Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

Original poster

What do you do when your child is stuck in the class from hell in primary school?

24 replies

MaryGoodnight · 13/12/2009 17:58

I have 2 dcs who both go to a lovely school. Dc1's class has always been a really well balanced class with one or two problems but nothing major and we've never had to speak to the teachers about anything.

Dc2's class is like the class from hell. 5 children have already threatened to remove their children from the school, there have been bullying problems amongst the girls and boys. The main problem seems to be a mix of very strong willed children who also happen to either be only children or the eldest in the families (like a 70% proportion in the class) and the personality clashes are extraordinary. There is also an evil genius (a boy) who co-ordinates trouble by telling boys to beat up the other children and then they can be in his gang. Ds has not moved up a reading level because it is taking about 20 mins per lesson to sort the children out. He could move up but most of their focus is now on behavioural issues rather than academic (they are yr3) which doesn't bother me as they are only little but it worries me for years4-6.

Can we ask that he is removed from the class? He doesn't play with any of them at break time as they are far too violent for him (and play beat each other up type games). Or are we stuck with this class now?

I can see why people on here used to say what a difference it made when their child was in a nice class!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

MaryGoodnight · 13/12/2009 17:58

5 parents have threatened to remove, not children sorry!

OP posts:

Bucharest · 13/12/2009 18:00

What the feck has being the oldest or an only child got to do with bad behaviour, pray tell?

Are we saying only second children are well-behaved?

Original poster

MaryGoodnight · 13/12/2009 18:04

no, I didn't say they were badly behaved just that there is an odd proportion of incredibly strong personalities who just happen to be only children or eldest ones.

OP posts:

GossipMonger · 13/12/2009 18:13

Will watch with interest as ds1 is in a great class but think ds2 is going to be in a class from hell in January when 40 new children start.

and there are some terrors starting!

Heated · 13/12/2009 18:16

How many classes per year group?

Original poster

MaryGoodnight · 13/12/2009 18:18

lol gossip!

(bucharest - wasn't trying to make an issue but was just pointing out the demographic - only because I find that sort of thing quite interesting!)

it is such a nightmare for poor ds. He has now been placed on a table with the main ringleader of the trouble because the teacher told us there was no-one else left that she could put him next to. This after this boy spent almost a year beating poor ds black and blue arrghh!

OP posts:

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 13/12/2009 18:18

You're stuffed TBH. How can they move your child out into another class? They can't move every child out can they, there won't be room.

Original poster

MaryGoodnight · 13/12/2009 18:21

3 per year

they could have mixed up the classes from yr2 to 3 but unfortunately, their yr 2 teacher (who I am now v pissed off with) kept telling us and all the other parents that everything was totally under control, even though loads of us suspected it wasn't. So ds was coming back having been biffed and we were told it was being dealt with and given great assurances. However, we started to have our suspicions at the end of year 2 that things were not as rosy as the teacher was saying they were when dd told us she had seen ds being beaten up and had gone to ds's teacher and ds's teacher ignored her!

now they are in juniors

the school now seem to be making a lot more effort to sort out the issues but have had to revert to doing infant style circle time in lesson time and social skills lessons which I'm sure will benefit ds but in the meantime, he's stopped working and is not interested in his class at all. At break time, he plays with the other classes.

OP posts:

Summersoon · 13/12/2009 18:42

That sounds awful! I would be beside myself if my DD was in that situation. Are you in a position to consider moving him to another school?

MadamDeathstare · 13/12/2009 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantasFullAndHeavingSack · 13/12/2009 18:52

the school need to get a grip on the class really. Sounds a nightmare situation, which yours or anyone elses dc does not deserve.

Keep on at the school about it.

Original poster

MaryGoodnight · 13/12/2009 19:04

yes we will. Lucky for us, 3 other parents have gone to see the headmaster and the head of year is involved. I do believe they are making a really big effort to resolve it but ultimately, my feeling is that it will get no better whilst the ring leaders are still all together in class.

We have got to the end of a term and there has only been minimal progress tbh. The problems are honestly enormous.

The boy sitting next to ds now is the one who masterminds all the activity. Ds pays no attention to him (hence why he is sitting next to him). There are 2 other boys who are the pushy/shoving/punching ones who are hugely attention seeking (you know when you have a party and boys load their plate with all their food to see what your reaction will be, and do things like get on the table daring you to tell them to get off - that's what these 2 other boys are like. I've been at parties with them where they've practically been hanging off the ceiling and their parents have said nothing to them). Put those 3 together and it is like a whirlwind unfortunately. The other boys then follow their lead and choas ensues!

We could move schools but it would be v difficult as our area's schools are oversubscribed and obviously, dd goes there.

