reception class toilet regression

[thepotwashpixie]

Hello! I'm new! Apologies if I'm going over old ground... I've had a good hunt around and haven't found exactly this problem so far...(and enjoying what I've seen and wondering why I haven't been here before!) I have found a link on another post to ERIC which looks great and I'll follow up tomorrow but looking for any other similar experiences or opinions..
My son is 4 yrs (end of august)and since starting school has starting wetting himself daily. It happened first couple of days then improved for weeks. Then when the class size doubled (after half day intro weeks)it started again and has never really gone away. There seems to be number of factors.. he is shy and wont talk to the teachers (a whole other issue!), he goes frequently anyway, is a bit last minute and easily distracted by play, and since talking it over with his teachers who were very kind and assured him it was ok to have accidents he has almost taken that as license and hasn't had a dry day since - until yesterday but then today they made him star of the week for that and he promptly had 2 accidents today. They have given him permission to go when he needs (ie not necessarily asking), they change him, and are very kind to me! I have nothing but praise for his teachers and TAs but we are all at a loss I have tried reward charts but have to admit at times my disappointment has been more than obvious but I'm stepping up the effort to disguise that... any help/ ideas/ moral support gratefully received!

His teacher needs to be supportive -

gentle prompting at the start of each play time to go to the toilet BEFORE play

to be sensitive to the signs that he needs to go

to reiterate to the whole class that it is acceptable to raise your hand and ask to go to the toilet

School loos can be scary places with their clanky chains and wierdy trough thingy

(both of mine wet at school regularly in reception until after XMAS)

Don't be cross with him ,he is getting to grips with a whole new way of life, and this v common

Good luck

gah how rude!

Welcome to MN

Sorry

DD just started too and has had 2 accidents where previously she was dry, teacher said it is VERY normal

V common - think BALD covered all the school points - we also had a star chart for it - 5 dry days in a row = after school sweets on a Friday. Also, if he's a frequent wee-er - is he drinking enough? It might be that he's only drinking small quantities, and so the urine's more sting-y, making going more urgent. Try and get him to drink more water?

Thank you all! They have been pretty good at reminding him on the whole. with drinks he tends to guzzle large drinks in one go. may be I should try little and often (although hard to monitor at school) The after xmas is reassuring, and our star chart has a reward at 10, maybe a bit ambitious! I'll offer him 5 and see how we go!... Thanks again

this happened with DD who turned 5 at the start of reception. by encouraging her to drink MORE she was more aware that she needed and the problem got better - although it did take months to resolve... she was coming hom slightly damp rather than needing change of clothes.

you need to have quiet word with classroom assistant or teacher and ask them to remind him to go.

then need start chart and reward him if he comes home in dry pants (ie the same ones that he had on in morning).

Welcome to Mumsnet !

This happened to my youngest dd. She is very nervous at school and would not ask to go. In fact she was and still is usually mute at school but like you say that is another story. She had been dry since 2 at home and started to wet herself daily. It was anxiety and not wanting to ask. It will go away eventually.

My dd is in year 2 now and will ask to go to the loo and no longer wets herself.

I find they do not want to go during play as this can mean they miss out on the games that are going on. They also don't like to interupt what is going on the classroom because it is embarassing. Therefore choosing the right moment is dificult for them even if they don't have to ask.

Also, the loos are usually not very nice and the journey alone might be stressful. Some reception children find just walking up the corridor daunting.

Good luck, keep calm, it will go away. It is very very common.

Thank you MintyCane, your situation sounds very similar. I think i need to worry less and treat it as a normal phase we will come through. I think it is tied up with his feelings about school, missing out on playtime, adults, and drawing attention to himself, and of course the huge tiredness. It's hard to feel normal when you don't see anyone else after 8 weeks in the playground clutching a bag of wet clothes every day, so it's good to hear others have been there and come through it. I will concentrate more on helping him to develope a relationship with his teachers (who are all desperate for him to talk to them and surely that will help). Have a good weekend everyone.