Agonising over my summer-born ds's progress.

[redhen]

DS2 is just 5 and a half and born late summer - youngest and physically smallest in his Y1 class as nice (but quite pushy) private pre-prep. Teachers very supportive and kind to him but telling me that he is stuggling to keep up with the pace of the class and they worry for his well-being and that he will feel like a failure at school. Not seen any sign of unhappiness with school myself - in fact he positively bounds in and is happy to do the homework they set him.

Half of the problem is his young and immature age and the other half, I think, is a sleep related issue - he has broken sleep and he makes his way to our bed every night without fail - suspect this makes him tired during day and he cannot concentrate as hard as he should. Also suspect he would rather be playing with his toys....

Problem is that he has his 7+ assessment in a year in order to carry on in the school and he really wants this - as do we and his older siblings.

Wondering if any others have had similar problems and if so what did they do to help their child cope and reassure school?

My dd1 is born in August, and it took until Y2 for her to even start to catch up with her age group. She is now in Y5, and is still aware that she is the youngest in the class.

You have a ds, so he may take at least this amount of time to catch up - given that boys tend to mature later.

The teachers in your son's school should be aware that his problems are probably a result of immaturity rather than anything else. I would expect them to be patient, he is only in Y1, he cannot be the only 5 (or 6)n year old who would prefer to play!

My dc are educated in the state sector, where backyearing children is almost unheard of. However, as you are using an independent school, they may be more receptive to the possibility of him repeating a year. The only caution with that is that if he transfers to another indie school, he may be required to return to his normal cohort, and almost certainly would be required to in a state school. (So check your finances carefully.)

If he is struggling then why isn't the school helping? Ds is at pre-prep and is 5.5. Emotionally immature (was born nearly two months prem) but school is very supportive for those who need additional help. He is currently being assessed and may need extra help particularly with reading. That will be either with the SENCO and charged or as part of an additional reading group with one of the teachers.

The waking at night won't be helping his concentration. What have you tried to keep him in his own bed? Ds went through a phase of this and I offered a treat if he stayed in his own bed. Worked eventually.

You may need to ask yourself if this is the school for him?

I can see it would be agony to have your children in different places, but one size does not fit all. If this is a pushy school then it will only suit children who enjoy rattling along at a pace etc. How long before he does realise that he is not keeping up with his peers, he won't yet, but one day he will. The worry for his well being is your key phrase that concerns me.

My DS is a late summer born, and although it is difficult for them, they are expected to compete at the same pace, so our son did sats at the same time, he will sit his GCSEs at the same time as all the children in his year group.

What are the alternatives?

My ds was like this - never slept through the night until well into Y2. Summer born and at bottom of class in infants, not really reading until Y2, started to catch up in Y3. Now Y6 and doing well.

However, my dc's are state-educated. Your description of your ds makes it seem as if he's a perfctly normal, happy little boy. he loves school ... he's happy to do homework (god are you LUCKY!) and often would prefer to play rather than study. However, I can see that for a pushy pre-prep or prep this could be an issue, especially if the teachers are pointing it out.

It may be worth speaking to them and asking them frankly about the assessment and if he's likely to get through - they must surely have had other children in similar position. My gut feeling is that longer term you've got nothing to worry about, he'll catch up and do well; if the school isn't prepared for this, then maybe it isn't right for your son. You may want to just 'window shop' to see if there are other independent schools locally that are less pressurised, or at state options.

Ds's school assessment is something called the Aston Index. It apparently assesses strengths and weaknesses and potential. I have a meeting with his teacher and the SENCO to receive and discuss the report findings. Might be worth doing something similar with your ds.

I have a meeting next week... (if I had it now I'd be able to give you more info on exactly what it covers ).

thanks so much for your helpful and positive comments - much needed! would be interested to hear more about the Aston Index MollieO if you have time / remember after your meeting

Ds has been tested at my behest. He had a rocky start to year 1 and I wasn't sure if it was him or a personality clash with the teacher (albeit unlikely at the grand age of 5!). She said she had never taught a child like ds. She suggested the test but he was too young (need to be 5.5 or older).

By the time we got to the middle of last term she had changed her mind and said he no longer needed testing. I asked for the test as I wanted to have something on ds's school record that assessed his ability and would be useful for any future conflict with this teacher. Others I know who have had their dcs assessed have found it very beneficial.

They will surely standardise the test to take account of younger children ? It is known now that statistically summer born children are on average behind their autumn born peers right up to GCSE