School trip for 5 year old

[nebula]

First post to Mumsnet, hello.

We are currently living in France and my son was five years old in October.

Question: There is a school trip planned for five days in March to another part of France...six hours away by train and buses. They are going away for five days...yes that means four nights away. It is to a farm which looks nice and i am sure very enjoyable...but I think five is very young to be going away for five days.

Am i paranoid ?? Probably as I am up at 5.00 am in the morning, can't sleep..as have to decide by end of week.

If he doesn't go, will he become ostracised by the others who do go?

Oh a little bit of advice from other mums or dads wouldn't go a miss....

What do you think? Would you let your five year old child go..

Salient facts:

Six hours away on buses and train.
Have to leave at 6.00am in morning.
Four nights away
Five days away
Only just five in October

Will try and go back to bed now! Thanking you.

My DS is the same age, and while he is happy at school and reasonably independent, he has not been away over night on his own (he has stayed at home without us but with Grandparent a couple of times and with teh AP once in an emergency). He would not want to go. So I sympathise.

however, I would be very interested to know what the other parents are doing...

Absolutely not!

It's far too young!

I can't see the point of the trip. Why do they even do it? You are not being over-protective just sensible.

shall keep you posted on how many parents want to go...

Definitely not under any possible circumstance would I allow my 5yr old(5!!!)to go a any sort of residential trip with anyone.
What on earth is that all about.?

Why the early rush to separate such little ones from their parents for a week? A SIX hr trip is faaaaar too long.

Tell me what benefit is supposed to be gained by such a notion of taking a class of 5 yr olds away for a week.

And I certainly wouldn't care what any other parent or teacher thought.

Follow your maternal instinct which is far stronger that the weird educational notion that this trip is a good idea. Use that week to give your DC lots of lovely treats and have a magical week together.

To mine it was an adventure. A chance for her to try lots of new things and build in confidence and independance. My dd is exceptionally outgoing and confident though. (don't know where she gets it from!) She actively asked to go and she has already been browsing the brochure for this years trips. She fancies cooking school on the Belgian coast. Belgium is little so she would only be an hour away though and we take her there ourselves. I know last year I was the only one crying though.

French school my DC attended asked if I would allow DD, who would hae been 6, to go to Pyrannees for week. I wouldn't, but neither would other (French) parents so trip did not take place.

natsmum100 - I think that's the trend, really.

Even in my DD's school the CE1 12 night trip gets more and more controversial every year, with more parents thinking it is too long for such little ones.

My DP and his brother used to get sent on two-week colonies de vacances before they could read and write, so couldn't understand the postcards their parents sent them!

I am not sure what the French system is re school trips, but in Britain they originated during the Victorian period.

Children then almost never saw the sea and fresh air was at a premium. Parents worked in factories and cities were smog filled.

Why on earth they have continued until the 21stC I cannot understand.

All the teachers I know hate them.

Most of the parents I know find them very expensive and most suffer from huge levels of anxiety whilst their child is away.

Like many others, my children were already widely traveled before they even started school.

When will school authorities understand that most parents resent the pressure to sign up for these trips. Children are hugely precious and most families don't need some education boffin deciding their travel plans.
Say NO to school trips if you are concerned about your child's safety.

No way.

At DD's school they do a day-trip to france (from London) at age 6/7. That is scary enough for me.

The National curriculum in Belgium means dcs go to the seaside at 8, and skiing at 11. I find the idea of the skiing one a bit scary. Though I have been looking at the notice board at dd's school where they have a daily update from the year 6 trip (to Switzerland) and they seem to be having a fab time.

Vacances Vivantes who dd went away with last year, take them from 3. I was astounded by this. I'm sure you all think I am awful for letting dd go away at 5, but she genuinely wanted to go.

My employer subs these things so I get a brochure sent. She saw one aged 4 and asked what it was. She wanted to go then! I made her wait a year.

will let you know our decision..and other parents too..one mum i talked to is horrified at the prospect!! But two others are ok about it.

Belgium beats all the developed world records for early separation from parents IMO - earliest pre-school starting age, earliest school trips, earliest colonies. Deeply cultural. Obviously when you live in a country you adapt your expectations to some extent - and of course what is on offer is adapted to the child's developmental level too.

In France I have noticed lots of children go on a school ski trip in 5ème ie aged 12/13.

This is fascinating!

I had no idea DCs went on residentials any younger than say 8!

I went on my first overnighter (2 nights!) at 11 in the first year of secondary school. DS1 did a one night camp in a tent on the school playing field at 8 in Y4 (grand idea), a 4 nighter an hour away at 9 and is currently on another 4 nighter again, an hour away. He is 10.

