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Teachers with 3 (or more!) dc...

62 replies

jennifersofia · 17/10/2009 10:47

How do you do it? I am doing 3 days a week in Y4 and just feel like I am drowning and making a bad job of it. Any advice?

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Heated · 19/10/2009 15:42

I just wondered if you had found the right school for you and whether a different school environment might suit you more? I think it was you who mentioned in an earlier post 40% of lesson time given to classroom management and 60% of the time teaching and your dissatisfaction with that.

My school doesn't have too many discipline issues but there is massive amounts of prep and marking; dh does very little at home (partly due to the subject) but teaches some bloody difficult classes and neither of us would be happy in each other's schools.

OrmIrian · 19/10/2009 15:48

DH is. But he has a wife Try getting one of those.....

Having said that I work full-time so I'm not much cop in the domestic stakes. It's his first term and he is very tired atm.

elliepac · 19/10/2009 15:58

JUst found this thread. Am a full time teacher (off work with sick DD today) with DS (6) and DD (20m) and responsibilities at work (CUrriculum Leader for History). I do sincerely love my job but have been guilty in the past of stuffing up majorly due to trying to be wonderwoman. I have therefore now given up trying to be wonderwoman and am currently trying to be 'gets it right most of the time woman'. What works for me is:-

Lists - particularly at work. I do 2 lists at the beginning of each work. One for my own personal teaching and one for department stuff. I prioritise things and work through them accordingly although will admit that some things are continuously put at the bottom of the list eg. tidy my cupboards

Time Allocation - When I am at work, I wprk like a demon and don't waste a minute. Can't drop DC's off till 8 but from when I get to work until I leave at 4.45 I work very hard, getting as much done there as possible. When I get home it is DC time until they got to bed (around 7.30). Weekends are family time although I work when DD has ner 2 hour nap every day.

As far as domesticity is concerned, can't remember who mentioned it but that tends to take a back seat during term time and then get caught back up during holidays (house is disgraceful at min...half term next week). Am currently trying the flylady thing and that does seem to be having an impact. DH helps where possible but he is out of the house from 6am till 7pm most days and so it is limited during the week.

janeite · 19/10/2009 18:24

Does anybody have a link to the Fly Lady teacher thing?

Morosky · 19/10/2009 18:32

here

VictoriousSponge · 19/10/2009 18:34

three days has ocme as a big shock for me too.
mine are older but i have now got a cleaner and htta has made a huge diff, only 2 hrs a week though

i am so tired at the end of the day and it can make oyu short with your own kids

VictoriousSponge · 19/10/2009 18:36

i do have a fabbola h who normaly does all the washing too. as the kids are older its easier but they also have MASSES of commitments and we are spending every weekend at sport fixtures.

janeite · 19/10/2009 18:38

Thanks Morosky.

Must not look at it yet though as I am supposed to be marking Macbeth essays!

Most of the time I feel like a bad mother who ignores her children but they are now at the age where they don't much want to talk to me anyway, so I feel less guilty.

VictoriousSponge · 19/10/2009 18:38

i htink you need to learn to cut corners too.
dont reinvent the wheel. I found soem fantastic resouces and lesosn plans ont eh shelter website

charmander · 19/10/2009 18:47

One thing that really helps me is having PPA with the 2 other teachers in my year group. We plan together and get resources ready and it is fun as well as a good chance to egg each other on into good ideas - sorry I can't think how to put that, "share best practise " or something. (Had to talk to gov's curriculum comm. tonight, now brain dead).

I need to get organised, my dh is going to look for work in New Zealand in 2 weeks time, will be there for quite a while, so need to be really on top of things.

popsycal · 19/10/2009 18:49

i have 3, work 2 days and am drowning too

Morosky · 19/10/2009 18:53

No probs Janeite. I am just waiting for the woodburner to start its magic so I can snuggle down with some marking.

I only have one child and have battled with work life balance for years. A huge step for me was moving school. I am a perfectionist and tried being different but it meant I was no longer doing my job in a way that made me feel successful. I went to a less challenging school so I was less emotionally tired and I spend much less time on discipline. If I am tired and want to have a book lesson or take a back seat I now can do. I have to work less hard in many ways to be successful. My marking load has increased though but being less tired I can whizz through books.

I work long hours in the week but rarely do much at the weekend and my holidays are almost work free. In each holiday dd goes to stay with her father and I will work then so I can give her all my time.

A second huge step for us was realising that both dp and I cannot have full on careers. This is complicated by the fact that I have a long term illness which means I need more support at home. Dp now only works school day hours from home, so he can run the house almost single handed and dd effectively has a parent at home for her all the time.

I use the internet for lessons and resources. My department also has detailed lesson plans for key stage 3 and 4. This means I only ever have to tweak a lesson and not plan it. It also means I rarely have to work at home as my lessons are planned and if the kids have to wait another week for their books to be marked so be it. SO last week I was feeling under the weather so I came home soon after the bell every night and rested at home doing very little work. This week I am feeling better so can pick up the slack.

My dp is just fantastic though, every Friday he will come into work for at least an hour, do all my filing, do displays, tidy my room etc. I could not do my job without him.

