Reception year bday party etiquette

[TheRedSalamander]

It's ds's 5th bday party next weekend (joint with a few others that we have known since antenatal, all in reception with 3 of them in same school) and what with 4 sets of cousins and close friends we just don't have enough room to invite everyone in the class even though I really would have liked to. Would it be mean to send the ones who we couldn't invite a little party bag afterwards? Wouldn't want to rub their noses in it but at the same time ds is quite a friendly soul and he does talk about all his classmates at some point during the week and I would hate to be the mum who had made a little one feel left out in the first term of the first year. But then maybe a party bag would just highlight the fact that they didn't get invited and the parents might take umbridge!

Oooh school etiquette is something I hadn't considered before ds started reception it's such a minefield isn't it.

Don't worry about not inviting everyone. There was a trend when mine were that age that the whole class seemed to get invited to every party. There was a party nearly every weekend and the kids got sick of them and didn't want to go.

Other parents will probably be relieved that you have set the trend for not inviting the whole class, so they won't have to either.

DS mentioned that he had a bag of Magic Stars at school the other day because it was someone's birthday - you could do that? Then its not linked to the party like party bags are, iyswim.

DS hasn't had any party invitations yet but his friend (same class) has had one. I think DS is just a bit quieter and compliant, so his name isn't heard that much in the classroom. [Chews nails over son's social life.]

Are the 3 in the same class?

Any joint parties normally cover the whole class here because each birthday child has a different set of friends.

Normal to send a bag of chocolate bars in on the birthday for attendees and non-attendees alike.

You'll soon get the hang of it!

The kids at our school tend to hand our little bags of starmix / lollys / or home make cakes to everyone in their class at the end of the day when it's their birthday. They give these to everyone whether they are invited to the party or not.

We do the "birthday child brings in cakes/treats" thing too, though it can't be sweets so by the time you've made everything using fresh packs to make sure they can't be contaminated by nuts and provided different treats for the kids who can't eat gluten or egg I kind of wish we could just go back to the good old days when kids had to learn that sometimes in life they may be disappointed