calling all mothers of children born in late july/aug

[kissmummy]

My DS's birthday is 27/7/7. So at the beginning of the school year in August/Sept 2011 he will have just turned four. Is he supposed to start school then, or the year after, when he will be just over five? Do we have a choice? does policy on this vary by area? DH feels strongly he doesn't want DS to be the youngest in the class. I'm quite laid back (at least in theory) as my ignorance on this subject probably suggests but feel i better get my act together and do some research on the subject. I read somewhere that legally you don't have to send your child to school until the age of five, which would suggest we could wait a year?

My DS birthday is 30 August. He is the youngest in the year (60 children, 2 form entry).

He started Reception after Christmas - 2 intakes at his school depending on birthday - when he was 4 & 4 months.

Now in year 2 and doing really well. If I say so myself he is bright, articulate & doing all that he should be doing academically, and some.

Sometimes seemed a little young emotionally in Reception but we worked through it and he settled. Lots of praise and encouragement from home and school was what he needed. Try to resist the temptation to compare with other children and all will be well.

(My niece is also an August birthday - now a 27 year old doctor, so if its the academic stuff you're worried about, don't.)

Incidentally I was one of the oldest when at school - sept birthday - and that had its own pressures too believe me.

If you're worried talk to the school, and keep talking to the school. They should have strategies for making sure younger children are well settled.

Good luck!

DD1 20/08 is the youngest in her year and has coped fine with being at school. Not quite up to speed with her literacy but I think that is more to do with her personally.
DD2 is 01/09 so will be the oldest in heryear in 2012 so I will bear witness to the opposite ends of this spectrum and can already talk endlessly about this subject . I think it is as much to do with the individual child as anything else

my ds(8) has the same birthday as op but contrary to everyone else on this thread (more or less) i don't think starting school (or rather nursery) did him any favours at all.

he's catching up now, but i can't help but think i should have kept him away from it for as long as possible.

My DD started nursery class at school in September when she was 3years and 3weeks old! Although it is not 'proper school' as it is only half day and not compulsory, she is in a mixed nursery/reception class - so to all intents and purposes it IS proper school IYSWIM.

I really think how they get on depends on the child. It is a BIG step, but my DD seems to be getting on okay, even though she is the 2nd youngest in the school. There are other children who have struggled a lot more with getting settled. However, although you really don't notice she is one of the youngest (she is quite tall for her age and very confidant), there is nearly a 2 year gap between her and some of her classmates, which I think is huge at that age.

I'm Scottish so don't really unserstand reception- is it school or nursery?

In Scotland the youngest you start Primary 1 is 4.5. Pre-school nursery is usually for 2 years from age 3.

If your child has a Dec/Jan/Fen birthday (making them the youngest in the class at 4.5 when they start in Aug) you can choose to defer them for another year so they can stay on at nursery and start Primary 1 when they are just over 5.5. I know quite a few people who have done this with children with Feb birthdays and felt it was the right decision.

Kissmummy -if you read the Jim Rose live Webchat - he states that schools shld hold a place open until year 1 for summer borns and shld be flexible about hours and start date. But in agreement with other posters, this doesn't help you much as a play based learning reception isn't normally the issue - it's the start of KS1 which can be tough on summer borns. Apparently this is now flexible too!!

Your dh is right, at least statistically, that summer borns are disadvataged in our schools. The phenonomen is called 'relative age disadvantage' and is well documented. Children born later in the school year tend to perform less well in exams, are more likely to have a SEN or mental health issues and less likely to go to uni.

However, it is often dismissed as a 'middle class' anxiety. Interesting that this thread seems to be illustrating that well supported children are in the main, not the victims of this inequality. Makes you wonder who is?

oh that makes me feel great jackstar

tbh not many on mn come on to say their child is struggling, but lots have no trouble saying the opposite

hi, thanks for all the responses, it's fantastic to get so much feedback. I'm very reassured by all those who have said their summer borns have settled in well despite being the youngest in their classes. From what everyone says it would be a big mistake for him to miss out on reception so I'm pretty sure we'll just start him off in Reception after he's turned four. He's a very confident little boy at the moment - hopefully that will last - and I'm sure he'll be fine. It would be a shame for him to miss out on what sounds like a really important transition year, from nursery to primary school.

