Please can you help - playground talk

[marthastewart]

I would very much appreciate any advice on this prob below. She is my first child so I am experiencing each stage for the first time.
My daughter - aqed 6 and a half was quite upset after school today as she had overheard a classmate saying she "hated" her during play time today.

I want to deal with this properly - ie not overstate it - as tbh I know it's part of life and this kind of talk goes on in girls schools especially.

However I do want her to know that I take it seriously when she is upset and that it's not ok for people to say hurtful things!

Can you, who have more experience of these little battles please help me out with what might best work? Thanks so much in advance.

Hi, I would speak to the class teacher, just let her know what happened and that your DD was upset, then let the teacher deal with it and let you DD know that the teacher is handling it. The school will have school rules the children are taught and one of them will be being kind to others. It is also anti bullying week this week so this would be a good time for the teacher to speak to the whole class about appriopriate behaviour and acceptable things to say.

Hi there and thanks for your response. I did think of doing this but was not sure if it was over reacting. Looking at the other posts on here - things can be much more difficult for other kids - and I would have no hesitation approaching teacher for some of the problems listed. It's really sad that kids have to be teased and hurt.

To be honest - I think I am a bit oversensitive and would like if she could be a little more resilient than me! - I mean I was really upset that she was upset but tried not to let it show!

I just want to get it right and ensure she has minimum upsets like this - I do realise though that I can't sheild her for life!

It's not ott at all if it upsets your daughter. If it were me, I'd maybe try and get her to deal with it herself, if only because it will give her confidence in future. Tell her if it happens again to say to the girl she'll tell the teacher if she keeps doing it - and if she does just to go straight to a teacher. Only if you think she can cope with that though. If she's too upset or scared by the other girl, definitely talk to the teacher.

If it was just a one off I'd leave it as kids fall out and say 'I hate you I'll never be your friend ever again', then the next day it's all forgotten and they are best mates.

Explain to your daughter that the other girl was probably just being silly and didn't really mean it, but that it's wrong to hurt other people's feelings like that and you are glad your DD doesn't say silly things like that.

If it happens again and again I'd think about mentioning it to the teachers but you can't really go telling tales about everything a 6yr old says in the plaground.

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond - plenty of food for thought.

I do want to let her know that I take it seriously when she is upset like this but I think the point made about her sorting it out for herself is very valid too!

Thanks again for your help!