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Does your school have rules for handing out presents in class

27 replies

MintyCane · 18/11/2009 13:53

A girl in my dds class recently went on holiday and brought back a present for every girl in the class except my dd. She told her that this was "because she doesn't like her"

I was told about this by several of my dds friends.

While i understand that dd is not entitled to get a gift, I feel that gifts should not be handed out in class without everyone getting one. In fact I don't think school is the place to give out gifts at all.

The same child gave out christmas presents to all the girls except my dd last year and intends to do this again.

She also often takes in sweets and is given permission by the teacher to hand them out to the children. The child deliberately excludes some children.

Should I say something to the school ?

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MintyCane · 18/11/2009 14:13

bump - I know it is a boring one but please someone should i talk to school or not ?

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coppertop · 18/11/2009 14:16

I don't have any real advice but the situation sounds horrible. Personally I think I would speak to someone at the school.

Poor dd.

MintyCane · 18/11/2009 14:18

OK I will

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WhatDidISayRoy · 18/11/2009 14:19

How nasty. I would expect the teacher had no idea that there would be one for all the girls except for your DD. I am sure if she had known then she would have perhaps organised it quietly.

I understand how you feel though, things like this really get my goat too, and although i know it is childish i would be sending my dd in with something for everyone except her with the same comment. (well that is what i would feel like doing anyway)

Hulababy · 18/11/2009 14:20

i bet the teacher has not seen that your dd is being excluded like this. Speak to her.

MintyCane · 18/11/2009 14:23

I don't think the teacher can have noticed either she is a lovely lady. Last year this girl ripped up my dds party invite and xmas card.

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saythatagain · 18/11/2009 14:26

Deffo speak to the teacher. What an awful situation for your poor dd (and for you too). The girl sounds dreadful. It sounds like sort of absent bullying iyswim...very cruel. Hope you get it sorted out x

MintyCane · 18/11/2009 14:32

Thanks, I am crying now. DD is handling it better than me. I grumpily said don't give her a christmas card then and she said "That would make me as mean as her. I am going to give her one even if she does rip it up"

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saythatagain · 18/11/2009 14:34

Your daughter is a credit to you MC.

MintyCane · 18/11/2009 14:35

thanks

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WhatDidISayRoy · 18/11/2009 14:36

yes, what a dear little thing. Much more grown up about it than i would have been.

BlueKangerooWonders · 18/11/2009 14:37

isn't this a form of bullying? The school must have an anti-bulying policy, so I think you have to go to the head teacher.

WhatDidISayRoy · 18/11/2009 14:39

That girl's mother sounds just as bad. If my dd was giving a present to the girls in the class, i would know that one had been missed out, and not allow it to happen. At their age, the mum must be in charge of the buying etc, so she must be aware. Cowbag.

MintyCane · 18/11/2009 14:40

I know I was so proud. I think she has been putting up with this for longer than i had thought. It is definitly time to go in and have a talk with the teacher. There are probably other things I don't hear about, she is not the moaning type.

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MintyCane · 18/11/2009 14:42

The mother is aware, she watched her daughter tear up the birthday invitation and throw it at my dds feet in the playground. She didn't do or say anything. It is very odd, I don't know what their problem is.

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MintyCane · 18/11/2009 14:43

I have to go and get her now so I will try and see the teacher now if possible. Thanks so much for all your help.

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WhatDidISayRoy · 18/11/2009 14:45

What ?? the mother watched the tearing up of the card and said nothing??? . Well, she is one screwed up woman, and that is where the problem obviously lies, not so much the child but the bloody mother!

lockets · 18/11/2009 14:46

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PixieOnaLeaf · 18/11/2009 15:05

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handbagqueen · 18/11/2009 15:16

I really don't understand parents that let their children be mean and spiteful and don't do anything about it. Its part of bringing a child up to teach them what is acceptable behaviour. If my DD ever says she is not inving someone to something because she doesn't like them, she not only has them invited to the party but also round to tea.

I would speak to the teacher, this week is anti-bullying week so its a good time to do it as it is topical for the teaching in class.

MintyCane · 18/11/2009 15:43

I managed to see the teacher and she said she was already aware of the situation and was monitoring what was going on. Several girls had told her what the other girl had done. I feel much better now I know that. Thanks so much for all your lovely comments and advice.

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WhatDidISayRoy · 18/11/2009 15:47

glad you had your chance to see the teacher. Also good to know that she was already on the case. I hope things are sorted for you and your lovely little DD.

MintyCane · 18/11/2009 15:51

Thanks

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pyjamababe · 18/11/2009 21:25

That is completely outrageous! I teach year 2 and would definately want to know if that sort of thing was going on, it IS bullying. Go to the teacher, go to the head and ask for the anti-bullying policy (it's anti-bullying week I think so good time to do it) and keep following it up until it is sorted. Don't speak to the silly cow other child's mother directly. There seems to be definate issues there. Good luck and I hope it gets resolved quickly for your DDs sake x

kreecherlivesupstairs · 19/11/2009 09:34

It is bullying. My dd had a similar issue last year. A girl in her class had a birthday party, everyone was invited except her. The little sod went round 'heres one for you a, not you X, one for you b, you're not invited x, ooh c here's yours, I haven't invited x. X being my dd. when it was her birthday she invited the little shitpot who had the brass neck to come despite not having spoken to my girl for 7 months.. She didn't win any of the games that I was in charge of, in fact I don't think she got a go at unwrapping in pass the parcel.

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