Reception: My boy is 'underachieving' - what now?

[LadyOfTheFlowers]

DS1 is 4.7.
To begin with, we thought he had 'Selective Mutism' as he would't interact with his teacher or other adults.
He was 'disruptive' on the carpet and messed around with other boys during registration etc.

The last term in the run-up to Xmas he suddenly started talking freely to everyone and is doing really well now socially, making friends and participating in group activity etc.
He is not silly anymore and listens intently when the teacher is speaking to the class.

We had his parents evening progress whatsit last night and after getting a bit peeved his teacher was beating about the bush I asked her out right if he was achieving enough or not? She said no he wasn't and once I got that out of her, there was no stopping her....

'His attitude of late is not geared towards learning, he does not know his letter sounds, he does not know his 'th' 'sh' etc, he can't recognise numbers, he can't form letters correctly - he tends to just draw symbols and squiggles after one attempt to form the letter. He is not achieving what he should for reception year.'

After a few minutes pause and DH and I looking totally shocked at each other, she continued....

'Things are very busy at school and obviously very busy when he gets home too with the other boys being there.... (he is the eldest of 3 boys) when is the next baby due? April? Things are only going to get busier....'

DH then piped up to say that if he is coming out of himself socially then he is in fact achieving something and pointed out he is one of the very youngest. He can write his name which he couldn't do 2 weeks ago and he can infact recognise the numbers 2, 3, 4, 5 and 8. Not many, but he does know some.

I left feeling totally shite and guilty for having 3, soon to be 4 children as it is clearly my fault he can't do any of the things expected of him.

I went in this morn with the intention of speaking with her to find out what he needs to be able to do to be an 'average' kid and get by. She wasn't there.
TA told me he needs to recognise numbers 1-10, know his letter sounds and 'th' etc work on his writing.
Ok I thought, no big deal, but I can't see me being able to cram all that into his brain in 6 months.

Sorry for long post - anyone any experience?

She mentioned something about if he is still underachieving by the end of next term he will get 'learning support'.

What exactly does this mean?

The TA who knows him well (moved up from being a preschool assistant from DS' preschool class same time as DS) said she is currently doing some 'extra work' with 4 of the kids in the class but DS wasn't one of them.

What is an IEP? Individual Learning PLan??

Is the teacher new to reception?

No she isn't.

The TA told me she gave a similar report to her about her oldest son when he was in her reception class a few years back.

Also meant to say she told me when I picked him up that she had done some words with him today and he tried really hard which was good.

She didn't say if he did well or not, but that it was good he tried.

I would expect there will be lots of reception children who don't know "th" "sh" etc who don't recognise numbers and even more who can't form letters correctly YET. I would be very happy with a reception child who has settled in and joining in with activities.

I had lots of problems with my DS and understand how you feel. I think it's good that your teacher was honest with you, it's better than just ignoring so called "problem". Lots of boys start slowly, it doesn't mean that he would continue like that. You know him better than any teacher, if you feel he is progressing socially and in other ways, he probably is. The best thing is not to put too much pressure on him and not to show him that you're worried. It's difficult to find a balance, but may be you can spend a little extra time with him doing letters and numbers. May be some things he can do indepedently, like educational computer games aimed at learning letters and numbers, if you don't have much time. We tried lots of reading schemes with my DS with limited success until I saw a programme about Ruth Miskin and bought her reading course on Amazon (but it needs to be full course 7 stages). He is now one of the best readers in the class. Surround him with lots of toys with numbers and letters, it's a good investment, all your children can use it later, the same as books. Don't hurry him along and be prepared to step back if he feels too pressured. It might take some time but I'm sure he'll catch up soon if he is happy at school. Good luck

teacher was a cow for attempting to blame you for what sounds like an entirely NORMAL little boy and for daring to have other children.

Don't worry, his stage of development sounds fine to me and to everyone else on here! And as for having brothers and sisters, well, most children do. And if it helps, I had a teacher being snotty with me when ds was in nursery about him being an only child. You can't win...

