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Primary education

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Original poster

Bad Influence

8 replies

MrsNorthman · 04/02/2010 15:59

I know I should have renamed and called myself Mrs Bucket!!

Here goes:

My DS is 6 and in year 1 and seems to be doing well/happy at school.

He's had a couple of boys back to tea and they have been very nice pleasant kids.

He now has a new friend and has started quoting him. New friend seems to be awash with bad language as a result DS is now talking like "Del Boy" and thinks its really cool.

I have a local accent and am not 'posh' by any means but I do try to make an effort around DS and use good vocab to stretch his brain and I do not swear/use bad sloppy language around him.

Anyway ... DS would like his new friend to come to tea and I do not as I think he is a bad influence.

Do I ignore DS's infatuation with his new friend? Help!

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GypsyMoth · 04/02/2010 16:01

no,have him to tea.....he'll still be a 'bad influence' at school even if you limit playing together after school....

cory · 04/02/2010 16:19

If your ds uses bad (= rude) language, that is his responsibility'; just make it clear that he will be punished for it and won't be able to pass the blame onto somebody else, and you shouldn't have to worry to much about the influence of his friend

Am quite convinced dcs friends swear like fishwives- have never had to listen to a swearword from either of dcs. But then we do have a swearkitty (which applies to both children and adults) and they know it can come expensive.

My attitude has always been that I don't interfere with their friendships, but I never make excuses about behaviour either.

smee · 04/02/2010 17:54

Is this new friend a nice kid though? DS has a similar friend, who's taught him all sorts of swear words, but he's a sparky, funny boy who is great fun and can see why DS adores him. I've done what Cory suggests, so DS knows he's not to use those words and his friend knows it's not on in our house and sticks to it. Give him a chance I say.

claig · 04/02/2010 18:01

agree with smee, these type of children are usually fun, cheeky, exciting, daring and adventurous, which is why your DS likes him. Your DS will most likely be drawn to characters like that whatever you do, and it's also a good learning experience for him to get to know all different types of characters.

Original poster

MrsNorthman · 04/02/2010 19:59

OK so i'll be honest. Its not necessarily the language as DS does know where I stand on that front. But the boy comes from a really bad family ... and to put it mildly I don't want him to have anything to do with him.

OP posts:

Flyonthewindscreen · 04/02/2010 20:14

Would you be happy for your DS to go this new friend's house for tea, etc? Because if not I would think carefully about inviting him in the first place to avoid embarrassment of what to do about any return invite.

cornsilk · 04/02/2010 20:18

you are being a snob

claig · 04/02/2010 20:25

I understand what you mean, there was a family like that when we were at school, and everybody used to try to avoid having anything to do with them, in case it led to trouble. I would go with your gut feel, I think you are probably right. You can try to discourage the friendship and hope that the other boy finds other friends instead.

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