hard to type when being crawled over and burried lots of typos.

it will get better... good luck.

oh, and he also doesnt seem to like getting the answers right, eg:

me: whats 5 add 2?
ds: 7
me: yes, well done!
ds: i mean 4.
me:but you got the answer right
ds: no i didnt, i got it wrong, do you want to see my funny jokes now/talk about star wars?

hmmm, that v interesting. thank you again, you have really helped.

ouch - that is exactly what we have had. is he embarised that he is bright and wants to fit in with the others? or is he dragging behind ? Is he getting a lot of attention for mucking about and thinks this is a good way to go?

with ds we did the bribery for attention, ignoring - completely when he was being stupid eg with his i mean four comment- with i am not going to play with you if you are going to be silly. come back when you can tell me what 3 + 2 is then i'll look at/listen to/talk about... etc and walk away.

he is either embarised, seeking attention or very very insecure... could be any and it is something i cant advise as dont know your ds. my was insecure because of the nursery experience. but that was hard to figure out even so.

is your ds self motivating about learning? does he seek information and learning out or is he happy to go with the flow and if he has to?

ah, that would make sense. its v frustrating because his teacher wont fecking listen to us and i can see her thinking "PFB mummy blah, blah" he isnt self motivated at all. he enjoys reading but on his time and is very lazy about learning.

I am sorry to say that you might find it quite hard to get sorted in that case. the only reason it fixed so quickly here was once ds got over the messy about he drove his teacher mad for learning opportunities. It finally was an advantage rather then just driving me mad . With ds we did lots of fun learning type things. free musuems, re-enactment days and interesting information programs, but this might have suited him did to him having no time to be a child and wanting to be able to do and know what adults can.

I would settle for less messing about in class and let him progress as he will. make fun learning opportunities for him eg pond dipping. do it, then didnt we have fun learning about x,y z etc. I do this kinda approach for kids switched off to science, it works with some not others.

Could he be dyslexic? I am and was always very 'vocally' bright (if that makes sense) but written work was a struggle.

Also if you are used to being quick on the uptake then it's difficult to understand why doing one particular thing is hard, like writing, that other people are finding easy. It makes you avoid that thing as you aren't very good at it.

But it also sounds that he's already learnt that being clever doesn't make you any friends. Now that is scary! Could you take him to some kind of club where cleverness is encouraged? (no idea if such a thing exists, have younger ds).