Don't feel bad! the fact that your son has several siblings will give him loads of benefits. For busy think stimulus - all activities give rise to a variety of experiences; he will see the friends of his siblings as well as his own.
The conversation has you thinking, obviously, and perhaps there could be a benefit for some quiet one to one time and someone else in the family may be able to help with that. Or perhaps one evening a week a takeaway means you don't cook and can use that time differently? Car journeys can also provide some one to one time - perhaps singing along to a tape or CD if conversation does not come easily? Watch out for clues to any interests of any of your children. If a child enjoys something, then they will push themselves in that area. Perhaps family and friends have other interests the children could be exposed to look for such activities. It could music, or painting, a fascination with trains or different wildlife, of using materials to build (including but not exclusively the standard lego etc). Many children can enjoy taking still or moving images with to-day's technology. (My own grandson is a little older - he adored collecting the football cards and at first I thought it expensive - but by about 5 he had learnt all the flags, the 'foriegn' names for the country as well as the football side of things and he carried his albums everywhere - it was something he enjoyed talking about.) Later, when he was a reluctant reader and writer, we had the idea of him filming his own sports report. We did a trial 'take' and then he was determined to redo and redo until it was perfect. He researched newspapers for info, made notes and planned his 'script'! When he was younger and had superman pyjamas, we used video to record him lying across a footstool as if her were flying and then we superimposed that on some footage of the sky and treetops so it looked as if he were flying. He is so proud of these things, he takes them to show and tell at school, shows other relatives and all of this spurs him on. Another thing that really excited him was flying kites - the garden was useless on the day we did it - but by going to a park with a bit of a slope the thrill he felt when his kite swooped above! Again, a scrap of video means he can share this with others and relive it and it is almost the excitement of learning and the excitement of success that spurs on an individual. To video - lots of small mobile devices can be as effective as a full size camera, or still photos can be linked to look like a movie or animation. As they grow older, mindmapping is a visual tool which helps those achieve who do not want to say or write much!
nelletap

Hi,
I'm a primary school teacher...I left a year 1 class when I began my mat leave and previously taught in Reception.
I wouldnt be too concerned about his progress - it sounds like he is doing just fine. I expect children to get to grips with sounds like sh and th throughout the spring term, and then numbers 1-10 (actually, its numerals 0-9 but who's being fussy?!) are an ongoing thing. Most children dont achieve 'full marks' on their leaving the early years - average joe (whoever that may be!) achieves 6 out of 10 - I'm sure your child's teacher will share her records - if you ask to see his Profile there is no reason why she shouldnt let you see.
Also, if your son has had trouble with getting to grips with just being in Reception, how can he be expected to learn at the same rate as a child with no other issues?! First and foremost a child needs to feel safe and secure in his environment before he can learn - I should remind his teacher of this if I were you!!! Along with asking her how he is doing in the other 4 areas of learning which are equally as important as numeracy and literacy!
Best of luck xxx

Thankyou all.

AFAIK he is very competent in physical things like PE and has fantastic balance etc and is very confident.

He can draw ok, not as well as some of the other kids work I have seen, but this seems to have come on leaps and bounds recently. His people didn't look anything like people, suddenly he draws Daddy and I and we have faces with eyes, nose, mouth and bodies with arms and legs.

He is terribly proud of the fact he can write 'LOL' and can spell it out.

He is fascinated with bugs etc and looking at information books about bugs, animals, diggers etc.

WE shared a book the other day and he does know quite a few letter sounds. He said to me 'I CAN do it Mum' and grinned and I replied 'I know you can, we just need to show your teacher' , 'Yes!' he said.

He recognises most of the numbers but not all - I think he is an 'average Joe' and that's fine. I just want him to get by and was worried about him being teased as he got older - I was teased at school for different reasons but witnessed the ridicule of other kids who needed more support and it was horrific. He is quite sensitive and I don't think he would bounce back as well as some personalities might.