Morosky · 19/10/2009 18:55

I only see my classes once a week and have to set homework every week. If my marking load is heavy I will set spellings or something they can mark themselves. Looking ahead and planning for my workload is only something I have been able to recently do rather than wading through the chaos.

Chica31 · 19/10/2009 19:02

I have been reading this thread with loads of interest and picking up on all the tips. I am going back to work in January when DD will be 7.5 months. I'm going back full time to teach year 4.

DH is a teacher too, so he understands the stresses of the job, but it means we both come in exhausted at the end of the day.

Any more advice?

VictoriousSponge · 19/10/2009 19:05

your DP comes into your work?
god oyu are barking

janeite · 19/10/2009 19:08

No way would my dp come into work! In fact, they offered him a job once and he ran screaming in the other direction.

elliepac · 19/10/2009 20:43

If my DH came into school for any more than an hour, i suspect he might punch one of the little darlings

Am with you all on the resources front. There is no point in re-inventing the wheel. You can either share resources with colleagues, get them from a website, use textbooks...that's what they are there for!

As far as marking is concerned, self/peer assessment is the way to go!

I do also think that the longer you have been teaching the easier it gets as far as day to day stuff is concerned.I am lucky in that i am in a nice school where i very rarely have discipline issues to deal with but i have worked in a tough school and it grinds you down daily.

ravenAK · 19/10/2009 21:40

Just quickly to ja9...sorry if I came across as woeful!

I bloody love my job.

If I didn't, I'd find something less knackering. But for me, it's the right balance - I work my arse off for 7 weeks, then have a lovely week or more with my family, then back to the madhouse.

Dh has suggested pt, or a year or two out, on occasion, simply because he quite fancies the idea of a chilled out domestic goddess at home (& tbh financially it'd make not that much difference, 3 lots of CM doesn't leave a huge amount of change from one salary) - but I wouldn't be chilled & goddess-like, I'd be bored miserable.

Mind you, a week before the end of the hardest half term is not a great time to expect teachers to be rhapsodising about their jobs!

4 more get-ups ladies...

janeite · 19/10/2009 21:51

Four more get ups - hurray!! It has been a particularly hard slog this term.

Am trying to think of more tips:-

  • keep a bottle of water and some oatcakes or nuts and raisins in your desk (except I no longer have a desk ) to avoid the munchie feeling where you end up in the canteen with a bowl of sponge and pink custard before you quite know how you got there
  • Have files for everything and spend an hour a week sticking things in files: similarly spend time organising the folders on your computer so you know where everything is
  • hand cream in desk drawer or handbag - I hate it when I get to 2.30ish and realise my hands feel like crone-hands and I have nothing to help them
  • use nice pens for marking as it makes it a more pleasant experience / ditto buy good quality polypockets not the horrible cheap ones - it just feels nicer!
  • there is always at least one colleague who wants to talk nonsense when you are trying to work/ Get your sweet smile and 'I really must get on with this' stance perfected so he buggers off pdq
soyabean · 19/10/2009 22:04

Hello I am a reception teacher with three dcs - this is my second year teaching, and it is a little bit easier than last year!

Keeping on top of filing/ observations definitely a must, and sorting out computer files into folders (trouble is I use three disfferent computers...)

Dh works part time so does lots of cooking and can deal with deliveries/ day time phone calls etc (and has started to do the shopping and hang out washing) which is great but we really struggle financially - you can't win. Kids are teenaged and becoming increasingly expensive - life seemed quite cheap when they were little.

I do love the job and don't regret the career change at all but I have never been so knackered in my life! and it is frustrating for me to work so hard and still be short of money all the time.

cat64 · 19/10/2009 22:29

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jennifersofia · 19/10/2009 23:37

You are all such a helpful lot - you must be teachers or something....
Looking at that flylady site has me slightly going (gulp!). It all looks good - just now need some time to do it in, I know it saves time but must force myself to make the initial investment.
I do work in a challenging school in some ways, almost exclusively EAL and difficult socio-economic sector, and sometimes fantasize about a school in an area where children come from 'motivated' parents without these issue. However, I am not totally convinced such a school exists and wonder if one adjusts one's sights for where you are, iyswim. If you are in such a school - surely you still have to deal with behavioural issues, don't you?

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cat64 · 20/10/2009 10:32

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ravenAK · 20/10/2009 20:34

...or telling their young daily that teachers earn a quarter what Mummy does, darling, so it's not fair to be mean to poor downtrodden Mrs Raven...

...or writing 'why oh why' letters to the local rag complaining that the flower arrangements in reception look shabby, & the choir muffed the School Song at Speech Day...

...or turning up at the same music festivals as you & insisting on talking to you when you're both completely pissed...

But yes, the kids I teach are much easier than those in the tough school I did my TP in. Arrogant often, but fairly squashable.

charmander · 20/10/2009 21:59

I posted originally about the Flylady site.
I have to confess - I read it and was very keen last year. Then I was off sick for 3 out of the first 4 weeks of the school year, off loads more for the next term, then got a VERY disruptive pupil and never got going with it. Remembered about it when i saw this thread. So I have never done it really but aspire to it!

I have just handed in my notice and so not know where I will be in January so will have to try again when I do get a new job.