We are the festive receptionists' mothers - we bring shepherds, aliens and travelling cribs to a nativity play near you

[mistletoemulledwinemoodlum]

This is our new festive thread ladies.

Yes but grammerpolice - I am probably the most slack parent on MN as regards academic attainment. I should say that DD is only 5 and on the yellow books (well they are yellow round these parts), and now DS (4) is also on them. He literally has no idea or interest. But maybe he just won't do it for me. They get books home twice a week which have to be read at home that night and returned the following day, and they get listened to individually twice a week or more I think. Because dd and ds are at different schools, I've found it interesting watching how different schools do reading - dd didn't get books with words in until the Spring Term last year. At her school you have to be spit spot perfect before they move you up a reading book level, whereas with DS, from what I can see its just "aha - we are on week 4, that means it must be a yellow book" I say bring back the books which featured floppy as the only character and the only word

Phew sorry that was a long and boring post.

DD did some letter sounds today (and possibly Monday and Tuesday). She was very happily showing me a-a-a ants on your arm. Also s and t. I am thinking p i and n will be next as I see Jolly Phonics jollying along .

From what I remember with DS (who is only in Y1 so I shouldn't really have forgotten) they do whole class letter sounds and check what they know every so often and when they seem secure on letter sounds they get the ORT books with no words. That will be fun when DD gets them . Think I was enthusiastic with DS but not sure I can do it twice.

I think DS got a book part way into his second term, but was still only nursery then. Must be a bit different for younger in the year children who are reception all the way through, but only part time for two terms.

Will let small girl happily have ants on her arm for now .

That was very waffly indeed

grammer, our school hears the children read once a week and sends a book home then. From what I can gather, they did letter sounds as a class to start with, and now seem to be doing whole class stuff on things like 'words ending in -ck'.

Mood - am a bit at the idea that you are expected to read the book that night. They are so little at this age and might just be tired or busy playing Lego or something. Poor you with that - the opposite end of the scale to my ds's teacher's laid back approach!

Our school is so s-l-o-w...they have only done less than half the jolly phonics sounds (and none that ds didn't know before he started - sorry if that sounds up its own but it's true).

It is interesting that schools are so different given the whole EYFS seems to have everything regulated to the hilt at first sight.

Moodlum - just curious, how come your two are at different schools? Are they single sex schools?

Moodlum-Im shocked as well that you are expected to read the book that night...we can change DS's as much or as little as we like. Like Grammer said they have got loads more interesting things to be doing in the evening as well as reading...that must be really hard on the parents.

Totally agree that its interesting how different schools do different things...like grammer's DS mine also knew a lot of the JP sounds before starting which I have to confess was down to me getting some JP books last year as he was so desperate to read and his nursery had a very "hands off" approach but once his teacher realised that he knew them she has allowed him to whizz through them. He still does the fun activities about JP with rest of the class but does other stuff as well. Thing we may have struck lucky with his teachers balance of moving forward those who can but not pushing at the same time.

GP - its a longwinded story about why they are at separate schools . But basically, DD went to the local infant school, and does really well there, is a good compliant girl who has nice friends. DS, on the other hand, is very young for his year, very small, attracted to whatever trouble/distractions may be going on around him and was in a year with some pretty rough boys and so we felt he would struggle in a boisterous class of 30. At the same time, I started to work for the local prep school which entitled me to a huge amount off the school fees. So, after much agonising and weeping and wailing, we decided to keep dd where she was until leaving after y2 (its only infants) and put ds in the private alternative, which has smaller classes and is a bit gentler than the larger infant school iyswim.

If I'm honest, I still worry a huge amount that I shouldn't have split them up, the unfairness of one at private and one at state, and the difficulty we will have persuading dd to go there once she has finished infants - she's dead set against it. But, I think it was the right decision, it will all even out in the end and both are happy so ho hum.

Mood - it sounds eminently sensible to me. It's only for a couple of years so I doubt the fairness issue will be something they will hold against you when they're older and you have quite clear reasons for doing this.

Iheart - can you tell me what the teacher does with your ds in addition to the whole class phonics given he knew some of it already? I have a bit of an issue in that ds could read reasonably before he started school but it appears that they aren't really doing anything different with him, so he's plodding through the JP stuff. It's ok as he enjoys learning the songs as they are new to him even if the sounds aren't and I know it's not just about ds but I'd be interested to hear what they do elsewhere to address this and ensure that everyone moves on with their reading.

