what would you do about this?

[misshardbroom]

Last week we had a fire at home - thankfully not the house, just the garden shed set on fire by local scallies, but it was quite spectacular at the time and warranted a fire engine etc. Also, it happened at bedtime, and right outside DS1's bedroom window, so he was all nerves a-jangle afterwards.

So the next day when I took him to school, I spoke to his reception teacher and told her what had happened, and that he was rather anxious & edgy about it, and that he wasn't sleeping well as a result.

As the week progressed, it was evident something had upset him at school because he was waking in the night crying about school and saying he didn't want to go, etc. I asked DD about it (she's in Yr 1), and she gave me a rather garbled account of how he'd been upset at school because some girls in his class (yes, 4 year olds) had told him 'we're going to kill your sister'. Apparently his TA had seen DD at lunchtime and suggested she went to find him so he could see that she was fine (and hadn't been killed by reception age girls, etc etc).

So on Friday when I collected him, it happened to be the TA who was letting them out, so I asked her about it. Apparently, these girls had said this in class, and it had resulted in DS1 being really hysterically upset. The TA told me that the class teacher had sorted it out, but that when she (TA) had seen DD at lunchtime, she had thought it would be an idea to send DD to find DS1.

I mentioned about our fire at home to the TA and this was the first she had heard about it.

So am I being incredibly precious, or do you think that the teacher should have a) told me that my child had been terribly upset, given that I had warned her he was a bag of nerves following a fire at home; and b) shared the information about the fire & DS1's resultant anxiety with the TA?

And if you were me, what would you do? I don't want to stir it up and be a PITA, but given that DS1 has another 2 terms in that class and then DS2 will be in reception next year, I feel I want to flag up that this isn't great and has pissed me off.

Thanks if you've read this far. Sorry it's long and complicated.

Of course the teacher should have told the TA and taken into account the fire. Someone should also be having a word with the delightul girls who made that vile statment. i don't think you would be stirring things up and definitely shouldn't be considered a PITA. You are doing all you can to ensure your ds is happy at school.

Thanks. I have a horror of being seen as the precious middle-class mother, but something just wasn't chiming right with me about this. Think I'll go and see the head this morning.

That sounds awful. Your poor DS. Hope you got some good answers and feel happier.
fwiw I know killing sounds extraordinary for 4 yr olds, but I found my son and his friends saying it - they were racing round in teams saying 'we're going to kill you'. None of them are violent or aggressive and I had a gentle word and said that 'kill' wasn't actually very nice and they were a bit amazed. Not saying the girls weren't being nasty, as they were if they made your DS cry, but it might not have been meant as darkly as it sounds. Really hope it wasn't.