Southeasastra - my August born ds struggled in his first few years at school. It can be tough for some summer borns - especially boys. Glad to hear your ds is catching up.

Now a gloom and doom story...

My July born DS (and eldest child so no siblings to 'bring him on') struggled and struggled at school.

His school didn't help the younger ones at all and the fact that he is big for his age hasn't helped matters. We were called in last Autumn because of concerns academically and behaviourally and when I said about him being just 7, his teacher was amazed - she thought he was 8 and one of the oldest. If he had still been an infant his behaviour (fidgeting, chatting, not paying attention) would have been more accepted than it was in juniors. I have changed schools...

The 3 boys who 'messed around' in that class were all summer born. It's interesting now having gone to a new school I have worked out just from standing in the playground in the mornings and afternoons who the younger boys in the class are. The younger girls are reasonably easy to spot too but they don't seem to struggle in the same way conforming to school life.

I would love for parents to be given a choice about when their children start reception. He could have really benefited from another year of pre-school (he only had 1).

kissmummy,

being the youngest can be a big deal, though less so for the confident, perhaps your DH is just remembering how it is for boys I think. They rank themselves from an early age as to whether they are tall or short, whether they are good at football or not, and it becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Note that, should you choose a school with 1 and a 1/2 form entry (ie 45 in a year) then your son will probably go into a Year 1 class (after reception) where the oldest kids are only (roughly) 6 months older than him. Several of the summer-borns at my school found Year 1 an absolute lifeline - it gave them a breathing-space away from the taller, more mature autumn-borns. I would highly recommend a 45 pupil year entry school for any summer-born.

My son is August-born, and I am deferring reception entry for a year, he will start reception in September 2010. I knew I would have to do this though because he has a severe language delay. I would have moved to Scotland rather than place him in reception last September . He needs both the year-deferral AND supportive parents to stand a chance, because of his language problems.

To others with summer-borns with immaturities/delays: Note also that all LEAs do have the option to allow this year--deferral of reception entry. It will help if you have a health professional of some kind backing you up. Do not allow them to blame "The Government". The author of the Government's own report confirmed just a week or so ago on mumsnet(!) that exceptions can be made, as for my son, and that he never intended to block this option for those that really need it. See mumsnet Jim Rose webchat and do not be fobbed off. For those that really need it, this is about as big a deal as it gets.

Hia

My DD is 4 weeks younger that your DS (27/06/07). She will start reception in September 2011 when she will be 4 years 2 months (there is no January in take at our school).

I am not too bothered about her being the youngest in the class and, as she is quite assertive, I don't think it will bother her either.

I am sure there will be other summer born children, in my DS's Y1 class there are 4 birthday's in the August.

DD started pre-school 2 mornings a week in January and absolutely loves it. I am going to send her for 2 full days and 3 mornings from September in preparation for school.

TP

I remember talking this over with a friend - I have a dd1 born 02/00 and her son was born 05/00. He had to start school in 09/04 - my dd in Scoatland started school a full year later, in 08/05. She was 5y6m and is second oldest in her class.

I did the same with ds, also a Feb birthday. Dd2 is Nove,ber and I felt awful sending her to school at "only 4y9m - I really felt she was too small and she has certainly not flourished at school the way the other two have.

I think some of the potential problems arise at secondary school - I taught in secondary before I had the children and you could always spot the boys who were 11 and a half rather than 12 and a half - not just size, but they were almost always the ones with no homework/forgotten folder etc....

In Scotland though there is a year less at secondary school (only 6 years) (and consequently most degrees are 4 rather than 3 years) and one of my big issues was I didn't want my dcs leaving school at 17.6 like I did and then have trouble getting a Gap year thing to do (many places look for a minimum age of 18). For my first term at Uni my student card was a different colour to other people's and had "MINOR" stamped across it so I couldn't get into the Union after 8pm!