I have found all of the posts here very reassuring, so thanks again.

at the teacher, as per what everyone else has said (could quote you several younger children in dd1's class who are now v good readers a year later, who could have been your ds a year ago: normal, normal!) and at your ds, who sounds adorable.

And at you, because you're encouraging and supporting him beautifully. Congrats on the forthcoming new baby!

madamdeathstare can you tell me how it affected your child by staying down a year we are thinking of this for our ds to repeat year2

DD1 started reception in September and is the oldest in her year (started on her 5th birthday!) she is struggling with numbers and her teacher had a quite word with us about games/ideas to help encourage her numeracy skills at the moment we are trying and to be honest she isn't that fussed and if she isnt enjoying it she switches off on the flip side she loves writing/drawing and is grasping phonic sounds however I highly doubt she would have done this a year ago which if she had been born a week earlier she would have gone to school in that year so would then be same age as your ds) I would expect your ds teacher to be more positive and not so dismissive of him

I know alot of the summer borns in her class do struggle with the phonic work and writing etc (there are 3 classes in reception and all the mums in DD1 class seem to have gel and we meet once a month at softplay after school for a proper catch up and the children get to let off steam together with siblings etc and having mums night out in 2 weeks) there is such a huge variation of what children can do in her class and to me it seems if the child is interested in that subject they learn more and that reception really is a guidance year to see where they are, get them used to school life and routine/rules and mainly to encourage independence and social skills

Hi,
I'm a Reception teacher and agree that his teacher has behaved inappropriately.

To give the comments some kind of context, teachers are being put under more pressure than ever for children to achieve - even in the early years. A lot of the time we can see that children are simply not ready for a particular aspect of learning (reading, writing and calculating often being the hardest for children).

However, we will be grilled by our head teachers, Local Authorities and Ofsted as to why children are not making the expected progress. Unfortuately, to say that a child isn't ready or has had other issues is not deemed acceptable in some schools. For example, I had a child who only attended 30% of the year and had hideous problems at home - however, as far as school were concerned he should have achieved 6+ on his EYFS profile.

I'm not condoning what has been said to you but it may be that your child's teacher is also under a lot of pressure for the children to achieve certain scores. Has your teacher explained the assessment process in Reception? (Often this gets done at the end of the year as the assessment is meant to be an end of year assessment). If she is doing the profiles termly or half termly it would be useful for you to know how he is doing in all 6 areas of the curriculum.

Finally, my advice would be to encourage him through things he enjoys (and she should be doing the same). It's amazing how a reluctant child can be coaxed into doing something if it involves their favourite toys or characters.

With respect chocolatebiscuit that says more about your school and head teacher than it does about the OPs child.
IME the targets given are far too big. I would suggest concentrating on numbers 1-5 (or even 1-3 initially) and 6 sounds at a time adding more numbers and sounds as he masters them.

Did I also say that for a long while he couldn't hear properly due to having 'glue-ear' which rectified itself but I think might be coming back - the past couple of weeks he seems to be having trouble hearing me or thinks I have said 'Where's the bean?' instead of 'What have you seen?' etc.
I am assuming that nopt being able to hear very well during the time sounds etc were being introduced to them initially helped him much at all.

Thank you chocolatebiscuit for explaining about targets - I suspected targets might come into it somewhere - but her negative verbal bashing of my 'underachieving' child (when in fact, as far as anyone else can see he is achieving/has achieved a lot) does not give me much desire to wonder wether or not she is hitting her tagets or not or even to care tbh.

Reception is a year to settle into school life, make friends and become sociable. If he can't do those things by September then i would worry. Like you said he can now write his name which he achieved within 2 weeks so by July he could well be doing all those things.

You will find that it will all click. He is very young yet and unfortunately the July /Aug birthday (like my Ds) often get compared to the Sept/Oct birthdays. Which is highly unfair.

If he is happy and enjoying schol and making friends then he's achieving alot