Dd's books get changed when they have been read at home. We struggle to keep up with 2 twice a week - yesterday they changed one as we hadn't read the other. But there is no pressure at all. On days that I work there is no hope of reading after school - but in any case - I am finding dd is most amenable after breakfast (well it's working this week so far...).

They are not reading as a class - still doing phonics I think. Reading books are give at different levels depending on the child.

Moodlum - maybe ds is different reading for his teacher. When I read the enthusiastic praise written by her teachers at school about her reading I seriously wonder if they have written in the wrong child's book!

Grammer-To start off they were given a sound box with a few sounds in each week or so which they had to learn but when she realised DS knew them she just kept adding more and more to see how far he could go until he got all of them after about 4 weeks...whereas a lot of the children I think still haven't got all of them now.

They have these word walls to learn with 9 key words on each one and they are "tested" on them each week but are supposed to keep each word wall for 3 weeks so they make sure they know each word so it means they are "tested" 3 times for each word wall but his teacher decided to just do him once on every word wall as he knew some of the easier ones already.

He still does the JP activities with the rest of the class and sings the songs and the actions etc but they are also doing stuff in smaller groups so him and another few children (who are all girls incidentally!)get to go and do some other stuff. As far as I understand it they are using the phonics sounds to make words and little stories and to write them in their books. Its nothing hugely different to what the others are doing but its just giving him a gentle push and getting him to do other sound related things. Every child is completely different so it makes sense that need to do different things...lets hope this supply teacher they've got at the moment thinks the same way.

The words he has got to learn at the moment are really quite hard and most of them have got a silent e on the end such as came,make,house etc and have no idea how on earth to explain that to him so think I might need a word with this new teacher and see what she says unless anyone else can let me know how on earth to explain it to him!!

I wondered about that too with the ending in e words - I'm sure someone on here will know a clever explanation. Maybe post in the general primary section - MRZ is brilliant for this sort of thing.

Ds has tricky words and they did give him ones he didn't know however he has now been waiting weeks for some new ones as he's finished the latest batch and the teacher never seems to change them. Are your lot expected to spell them or just read them?

I am just finding the pace of things terribly slow, even taking account of the fact it's only reception and meant to be gentle.

So....it sounds like it would be reasonable of me to have a word with the teacher to at least ask what her approach is for him/ what his learning goals are and to see if there is anything they can do that might be a bit more appropriate for his reading and numeracy (without it losing the play based feel of reception of course)?

Or will she wonder why I'm asking??!

And how will I go about having that discussion in a non pushy parent way!??

GP - when is your parents' evening? I'm wondering about asking about ds' reading then, but ours isn't until End of Feb, which seems a while away to be doing the wrong thing? Could you wait until then, or like me, is it too far away?

Feels too far away and half the academic year will be over by then.

I find it hard to grab the teacher's attention at picking up or dropping off time as understandably there are 30 kids and 30 parents/ nannies etc. going in and out. Argh!

I do need to do something as I've no idea what he's learnt so far in reading, writing and maths terms at school and that doesn't seem right. It's been good for his confidence and social skills but they are meant to learn the 3Rs too a bit aren't they?!?

At dd's school, we are encouraged to talk to the teachers after pick up time, when all the children have disappeared. When I've done this, I have found the teachers generally supportive and helpful at this time. If you're worried, you should go in. I'm always surprised by what my children actually know, and even having a look at his work on the walls in the classroom might reassure (and, in my case, surprise )

Lol!! I know that was exactly what I was worrying about as well...I really didn't want to say anything to her because I didn't want to come across as pushy (because like you Im not at all) but at the same time I wanted him to be doing stuff to challenge him like all the other children were getting a chance to do. I know reception is all playbased and they are there to have fun which I know DS does but Im sure its why some children then find the transition from reception to year 1 so huge because they haven't been pushed at all and then when they get to Y1 its a huge shock for them because they are then expected to do proper "work".

They are expected to be able to just sight read the tricky words that they get...no mention of spelling as yet.