OP posts:

Original poster

MaryGoodnight · 13/12/2009 19:07

one of the boy's who punched ds in the eye last year...his parents phoned me and rather than apologising said they didn't believe that he had done it! Rather than accepting it, they said 'oh our poor ds, we feel he is being picked on and blamed for all of this when it can't be him!'.

OP posts:

Bucharest · 13/12/2009 19:15

Sorry Mary, was being a bit arsey and defensive.

It does sound awful- the only thing might be the fact that so many of the parents are unhappy, maybe power in numbers to go with some sort of delegation maybe to the governors if the teachers can't control the class.

Good luck!

Original poster

MaryGoodnight · 13/12/2009 19:19

no it's ok. It was a piece of information that didn't need to be mentioned. I was writing while thinking iyswim! It's something I just happened to notice in their class, not that it necessarily has any significance.

yes, I hope parent power works . I feel so sorry for ds and part of me does think that if it doesn't improve, I will have to look at somewhere else which makes me quite sad because it is a lovely school but they are really struggling with this motley crue!

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 13/12/2009 19:27

Well it was really unfiar not to mix up the classes for this year..not only the the children, but on this years teacher! tEhy may well mix up the classes for next year, but that doesnt' help you now!

I do understand what you are saying about only and eldest children...DS2 was in such a class for 2 years, and although all the families were lovely middle class families, these children somehow got away with murder, and were extreamly, um...."lively"

IME, it's unlikely they will move your DS to another class now. (If they did, I imagine they will have lots of other parents demanding the same thing)

DS1 has circle time until Y5 (difficult class) but it was a benefit to him, so don't worry about that...

I would ask if our DS could be moved...just expect to be turned down.

And for what it's worth, when DS1 missed a year of school (he attended mostly, but wasn't able to learn) it only took 2 terms catch up to where he should be.

zanzibarmum · 13/12/2009 19:32

What is the school doing to address the issues with the boy in question. Is he getting support, sanctions etc as appropriate.

Generally schools want a quiet life - only if you make a formal complaint will things begin to be addresses. The complaint then has to be investigated and you have a right of appeal. Frame the complaint carefully - not aimed at the disruptive boy.

FabIsGettingReadyForChristmas · 13/12/2009 19:35

My son is now in year 4 and when he went in to year 3 the classes were all mixed up as they weren't working well. Maybe that will happen in your school?

FabIsGettingReadyForChristmas · 13/12/2009 19:38

Take photos of bruises.

My son has been bullied on and off for 3 years by various kids and most of it was verbal. Recently it got physical so I went in to school and said it had to stop right now. If it hadn't I would have gone nuclear tbh considering what the kids were doing to mine.

Original poster

MaryGoodnight · 13/12/2009 20:06

yes unfortunately they only mix up classes from yr2 to 3 (and he's in yr 3) but their teacher in yr 2 was a very ambitious teacher who didn't want to admit there were problems with the class and tbh, we believed him when he said that and thought it was just a temporary problem. It's clear now that the problems were already there but not being resolved. I am kicking myself now for not making more of a fuss last school year. Even the school have said, off the record, that had they known how bad it was, they would have mixed classes up from yr2 to 3.

The SENCO is involved (not that any of these children have special needs but because so many parents have complained, she is helping try to sort out the group mentality behaviour), the head of year and headteacher but progress is painfully slow.

I think you're right. I think we should put in a formal request to move classes knowing it will most likely be turned down but it will be another piece of written evidence that we aren't happy and want the situation watched.

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 13/12/2009 20:11

I think LABS also need to be involved. This is what happend when DS was in a difficult class in Y4..they eventually mixed the classes up when they went into Y6, and the class is much calmer now.

Olivia101 · 13/12/2009 21:01

It´s a shame that schools and children have to suffer because some parents insist on raising spoiled brats.
The fact that they were excusing their kid on that phone call to you tells you the kind of people they are.
Work together with the other parents who are unhappy, go to see the principal together...Put as much pressure as you can.

HotOtter · 13/12/2009 21:38

Why do they only mix up the classes from y2 to y3?

I think I would start arguing the case for them mixing up the classes for next year. Especially if it's a 3 class intake, there's quite a lot of scope there for making hte situation better.

I don't know if there is a reason why they can't be mixed up now that they are in juniors? Surely the teacheres as well as parents would be in favour, as it sounds like all the teachers will be in dread of getting this class!

Heated · 13/12/2009 22:11

Surely there must be room for really moving pupils around under the guise of setting according to ability, especially for reading, writing and maths to get your son some respite away from these boys?

In your position I would write to the head putting in a request to move my child because he is increasingly disengaged and frighted about coming to school due to the violent and unruly behaviour of XXXX (and yes, I would name them so there can be no pussy footing around) And then request a follow-up meeting in person.

Obviously it depends on make-up of the other classes and how many challenging pupils they have, but surely at least dissipating the effect of the three unruly boys together by separating them and also putting in the TA support would be a good first step?

Flip