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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Would you go private for your dd/ds if a family member offered to pay?

78 replies

Megglevache · 09/10/2009 19:49

For primary private?

OP posts:

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Morosky · 09/10/2009 21:23

My dd has a good if not fantastic start thanks to good schools and more Importantly loving involved parents

LynetteScavo · 09/10/2009 21:24

For senior, possibly.

For primary, no.

glinda · 09/10/2009 21:26

Exactly Morosky - our children need good schools - not good private schools or good state schools.

Paolosgirl · 09/10/2009 21:39

Nope, because the private schools are quite a distance away, and because the local comp is very good. Only in extreme circumstances would I consider private schools, and would choose very carefully. Edinburgh is rife with them - some much better than others.

bluejeans · 09/10/2009 21:45

I've had to think about this but have come to the conclusion that I would for secondary. But not sure if DD would struggle with not having been there since primary - ie different work , sports etc

Also not sure DH would agree

It's unlikely but not impossible that we'd ever be in a position to accept/refuse.

piscesmoon · 09/10/2009 22:17

No- we live in an area of good state schools. If I was to educate them privately, I would be extremely fussy about which school. There are plenty of bad private schools around.

piscesmoon · 09/10/2009 22:18

I think that I would ask the relative to save it for university stage-when they would need it.

LynetteScavo · 09/10/2009 22:39

University...will that cost money???

I havent' planned for that.

Northernlurker · 09/10/2009 23:19

What age gap have you got Lynette? I've got nearly three years then 6 which means that unless they are perpetual students or do long courses we won't have to pay for more than one at uni at any one time!

Clary · 10/10/2009 00:06

tryharder why would you say no???

Are you seriously asking that? Lots of people are not keen on private schools for a number of reasons. It's far from the case that it's simply money stopping us from rushing through their doors.

I personally feel the same way about them as I do about private health clubs. But that's just me (odd lefty woman).

Queensshilling some of us think we are giving our DC a good start at their state school.

Other people may do as they wish, of course.

overmydeadbody · 10/10/2009 00:12

Yes, deffo

Without a second thought.

overmydeadbody · 10/10/2009 00:14

For secondary though, his primary is very good so I wouldn't let a relative wste their money on that, but for secondary I think it makes all the differnece.

fortyplus · 10/10/2009 00:43

No... I know too many weird people who are the product of private education... and I'm one of them!

State education is a better preparation for the real world. Having said that, if our local state schools were dire I would swallow my pride, go against my principles and tell myself that I have to right to treat my children as a social experiment.

FiveGoMadonTheDanceFloor · 10/10/2009 00:45

No for primary as we have very good primaries, but if someone wants to pay for my DC's to go secondary then yes please.

piscesmoon · 10/10/2009 09:05

'University...will that cost money???

My DS has just paid over £3000 for tuition fees, this is before you start on living expenses, and it seems almost certainly set to rise. If a relative is offering to pay school fees I would ask them to start a fund so that your DC doesn't start working life with a debt of over £20,000-and forget about school fees unless your state schools are bad.
I researched schools very carefully and chose to live in the right area for the schools and so I wouldn't see the need to pay for school fees. I agree with fortyplus, that they are a better preparation for real life, but I would pay if the schools were dire (if I could afford it).

Northernlurker · 10/10/2009 13:39

Is that £3000 per term or per year?

Ewe · 10/10/2009 13:46

Per year.

piscesmoon · 10/10/2009 13:58

There is talk of them rising to £5000 a year in 2010. I would assume that anyone wanting to send their DC to a private school at the primary age is wanting them to go on to further education. It is something to bear in mind. It has to be paid for at that age (only a very small amount is a means tested grant-most is a loan) so if there is only a limited amount of money it is best to wait until 18yrs IMO. If they are offering to pay through to 21yrs (or however long it takes)that is a different matter.

TheCrackFox · 10/10/2009 14:05

No. I would hate the feeling of being indebted to someone. You would always have to kowtow to them because the threat of them withdrawing funding would hang over you.

Besides which it is nice to go to the same school as all the other local children. It makes friendships at weekends and holidays far easier.

Moreover, I think some of the school trips in the Private Sector are completely over the top. The extras would soon mount up and you are endanger in having Dcs who are very spoilt.

mellifluouscauliflower · 10/10/2009 14:15

No, not if they can get into a good state school. We could (probably) afford it and we don't. I think if your child is reasonably bright he/she will learn what they need before the age of 11 in a good state school with help from reasonably committed parents. At this age I think my child will be made happiest by having friends who live around the corner. The advantages of private school are generally linked to material and career success. All very well..but not at 5!

katiestar · 10/10/2009 22:35

I'd say no because the village school is good and so close that it would be a hassle to have to drive to school.We are in 11+ area and then I hope they will all go onto the local grammar school

Georgimama · 10/10/2009 22:38

No. I'll pay myself thanks.

seeker · 10/10/2009 22:43

No. I wouldn't want my children to be indebted to someone even before they were old enough to understand what indebtedness means.

But we could afford to go private and choose not to. So the situation wouldn't arise.

choosyfloosy · 10/10/2009 22:44

I wouldn't absolutely rule it out. Particularly as we live close to two choir schools, which I have a politics-free blind spot about - I LOVE choir schools. But in general, I think that if you are going to go private, you have to stick it out for the duration, and that is a HELL of a lot of money. dh changed from state to private to state at sensitive ages, and had horrible times throughout.

I would discuss it with them for a very long time, would involve them in all visits, and would also repeatedly present them with the whole lump sum to think about - e.g. 'this is a minimum of £45,000, are you sure?'

MollieO · 10/10/2009 23:00

Depends on who, what guarantee they can give to fund all of the primary years, what your alternatives are and why they were offering.

Lots of people I know send their dcs to private for primary and state for secondary.

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