I think that around 8-9 is fair enough. The DCs have developed intellectually enough to gain benefit from the actually being away from parents AND having to do things for themselves aspects of a residential; that, and consciously learning how to rub along with others in a close environment. Surely the teachers or helpers would be doing everything a mum would have to do for a 4 or 5 year old! Where's the benefit of that?

fwiw there's no way on god's sweet earth I'd allow MY 5 year old on more than possibly a one night away with a friend!

I would not let my child go. Its a personal choice. I wouldn't worry about whether other people thought I was over protective. I know I'm not, other parents know that I'm not.

There are always times when you are out of sync with other parents - but that doesn't mean you are wrong - or being silly.

I suppose you probably need to work out what you think, tell the school and stick to it. Maybe you are feeling unsure and just need a little more time, speak with other parents, find out about the arrangements. Get a good view of what your child will be doing and make a decision.

I didn't one of my DC's go on a school trip when he was 6. I would have let him go if I could have gone too, as I was nervous about distance - seemed so far to be without me. However, my daughter was new born and it simply wasn't practical. However, all the kids had a great time on the trip. With hindsight he would have been fine. But I still don't regret my decision. You can only go at your own pace as a parent. It hasn't ruined his life not going - it was only a trip, after all. Life moves on fast for kids. To be honest, the kids that went on that trip hardly remember it at all as they have been on other more exciting trips since.

A lot of 5 year olds are too young to cope with a sleepover with a friend (speaking from experience), never mind 5 days away!

I'm surprised the school does this - they must have to do a lot of cheering up homesick kids.

I would possibly let a reception child go if they were used to staying over at friend's etc and it wasn't so far away.

BlauerEngel and Portofino How long had your DD been at the nursery/school when she went and was she there all day mon-fri or did she go part-time?

Also Portofino How far away was your DDs trip?

Dd started Maternelle FT at 2.5. They regularly took them on day trips out from that age.

The first trip dd did was Pirate Camp (aged just 5)for 3 days on the Belgian coast - about an hour away. We dropped her there ourselves. The 2nd one was 6 nights in the countryside in the summer, again about an hour away. She was about 5.5 then.

They kept them very busy - dd said she wasn't homesick and that the other children weren't either. I didn't see any tears at drop off time either - apart from mine.

DD told me that if she missed me a bit, she looked inside her heart, and I was there all the time. That made be blub too. She is very keen to go again this summer.

I think the system here does encourage early independance. I personally have no complaints. Dd is a very happy, very knowledgeable, confident little girl. On holiday she was up on stage, singing to a huge crowd, all by herself. (I would NEVER have done such a thing.)
How much of that is nature, how much is to do with our parenting, or the school system I have NO idea.

I do worry about her when she is away obviously, but not in the sense of her being sad or homesick, more a case of accidents etc. But these things could happen anywhere.

Everyone knows their own child best, and what they can and can't cope with.

I am guessing your DD felt confident going because she had been at the same school with the same teachers and friends for 2.5-3 years when she went on these trips. This would be equal to being in year 2/3 in the UK which I think most posters are saying is more reasonable?

She didn't do the "big" trips with the school though but through a specialised kid's holiday company. The same co. runs my employer's summer holiday scheme and many of my colleague's dcs have done/do these trips so I was confident that they were well run and that the dcs enjoyed them.

Oh right so she didn't go with anyone that she knew? I assumed it was a school trip not something similar to PGL.

Just to let you know, we said no the school trip. Out of about 60 odd parents, only 4 have said no!!
Pleased that the trip has not been cancelled on our behalf, but slightly bemused that so many parents have said yes.
Are we swimming too much against the tide. If 56 parents say yes and only four no, are we wrong ???

I think you did exactly the right thing.
"The foolish are many while the wise are few". The others probably felt the pressure to conform. Now you can relax and the others will have to fret.

In Belgium, school trips for Moyenne and Grande section are still the norm. Our daughter went aged 4 for 3 days in the Ardennes last year. Her class was 50% non Belgian and non Francophone first language and EVERY child went, Japanese, British, French, Polish, American, Hungairan, Spanish, Portuguese, Finnish. I really thought that the non Belgian families would be difficult and opt out, but no, it was us non Belgians waving their children away happily and the Belgian mums crying!!! The ratio of adults to children was 6 to 1. The children were just over an hour away. I suppose maybe the proximity may make it easier to remain positive about these residential trips in our little country. The children did loads of project work about the trip, before and afterwards.