But I look at my flourishing kids in p5(y4) - just turned 10, p3(y2) - just turned 8, and p2(y1 - was 6 last Nov) and I know I made the right decisions for them. Nowhere in Europe makes children start school as young as England.

Actually, last year we did consider moving south for a bit - there was a project dh was interested in working on and as I am a distance learning student it was no bother for me. I phoned the LEA where we may have gone to to ask about school and was told there would be no option but to put dd1 and ds "up" a year, as that was the law! So they would happily skip an entire year of education for a child from another country just to have them in the right year. It put us right off moving, and is still one of the major reasons I would not move to England.

"as that was the law"

this is very typical weegiemum. it isn't the law. it's that LEA's policy. It just stops us answering back if they say (and indeed their employees actually believe!) that it's "the law".

Just to add my opinion to this. My DS is June born and one of the youngest at school so I totally sympathise with the agonies of them being in school and being the youngest.

But I myself am 29 Aug and was right on the cusp of the intake and very much younger and smaller (physically all the way through school).

Monitor your childs progress as he goes along. Then make your decision. My DS is the baby in his year. But is learning to read and write earlier than his classmates (most are 5 already) and thriving at school. But that's him. If he seems to be struggling in the future then we will reassess.

The biggest problem I had at school was not academic. It was sport! I loved sport. Played well in most of the core sports, netball, hockey etc. However, I was physically smaller and had less stamina than my classmates. It made it tough for team selection too, because despite my ability, because of my year group I couldn't play for the team of my year group and I was deemed too old to play for the one below!

Horses for courses. See how yours go and be prepared to support them along the way or be surprised at how much they develop with the older ones.

The only time I probably could have done with being held back was going to Uni. I turned 18 days before pitching up in London. My parents must have been mad to let me go!! It took me 5 years to graduate, and obviously had no peers!

Mine started school at 5[he missed reception]his birthday is 29/08/1999!
He will be going to big school in Sept and I wish he could go a year later.I never minded gap at primary level but seems bigger at secondary...eek

I think it is Doobydoo but can only speak of my own experience! Jinx same birthday as me (apart from many, many years of course). He'll be fine. But it's probably easier to hold them back in the third year (what year is that now?) the one before options if you can. Or after GCSE and then go to sixth form.

I work with youth trainees, and maturity is a moveable feast when they are with their peers, so I don't think teachers are always best placed to give their opinion.
Purely because they see the children together all the time...no offence intended to teachers. I work with children (16-19) in work placements and they react to their supervisors/non teachers very differently.

Being summer born really affected my ds. He was incredibly immature and not ready to compete against the other boys who had the age advantage - he comparatively poor at reading, writing and numeracy and boy did he feel it. His self esteem hit rock bottom and the school made no allowances for his young age so I was made to feel pretty crap about his academic progress, his inability to listen and his lack of concentrate.
Between Year 1 and Year 2 I gave him a huge amount of educational support and he has made breathtaking progress. Before he started school I was so green when it came to all this stuff, I hadn't realised so much pressure would be heaped onto him & me for him to succeed. He's caught up now and is doing very well but it's been a rough couple of years for us both. Choose your school wisely.

That is interesting re holding back a year.Academically he is fine it is physically and like you say perhaps emotionally that is the issue.EEK.oNEmorecupofcoffee...what a tough time you both went through I am pleased it has turned out positively
Ds will be going to a Grammar[not sure which one yet]will have to see how he goes.It is mad to think that 3 days later he would be starting not this Sept but next!

My DS is starting in Sept, born 19/7. I too am worried as like BACKTOLINGLE his speech is not as developed as it should. Didn't really starting speaking till 2.5 so he has a lot of catching up. I worry how this will affect him socially. I know his speach will catch up and he is a bright kid so have confidence that he will catch up accademicaly (sp), eventually.