Handing out birthday party invitations

[FimbleHobbs]

Is there an etiquette to handing out party invitations at school when you are only inviting c.10 out of a class of 30 children?

I don't know all the children or their parents (reception year) so I was wondering if the teacher/TA would put them in the right book bags if I asked extremely nicely? I know it is not their job to do but I don't want to be tactlessly handing them out in the playground especially given I will have to ask who is who....

Would be happy to put them in book bags myself but they are all in a big pile and so I can hardly just rifle through them all.

Any other ideas gratefully received. DS is adament he does not want a whole class party.

Best to get your DS to hand them out in the playground - before or after school. They've all got to realise they can't go to everyone's parties and better sooner than later! My dd's teacher would only give out if whole class invited!

Thanks katiemum - DS is still only 4 though and can't read all the names so it would have to be done with me hovering over him.

I think I'll have to spend a few weeks spying at collection times to discover who everyone is....

I just know I am going to upset the Popular Mum of the Popular Boy because he is not invited (DS doesn't really play with him) so I am trying to find the most discreet way of handling this.

We just hand ours to the teacher who will put them in the book bags. Children don't even know they have an invite until they get home and look in the book bag. How are they to know who does and doesn't have an invite. You are more likely to highlight those that are not being invited by doing it in the playground.

Ask the teacher.

Putting in book bags in the most discreet way.
I wouldn't care about the other parents. I mean there will be plenty of times when your DS will not get invites others do. It is a part of school life.

TBH I actually get relieved when DS isn't invited. You can weekends completely filled with parties. Not only does it take up time but cost with presents as well.

I know it adds to costs, but can you not just mail them? We get a list of parents' addresses each term - does your school do that? If you can't hand the invites around yourself and need to be sure they get in the right hands (and to be selective about who gets invited), I would think this is by far the most discreet way to handle it.

I'm really shocked at a school handing out pupil's addresses they are breaking the law!

My kids just hand invitations out to the person they are inviting.

I find post a good way too. We have opt-in parent directories in our schools. This is invaluable when checking up on teenagers - in fact, the school advises us to double check party details with parents. It can avoid nasty surprises

Mrz - we all got an address list too. School is not breaking law as they send slip home to be signed asking for consent before they did it.

My DCs school has policy will only hand out in school (into book bags) if inviting whole class (although ok for DD to invite just the girls, and DS to invite all just the boys) - this was made clear at start of school year) so I suggest you need to speak to teacher.

mrz - it's usually a class rep who collects addresses directly from parents who consent to them being given to everyone in the class. It is nothing to do with the school. I have the addresses of the kids in my DS's class.

If it is another parent supplying addresses with consent that is fine but a school supplying pupil addresses isn't.

My DCs' school forbids handing out invitations in school unless the whole class is gtting invited. If less than the whole class is invited, you must find some other way to deliver them. I love this rule. The Parent assoc publishes a directory booklet each year, just a simple typed thing - you can opt out if you want so no problem with privacy.

to answer the OP - I would ask the teacher what they would prefer - bookbags or playground then do as the teacher says.

Thanks all - I will ask the teacher tomorrow about book bags. If they don't mind doing it it would be a lot more discreet. They seem to come home with plenty of junk mail in their bookbags

mommynbunny we don't get addresses given out - mind you I would be upset if they were, DH is a police officer and I wouldn't want all and sundry knowing where we live.

When we have to fill in new contact forms at the beginning of each school year, there is a box to tick indicating that you are happy for your details to be shared with the year group.

It's a system that works really well, and AFAIK, everyone opts in.

I've just done this for my dss' 5th bday, I handed them out before school to the parents with ds pointing out the children. I never knew what a fuss it could cause, one mum hasnt spoke to me since, feel like i'm back in the class myself.

The teachers will put party invites in bookbags, even invites to Pampered chef parties and the like.

I have always just handed the invites to the teacher to slip into Reading bags - works well and is very discreet. I also give her thank you notes and notes meant for parents this way.

This is why you should only invite children you KNOW to parties- not the whole class!

The way we get the addresses is through the class rep. Yep, private school and (thankfully so far) no experience with domestic violence. The issue of getting/giving addresses hadn't, I confess, occurred to me but of course I see the issue now. Agree it shouldn't be the teacher's job to give the invites out, especially if not all the class is invited.

We are told clearly that we must mail party invites unless it is a whole class party when the teachers will put them in the record books. (Class list circulated by "class mum" and we can opt in/out of our details being shared). Yes, childen do need to learn that they can't be invited to every party, but party invites can cause unnecessary grief so if you're handing them out in the playground I would suggest the end of the day to minimise the "did you get an invite" conversations, and discretion!