Year 6 boy trouble

[TakeAChair]

It's getting to that point now where DS and his peers think they're much older and tougher than they are.

They're in year 6. About to start secondary school, fighting amongst themselves for that "alpha male" position.

Anyway, if truth be told, DS is a bit "girly and nerdy". I don't say this in a nasty way, he agrees with me. He's proud of who he is and he knows he will never play for England or be the most popular kid in the class, and he's fine with that.

However, the "Most popular kid in the class" has taken a real dislike to DS and harrasses him every night on the way home from school. At first it was just comments and taunts:

"gay" "faggit" "poof" "geek"

Then it progressed to tripping him up and throwing him around.

Still, I left it thinking DS has to learn to fight his own battles before secondary school.

But then, on Friday night this kid was shouting these insults to DS right accross a main road. When DS retaliated (by saying "you seen obsessed with sexuality and homosexuals, do you have something you want to tell us?" the kid sent a younger kid across the road to physically attack DS.

The kid tried to throw DS into the road (a busy, main road) right in front of a van. Luckily, DS does karate and reversed the throw so the other kid ended up on the floor.

This could have been nasty though. I'm trying to remain calm but tbh, I want to strangle the little shit. DS could have been killed.

Has it gone far enough? do I report them to the school/police or let DS continue to fight his own battles? They're 11 btw.

You need to report it - this is not acceptable behaviour. Will he be going to secondary school with these children? If so, it will only get worse.

Time to step in I think TakeAChair. Start with the school.

I would report to school; your DS is stuck with this other child in school hours, the school needs to know.

Hoorah for your son for being happy with who he is . I'd be indulging in strangulation fantasies myself. I hope the little toerag enjoyed his little tumble.

No, thankfully they will be going to different secondary schools but I think DS will always have problems like this.

I just don't want them to pick on him for "getting mummy into school" iyswim? I just keep imagining that road and what could have happened.

I agree, you need to speak to the school- not just for DSs sake, but the other boy obviously needs adult intervention of some kind. If you want your DS to remain in charge, maybe you could get him to speak to a teacher about it... seeking help from authority can be part of fighting your own battles, after all.

Does ds know these children? Are they at his school?
Bloody hell TAC there's battles and battles, but trying to throw somebody onto a busy road is NOT something to ignore.

yeah one is in his class. The other one is in the year below but heavily influenced by the other kid as he's "the most popular kid in the school" Basically a little thug who thinks he can do what he wants to people.

report it to the school. Your DS can't fight his own battles when he is one against this other boy and his acolytes. If you report it the school will probably treat it more seriously than if your son does. I wouldn't worry about them picking on him if you report it, because if it is allowed to carry on unchecked it could lead to more road incidences.

I have first hand experience of this year 6 bullying and have several pieces of advice for you...... first of all, as you already are, stay with your son - you will be his best friend at this horrid time,secondly let me assure that secondary school will be much much better there will be boys similar in personality to your ds and he will find his 'place'.....now the tough stuff.....write everything down now whilst its fresh in your mind,telephone the police and report the incident,On Monday morning go to school and sit there until the head will see you ask to see a copy of their anti bullying policy and then write to the governors with regards to this boy......not much will happen im sad to say but kick up a fuss!.

Dont be tempted to speak to thugboys mum just deal with it in the way I describe - it will 'scare' school sh*tless if you report it to the police .

Please give your ds a hug from me and tell him its fine to be the way he is.

Thank you nickschick your post made me smile.

I am holding all my hopes on secondary school. The one he's going to holds drama club, chess club, computer club ... everything he would thrive at. Unlike primary which basically holds a "if you're no good at football, you're useless" policy.

I wouldn't approach the mother, she's one of these that thinks the sun shines out of her son's arse (despite his arrests at the tender age of 10 )

I will go into the school first thing monday morning.

Tell the school and tell the HT that you are considering reporting it to the police too.

My son was stabbed in the face with a pencil,the head teacher absolutely denied this as his bully was the 'school favourite' I only found out the truth when I heard his mum boasting in the shop about how hard her son was she wasnt so hard when I spoke with her though .

My son thrived at secondary and left with v good gcses and is now studying 4 a levels hoping to become a lawyer.

That boy? hes just a bum.

Your ds secondary school sounds fab and I sincerely hope he has a great time.....his success will be far better than a punch on the bullys chin.

What goes around comes around.

Let us know how Monday goes.

** disclaimer .....im not usually a 'thug' but hearing her boasts about her son being a 'hard case' made me see red - I was .....dh was at me though.

nickschick - there's no reason why reporting the incident to the police should 'scare the school shitless' - the school doesn't have any responsibility for things that happen outside the school, though a school which is following a good anti-bullying policy will want to be informed of incidents, to help them deal with what may be happening in the school - this would include working with the police as appropriate.

Rusty I am speaking from my experiences as you suggest a good school wouldnt be scared sh*tless but trust me ....a bad school that favours the footballers and has 'golden children' would.

Your son sounds great. Love what he said!

The best retort I heard was at secondary school when some lad from a neighbouring school said to another lad from the catholic school ...'you gay 'f*cker' he replied with a limp wrist 'I am rather arent I darling' and laughed.

I would have gone into the school before now too. I don't think it sense a message about "mummy coming into school". It sends a message about How We Use Distantiated Power. And the earlier your ds can learn from you how to do that, the better. Seriously.

All the gay insult stuff is, of its own right, Seriously Unacceptable. I suspect it's the sort of thing that results in exclusions in some schools. Perhaps not all. But some.

Given that, I think your desire to let him sort stuff out for himself sends a subliminal message that it is not that serious. Really, most schools take that sort of thing (never mind the physical violence,) very seriously, and if they don't, the LEA probably will.

I've had my dc in ordinary London schools and none of what you describe would be acceptable.

Bit of a no-brainer. Like your other thread.

Sorry. Read that back and it sounds to my ears a bit strident.

I'm a bit tired, and not expressing myself very well. Basically, I just wanted to suggest there are good reasons for intervening, and you don't need to feel bad about it.

There is a longer reason for intervening - but I'm not sure I'm bouncy enough to express it in a non-hectoring way right now!

Good luck - and I hope you and your ds get it sorted.

Oh.