Id managed to not let the other mums at the school know what DS was doing with regard to reading etc for all last term because I didn't want them to think I was a pushy mum...and then just before christmas the TA announced to me in front of everyone that she needed to photocopy a word list for DS and she'd put it in his book bag the next day-there was just stunned silence and then everyone started saying how fantastic it was so I was all worried about nothing. He isn't some kind of genius at all but he loves words and has been itching to read for over a year so once he was given the chance he just grabbed it with both hands and ran with it. Numbers on the other hand is a completely different thing...he still misses out 13/14 when counting and says numbers back to front-for example 25 he would read as 52 etc yet his friend is amazing with numbers so they are all so different!

"I wanted him to be doing stuff to challenge him like all the other children were getting a chance to do."

My thoughts exactly Iheart!

ha ha in fact I think you are me (!) as I had the exact same issue in front of the mums early last term when ds had done something 'unusual' for his age and the teacher announced it to me in front of the picking up queue of mums.

I was which is silly really. Haven't told more than two other mums that he gets books. All very awkward.

I would like to know what dd is actually doing in school. I rely on her account which is somewhat patchy. There is an afternoon each term where we go in and watch them do something in the hall and then look around their classroom.

What I have done with dd wrt silient 'e' words, is teach the whole phoneme as a unit, e.g. ane, one, ine (ultra pesky) etc - i.e. that the e is not really silent - it changes the vowel sound. She doesn't get words to learn - they just pop up in her books. She writes the new ones in her report book but we never remember to go over them - I should try do that.

Sometimes I do fall back on 'silly silent letters' e.g. pesky useless 'h' here and there. It's just easier at this point.

Lol!! I know I was like that as well-feel like I should really be shouting it from the rooftops that he is doing well but you can't can you?!

Try making an appointment to see her or popping in before school...might be easier to speak to her before she's had to deal with 30 4/5 year olds all day.

I really hope for your sake you aren't me lol!!!

DD did i today

Still bouncing out of school excited to tell me about her morning so I am happy .

There is an open day in a couple of weeks time so I am spending the morning in DD's class and then the afternoon in DS's class. And I get to have school dinner . I will look on the menu to see what I can choose from - I am hoping DS will look after me. I have never had a school dinner before ever .

When I have needed to discuss things with teachers, I have mentioned it in the morning and made a separate appointment to see them, which seems to have worked.

First line of my post looks like it is missing something. It is saying they did the sound i. There was also an assembly ("you have to sit with your legs crossed everywhere), going to the school library to get a book ("you change it every Thursday") and doing some number activity with Lilly and Millie.

Hello, I'm still here just strugling to catch up!!

Still no books. I wonder if I should ask?

No tears, it is such a massive massive relief [Noah last term dd1 was rally bad, especially towards the end of term] so hopefullyit means that the school is ok, it is dd who gets tired.

I'm going to read properly once dd's in bed.....I may be sometime......

I have been reading the thread before this one (where I lurked but didn't want to post on grounds of not belonging).

Have found out I am a little bit older than you tree . Just less than a month I think.

This week is wearing me out. Could also be the increased going back and forth from school - pre-school was on the way home so not as much walking. Think it is 0.4 miles away so now I am going there and back at 8:50, 11:30 and 3:20. And DD is going at 8:50, back at 11:30 and there and back at 3:20.

Today there was ballet after school. Poor DD came out of ballet with just about held in tears and a bloody knee . And drips of blood on the ballet shoe. She had "gone too fast being a mouse ".

A good mother would have had plasters in her handbag, sadly I am not a good mother. Did have crumpled up tissue though. And blood seems to have come out of ballet shoe .

poor little noah's mouse!

Re. silent e - I explained it by telling her that sometimes there was a 'magic e' on the end of a word which changed the sound of the vowel and usually made it say its name. It seemed to work OK and she has totally got the hang of it and no longer has to pause and think about it.

I am taking the view that essentially she will get whatever stimulation she needs on the reading front from me at home. School, for now, is I think for socialising and getting used to being part of a huge group. I am prepared to be shot down in flames, but I can't really see how a child can properly learn to read and make progress in a class of 30. I love dd1's teacher and she has fostered dd1's enthusiasm, which I think is pretty much all I would hope for. I don't think there is any point in pushing for more challenging work at school unless dd1 starts to complain about being bored. So far she seems happy enough, and is enjoying reading lots of different books at home, so I don't think there's a problem.

Poor mouse! I took dd to buy new shoes after school and she fell down twice and and scraped her knees. I'm afraid I am of the 'oh well never mind - carry on' school on bumps and scrapes.

Aranea - I love the 'magic e'. I will have to try that.