Advise me please I'm probably oversensitive

[asdx2]

Dd 6 in Yr 2 and has a statement giving her 20 hours of support. Now she isn't a typical statemented child she is academically able (top groups) and has no behavioural issues whatsoever.
She got her statement prior to nursery when she was significantly delayed across the board but she has no delays anywhere now and as I say she is able academically.
I fought for the statement then and continue to fight to keep it because she (and her class if I am truthful) benefit from the extra adult.
My concern centres on the teacher in the class for just two days a week.Dd has complained that she has been told off/ put on the sad face because she has pushed or more recently thrown snow at A.
Now I don't object at all to dd being told off or put on the sad face my concern is that because of the autism dd has very sophisticated speech but isn't too good at explaining herself and I think she is being treated slightly harshly because she is unable at the time to explain herself.
At home we use role play and pictures so that she can explain herself but obviously at that moment when teacher is angry dd can't get her point across.
What I have been able to ascertain is that dd has retaliated on each occasion when A has taken something from her or thrown snow at her. Obviously being more savvy than dd A has then lied to cover her own back and dd has been blamed.
I would like to discuss with the teacher that in spite of dd's sophisticated speech her ability to communicate is significantly delayed but because she appears far more able across the board than A I don't think teacher will take it on board and may consider me criticising her handling of my dd.
How can I approach this as these incidences only occur when dd's LSA is on a break and so is unable to speak for dd?
Any help appreciated, thanks

Does your dd SEN Statement describe her communication issues and address how best to work with her?

When is her Statement review? Can you ensure that this teacher attends so she can hear first hand the history and ?hidden? special needs of your daughter?

Now the communication issues in the statement are a bone of contention tbh. Dd had a pretty useless SALT who prepared her report for the statement review. The report was awful and damaged my dd's chances of keeping her statement as she used inappropriate testing and didn't pick up on the delayed echolalia or document it when I illustrated for her.
I proved that her testing was wrong and her report was inaccurate and the LEA disregarded and removed her input from the review and actually wanted me to make a formal complaint wrt the SALT. Reading between the lines I think I am not the only person to have done this and LEA are dissatisfied with her input.
I wasn't interested in complaining because I got a new SALT, equally hopeless but at least she gets me to approve her reports before submitting them
As a result her statement has a very blanket description of her communication skills and most points end as is typical of asd which is very true tbh.But it isn't terribly descriptive of dd's individual difficulties.
I think the added difficulty is that dd's autism is considered moderate to severe but because of early and intensive intervention she has made outstanding progress, has been coached an awful lot and this hides the severity of the autism.
It is hugely difficult to approach this because I don't even have confidence in approaching the SALT to explain matters and mostly I think the teacher is very good although a bit oversensitive perhaps. I had to explain that dd found it upsetting when she called her Lisa(not her name) and she seemed slightly annoyed that dd got upset and I felt the need to mention it although why wouldn't I???
Dd's review isn't until June when dd will be preparing for transition to juniors I suppose so could do with speaking out before then really.

You are right ? June is too long to wait. What about her IEP ? is that coming up?

Is this particular teacher part of a job share? Is she new? What is the teacher like who is there for three days?

• sorry, did not mean for this to sound like the Spanish Inquisition!

You obviously want the best for your dd but also do not want to upset her teacher ? is the LSA good?

I think you should speak to the school Senco and ask for advice. (I am a primary teacher).

Yes the teacher is a job share and dd has never complained about the other teacher likewise the other teacher has never told me that dd has been told off or put on the sad face so I assume she has more of a grasp of Lucy and the interaction between dd and A.
Likewise the LSA is great too and would speak for Lucy but the incidences only happen when LSA isn't there.
If it wasn't for the fact teacher got a bit snooty about the name issue I would approach her myself but I have a sneaky feeling that because of the name issue she would consider me over protective.
She did assume dd was an only child at that time which I think suggests that she sees me as a bit fussy and dd a bit spoilt. She seemed quite shocked when I told her she is one of five although now she probably assumes that dd is assertive and able to hold her own being the youngest in a large family.
I don't know what to do really only I'm increasingly unhappy that dd is seen as difficult probably because of the autism stereotype

I think it would be a good idea to speak to the SENCO about your dd's general needs. That way you can bring up the issue of her apparent sudden change in behaviour, ie being told off or put on the sad face when this isn't usual for her. This allows you to bring up the issue of dd's actions being misinterpreted without it seeming like a direct complaint about the teacher IYSWIM.

Would it be at all possible for someone else to keep an eye on dd during break times? It sounds as though this is when your dd needs help the most, rather than in the classroom where things are generally okay.

I think you should go and see the job share teacher. I've been in this position myself, in a class for 3 days, doing maternity cover. One of the children in that class sounded very similar to your DD. A couple of things happened that I would never have considered important normally, but his mother was very quick to come to talk to me and explain why he found this particular situation difficut to deal with. I was so pleased she did because I was far more aware of his needs (from what was only a 5 minute meeting) and I was able to keep a closer eye and prevent this particular situation cropping up again. It also meant I was able to feed the info back to the other job share teacher, lunchtime supervisors and the other teachers in the year group so everyone was completely aware. Sometimes the paperwork doesn't give you the whole story, and only a mum's few words will do the trick!
If you're not happy with the response you get from this teacher, then it's time to take things further: SENCo/year leader/headteacher.